I do not own 'Full Metal Panic!' or any of its sequels. That honor belongs to Shouji Gatou. I am also not affiliated with any the FMP! anime series. That honor goes to Gonzo Digimation and Kyoto Animation.

Camp Gung Ho is, at the moment, dead. I'm currently working on a long running original story, so I have no time to write another multi-chapter fic. Also, I was working on the long delayed second chapter, when I just lost all inspiration. I really don't think it's going to work out like I thought it was. I'm currently taking a break from my original work of fiction though, so I will work on this in the mean time. I recently finished 'The Second Raid', so I'm a little high on 'FMP!' at the moment. This one here will be about 2-3 chapters depending on how long my break is. Let's begin.

-Kouji Tamino

P.S. Kudos to those who can guess which classic mecha series intertwined with romantic comedy and slapstick had an episode with the same name as this fic.

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Finding Yourself in a Routine Plot

Situation 1: Kidnap Redux

Kaname Chidori awoke lazily with a yawn, feeling more light headed than usual. Cursing her low blood pressure, she lazily stumbled out of bed and trudged her way to her bathroom. Stripping of her pajamas and undergarments, she enjoyed a nice long, warm shower. The 'Whispered' girl had a feeling that today would be a day like any other, with nothing really special happening at all. She didn't know why, but today just didn't seem like it would be all that great.

After getting dressed, grabbing a quick bite to eat, and doing a last minute check to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, she was off to school. The trip to the train station was complimented with a pleasantly light breeze on that warm summer morning. Closing her eyes and stopping for a moment, she simply let the wind flow through her hair. "Mmm, that feels good."

"Good morning, Chidori." Sousuke Sagara said plainly, suddenly walking up next to his classmate, close friend, and ward. Surprising her, he soon found him on the receiving end of an elbow right to the gut. Gasping as the wind was knocked out of him, a sharp pain ran through his lower torso and he almost doubled over from it. It was amazing how much her hits hurt him sometimes. After coughing and managing to catch his breath, he fleetingly pondered if she had ever considered becoming a professional fighter of some sort before finally speaking again. "That hurt…"

Growling, a vein popped in her forehead as she crossed her arms, still not turning to face him as they continued walking. "It serves you right! You know better than to sneak up on people like that!" Great, her morning had barely begun and her now self-proclaimed bodyguard already had her on edge. She had to admit though, she was quite surprised when just a few months ago she had found out that Sousuke's protection of her was no longer authorized by Mithril. It was all him, which kind of impressed her if she really thought about it. He was protecting her not because of his duty, but because he truly cared… The very idea of it made her blush as she turned briefly to, and she failed to hide it very well. "Anyway", she began, quickly turning away again, "good morning to you as well, Sousuke…"

Catching her cheeks becoming red as two big cherries, Sousuke suddenly became very alarmed. "Chidori, are you all right?" Putting a hand on her forehead, he concluded that she did not have a fever. "Your face has become quite blemished." By this point, her whole face had become red from embarrassment. Of course, this was completely lost on him, and he pressed harder. "I think that it would be wise for you to refrain from going to school today. I once had a comrade who continued to work and strain himself while sick, and it became his downfall in battle."

Grunting, Kaname pushed the boy away from her. "Just stop it, okay? I just need some space, okay?" Calming down, she smiled at her bodyguard and… precious friend. "Thank you for being worried, but I'm fine. Okay, Sousuke?"

Nodding, the Mithril SRT member stood at attention. "Understood." He was quite puzzled, however, when the girl he had sworn to always protect began laughing. "Um…" Shutting his mouth, he decided that he was better off not knowing. Besides… he found that the sight of her laughing and smiling was… quite lovely.

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After arriving at school, Kaname and Sousuke were soon spotted by the former's best friend Kyoko Tokiwa. "Good morning, Kana! Morning, Sousuke!" she greeted cheerfully while running up to them. Eyeing the two suspiciously, she gave the two a devious grin. "…and why are you two coming to school at the same time?" It wasn't very often that Sousuke arrive on time at school, much less with Kaname. Had something good happened between the two of them last night? Giggling subtly, she watched in delight as blushes appeared on the faces of both of them. "Ah ha, something did happen, didn't it?" She was greatly enjoying teasing the two of them. If someone didn't push them along, they'd never hook up!

"N-nothing happened, Kyoko!" the dark haired girl assured her friend, waving her hands in front of herself frantically. "Honest!" Why in the world did her friend insist on implying things like that? She swore, if she wasn't setting up bad dates for her, she was doing… this, whatever it was she was attempting.

"Ch-Chidori is correct! Nothing happened last night at all! We simply met each other this morning since I had no prior engagements, " Sousuke shouted, voice quite jittery. In his time spent at Jindai High, he had grown to understand what Tokiwa meant when she egged Chidori on like this. The idea of him and her in… that kind of relationship was not an unpleasant thought, but he wasn't sure that she enjoyed the implications of them being… what were the words?… Right, boyfriend and girlfriend. However, he had noticed lately that ever since they returned from Hong Kong, she had been a little less hostile towards him. And although she wouldn't elaborate any further about it, he was sure that she was trying to say something back there. What was it?

Pouting, Kyoko decided to give up… for now, that is. Giggling, she skipped ahead of them to leave the little 'couple' alone. She'd see them get together someday, she swore it. "Okay, whatever you say! See you two in class!"

As her eccentric friend finally cleared earshot, Kaname exhaled, holding her chest as she caught her breath. "Geez, that Kyoko…" So far, she was correct. This was turning out to be a pretty normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary at all had happened so far. Looking to Sousuke, remnants of a blush still on her face, she smiled. "So, should we get to class?" Daringly, she motioned to his arm, biting her lower lip. Gulping loudly, the heat in her face rising, she gathered her nerve and wrapped her arm around his.

Sgt. Sagara stiffened as the girl curled her arm around his own, her body heat against him as they walked closely together, side by side. It felt nice, he admitted to himself, and he took note that she had rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't know what had gotten into her, but he liked it.

Kaname had no idea what had gotten into herself when she had suddenly decided to latch herself onto Sousuke on their way to class. She rarely got this close to Sousuke, but his body felt firm. She could only imagine how chiseled his well-trained body was. Squealing, she shook her head and mentally chastised her self for even letting such dirty thoughts enter her mind. Bad, bad Kaname! God, when the hell did she become such a pervert? Then again, she was a growing young woman… Looking at his face again, she quickly turned away. A rush of naughty images began to fill her hormone-triggered mind. Screaming, she pushed the boy of her current focus away. "Damn it, knock it off!" she exclaimed, thinking out loud but making it sound like she was talking to Sagara. Groaning, she mentally kicked herself. She had done it again…

Sousuke blinked rapidly, wondering what in the world he had done to upset her this time. He wracked his brain for answers again and again, but it just didn't make sense. Maybe it was something he had done earlier? She did have a bad habit of holding grudges. Regardless of the reason, he found that he was quite regretful of the fact that they were no longer arm and arm. "Chidori… Did I mess up again? If so, I apologize."

Kaname groaned, a guilty expression etched on her face. Why oh why did he have to be like that? She felt like curling up and dying for making poor Sousuke feel bad, especially since he had done nothing wrong so far today! Giving him a reassuring smile, she reached over and pinched his sleeve affectionately. "No, don't worry about it. You did nothing wrong, Sousuke. I was just spazzing out for a moment." Sighing, she looked away in shame. "I'm sorry."

"Spazzing…out?" Sousuke asked, wondering what she exactly meant by that. He had heard his comrades on the Tuatha de Danaan often say the phrase, but he had never really inquired what it meant. At the very least, he was glad that he had not upset Chidori. He had been trying to control his instinct, but doing so was proving quite difficult, especially with Wraith constantly getting his or her jollies off of teasing him with his or her sniper sight. Now that he knew the source of his and Chidori's constant misfortunes and misunderstandings, it was growing quite irritating.

Giggling at her friend and bodyguard's question, she shook her head. He'd never learn, would he? "Never mind. Come on, let's get a move on before we're late!"

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"Good morning, Kazama." Sousuke said, greeting his best male friend at school with a nod as he sat down at his desk.

"Morning, Sousuke." Shinji replied, an excited look on his face. "I just got the newest issue of 'AS Fan', wanna read it?" He had recently gotten his hands on that month's limited edition double issue with gold lettering, a holographic cover, and a bonus free AS figurine and foldout poster. He had already flipped through it a bit, but he had yet to read the whole thing.

"Affirmative." Sousuke said with a bit of excitement evident in his voice. "I have been waiting for that particular issue as well. How were you able to obtain it so early before the street date?"

"Oh, well you see a friend of my dad has some connections, and he…"

Kaname stared at the two boys with a groan, scratching the back of her head. "Well, there those two military nerds go again, with their little morning ritual. I swear, I don't get them at all." Well, she supposed it was only natural for poor Sousuke, having known only fighting for as long as he could remember and all.

She watched idly as Shinji reached into his bag for the magazine, only to accidentally knock out a case of some sort. Raising an eyebrow, she glared as he panicked and suddenly picked it up, attempting to hide it away but finding that he was unable to due to being so uncoordinated in his terrified state. Holding her hand out, she spoke sternly. "Kazama, hand it over." As the poor boy shakily presented her with the case, she fell into a state of shock as she realized it was a game of the… naughty sort. The cover image was that of a young and… healthy looking young woman who was as naked as the day she was born, her assets covered up her hands. Blue hair cascading down her back as she lie on a bed with pink sheets, she wore a vulnerable look on her face as a pair of dark hands spread her creamy white legs wide, the area between them thankfully obscured by the game's title logo, the letters reading 'PICK YOUR BITCH' in big bold English with smaller katakana underneath. The class representative of Jindai Municipal High School's Class 2 of Block 4 could not have been more offended at that moment if you tried. Struggling with all her might to restrain her boiling and unforgiving rage, she spoke through tightly gritted teeth. "Shinji, I'm in a good mood today, so I am giving you to the count of 10 to get that filth of my sight… 1...2...3..."

Screaming frantically, Shinji reluctantly grabbed the game from Kaname's shaking hands, shoved it back into his bag, and absentmindedly tossed everything out the window. Sighing in relief that he was no longer in danger of ending up on the receiving end of one of the magnificent attacks often performed on Sousuke, he soon realized his error. "OHMYGOD!" he screamed, dashing out of the classroom to retrieve his things.

Sousuke, not knowing his peril while in the presence of a still extremely pissed off Kaname, stood up and complimented her on her self-restraint. Thus, he soon found himself in the middle of a pile driver. He had no idea how he got there, or when she found enough time to set it up. All he knew was that he was in for a world of hurt. Grunting loudly as his head was driven into the classroom floor, he was certain that if even for a brief moment, he could hear the sound of a ring bell…

Wincing as she and several other classmates witnessed the act, Kyoko gave Sousuke a sympathetic look. He had been doing so good, too. Sometimes it just paid to keep your mouth shut. "Oooh, poor guy… Excellent execution though, Kaname!" A good portion of the class fell over in disbelief over her second comment.

"Sagara!" a loud, fierce voice shouted, bursting into the classroom unannounced. "You coward! You skipped out on another of my challenges!" The voice belonged to one Issei Tsubaki. Initially arriving with a scowl on his face, he soon began laughing out loud at the current state of his rival. "Wow, Sagara! You got beaten up by a girl? I thought better of you, man."

Kaname, a bit calmer now but still a little on edge, tossed a deadly look to the martial artist as she stood up. She was not in the mood for any nonsense between him and Sousuke at the moment. "You want some too, 'kung-fu boy'?!" Growling, she threw a few fists as a bit of a warning. "Nobody mess with me right now, 'cuz I'm not in the mood!" Her eyebrow twitched a bit as everyone edged a bit away from her, including a recovered undercover mercenary.

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"Oh man, what a day…" Kaname muttered, the final school bell having already rung. She and Sousuke were on their way home, a bit of awkwardness between the two still left over from that morning. She felt a little bad about how she treated him, so she gave him a soft expression. "I'm sorry for earlier… It wasn't any of your fault at all." Passing by an ice cream parlor, she came up with an idea. "Oh, I know! I'll make it up to you! Want some ice cream?" Searching her bag, she checked for some money so she could treat both him and herself. Frowning, she slumped her shoulders in disappointment. "Damn, looks like I left my extra cash at home." She could have sworn she grabbed it before she left for school that morning. Her 'last minute check' wasn't as thorough as she thought it was, she supposed.

"Not a problem, Chidori." Sousuke replied, taking out his own wallet. "I'll pay for the both of us." He could tell that Kaname had a somewhat bad day, so he wanted to make it up to her. At lunch, he almost caused yet another disturbance when he mistook someone's PSP playing a movie about terrorists for a video transmission from real terrorists to their undercover ally. Needless to say, Chidori now owed someone a new handheld. Then, he accidentally attacked the substitute teacher because he resembled a man he once fought in Helmajistan. Thanks to Hayashimizu, he managed to get off with cleaning duty after school every day for the next week. Both boys agreed that the punishment was much too harsh. What's to say that a terrorist wasn't trying to infiltrate the school?

"Are you sure?" Kaname asked, a hesitant look on her face. She just didn't trust him going into a public place without causing a riot of some sort. Maybe she should go in with him…

"Of course. Now please, wait right here and I shall return with our refreshments." Entering the store, he left an exasperated girl behind, wondering whether or not she should follow him in to make sure he didn't kill anyone.

Unfortunately, Kaname didn't get the chance, for several boys from another school passed by, giving her some very unwanted attention. There seemed to be about 6 of them, and they all looked like they came straight out of a Japanese high school gang drama. Glaring at them dangerously as they looked her up and down, she put her hands at her waist. She seriously did not feel like dealing with any more crap today. "Just what do you losers think you are doing?" she spat, curving her lips into a frown.

"Hey, lighten up!" one of them said, tugging at her skirt. "We just wanna show you a good time!"

"Thanks, but no thanks!" she shouted, yanking herself away from him with a tinge of disgust. "Now you guys had better beat it, now!" She knew there was something wrong about these guys. She was starting to become really uncomfortable, and she really hoped Sousuke showed up pretty soon. Not that she couldn't stand up for herself, she just feared what she might do if she had to take care of the problem…

"Or what?" another boy taunted, calling her bluff. He wasn't scared of a girl. What the hell was she going to do, anyway? He placed his hands on her arms only to get bitten. "Ow! You bitch!"

"I believe Chidori told you guys to 'beat it'… I would advise heeding her warning." Sousuke, while in line, witnessed what was going on through the window. Needless to say, he didn't like it. The ice cream could wait, for he was about to teach them what it meant to mess with Kaname on his watch… Which just happened to be all the time, unfortunately for them.

Just then, as he was reaching for a non-lethal but nonetheless painful weapon, he heard a loud screeching noise. He didn't have time to even jumped out of the way when a van barreled into him, sending him rolling across it and onto the street behind the vehicle. He lay almost motionless on the ground, save for some breathing. The van was driven by another guy from the same school as the other punks.

"Oh my god, Sousuke!" Kaname screamed, fearing for her friend's life. Sure, he was a trained soldier, and sure he had been in more perilous situations, but it was still a shock to see something like that happen to someone she cared about. Growling, she head butted a guy in the chin behind her and jumped up, kneeing the guy in front of her. As another thug attempted to grab her from the back, she grabbed his arm and tossed him over her shoulder. Just as she was preparing to turn around and take care of another attacker, she felt a sudden painful jolt through her body, making her shake violently. She fell to the ground, unconscious, her pursuers looking on with grins on their faces as their classmate put his stun gun he had hidden away back in place. Right before she lost consciousness, she thought to herself 'Oh god damn it. Not again…'

"Geez, she sure gave us some trouble, didn't she?" one guy grunted, picking Kaname up and tossing her over his shoulder. "Too bad we'll have to drug her up… Seems like she'd be a beast in bed while fully awake, huh?" Chuckling, he and cohorts hopped into the van with perverse thoughts filling their heads involving their newest catch. "Looks like we can chalk up another trophy girl for the Fuwasaki High Wild Warriors!" The depraved hoodlums drove off, leaving Sousuke for dead.

To Be Continued…

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Hmm, the ending was a bit rough, but I'm pretty satisfied with the rest, considering this is simply a side work. Later.