It was a chilly October night as Farlan Church stood outside the dive bar smoking. He'd stepped outside to calm his nerves before he and his band performed. He wasn't usually a nervous performer, but tonight he was going to be singing in addition to playing bass because their band's singer bailed at the last moment. Fucking asshole, he's putting us in such an awful position, Farlan silently seethed, taking long drags of his cigarette. We told him about this weeks ago. He has no excuse to ditch us.
He watched as a guy and a girl approached the bar. The girl was pretty enough. She carried herself confidently and had a bounce in her step. The guy was definitely a dark kind of attractive with inky black hair and a "take no shit" aura.
"Tch, fucking smoker," the black-haired guy sneered under his breath as he and his friend approached him.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Farlan said, voice dangerous as he glared at the guy.
"Smoking's disgusting. Way to be considerate of yourself and others, douchebag," the man said, glaring right back at him. Who the hell does this guy think he is, Farlan thought indignantly.
"Do you want a fight, asshole?" he asked.
"No, no! No fighting, please!" The petite ginger girl got in between the two. She nervously smiled up at Farlan as she put a hand on the her friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry about him. He doesn't mean any of that. He just gets a little anxious before performing," she told him. He's not worth it, Farlan, his conscious told him
"Whatever," Farlan replied, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Just stay out of my way."
"Oh, he will! We both will!" she said hurriedly. "Bye!" The two hadn't taken two steps away from him before the ginger girl started tearing into the guy, berating him for "trying to pick a fight." What a bunch of freaks, Farlan thought. That girl's so far out of her element. She's literally a rainbow in the pits of hell. He's a shitty friend for dragging her out here.
"Farlan, we're on in fifteen," his drummer Vera told him as she poked her head out of the bar's back door. He sighed and put out his cigarette, flinging it onto the ground. He followed her back inside the dingy, overcrowded bar to get ready for their show.
Despite the fact their singer ditched them, the gig went very well. The crowd cheered, he got catcalled a few times, and from what he gauged the audience adored them. We better get a good bonus or some shit, he thought as he helped Vera pack her drum set into the back of her van. This show was too fucking stressful.
"Hey Vera, did you or Janelle grab our paycheck?" he asked.
"No, I didn't and I don't think she did," she replied.
"All right, I'll go and get it." He left Vera alone at the van and went back inside the bar. The music was loud and pretty damn good from what he could hear. That singer's fucking good, he thought. I wouldn't mind having him in our band. He looked over to the stage to see the performers and his stomach sank to the floor. Well I'll be damned. The ginger girl and the black-haired man from earlier were on stage with a few other guys. Shit, that guy can fucking sing, he thought in amazement, watching him. Not to mention he knows how to work the crowd, he added, eyes shifting down to the guy's gyrating hips. We could use a guy like him on vocals for our band. Farlan quickly got his paycheck before sitting down backstage, watching the punks finish up their five song set. The wheels in his mind were turning rapidly, trying to figure out how to get this guy as a singer for his band.
The crowd was screaming when the band finished. Farlan weakly congratulated three of them on a job well done but didn't get in their way as they carried out their instruments. The ginger girl and the black-haired guy were the last to leave the stage, carrying amps and other miscellaneous equipment.
"Hey, you need help there?" Farlan asked the ginger girl, shooting up out of his chair to help her.
"Oh no, it's fine!" she waved away his help.
"Really, I don't mind helping!" He was cheerful with her but silently he surveyed the guy, who didn't look too happy about Farlan offering to help the girl out.
"If you're sure," she shrugged, letting him grab one of the amps from her. "Thank you!"
"It's no problem at all," he waved away her concern. "I say you guys perform, you did a really good job."
"Oh, thank you!" she smiled cheerfully at him. "We saw your band's set too. You have a really great voice!"
"Thanks," he tried to make his grin at her as genuine as possible, since it was becoming more and more obvious that the black-haired guy didn't like him talking to the girl.
"Your voice would be better if you didn't fucking smoke," the man piped up, giving Farlan a dirty look.
"Can you not?!" the girl turned to him sharply. "I'm sorry, he's not usually this cranky," she told Farlan with an apologetic look on her face.
"It's fine. I get it," he shrugged. "I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I was stressed and just snapped. I'm not that mean, I promise." The girl laughed but the guy seemed unconvinced. This isn't going the way I thought it'd go. I need to change course and do it quickly. "I'm Farlan, by the way."
"I'm Petra," she replied brightly. Her bright demeanor was gone in seconds as she looked expectantly at the black-haired man, who simply sighed.
"And I'm Levi," he begrudgingly introduced himself.
"How's Farlan doing?"
"He's being flitting around stable and unstable ever since he got here. We're keeping him for a few nights and doing what we can to make him stable."
"What about the girl that came in with him?"
"She had minimal burns, easily treated. She's getting checked out for any other injuries right now."
"And what about the guy? I heard some of the other nurses say a guy was brought with them too. The girl says he tried to save her and Farlan."
"Oh, him? He was DOA. The ambulance crew tried to resuscitate him but with a head injury like that it was a miracle he didn't die instantly."
Dark, heavy piano notes swirled through the apartment like snow flurries. Farlan sat in the living room, trying to fix the wobbly leg of the kitchen table. He smirked at the music and got up, traversing to his and Levi's music room. Three years had passed since they had first met and while the first few months of knowing each other were rocky, what followed had been utterly wonderful. Levi sat at the keyboard, blank sheet music and a pencil rest on the top of the instrument.
"Still working on that piece?" Farlan asked, pulling up a chair and sitting beside him.
"Of course I am. The rest of the song is done except for this. I'm not going to let it go unfinished," Levi replied.
"Maybe you could play the bass part but a few octaves up," Farlan suggested.
"The bass part is too plain. I need to embellish the song," Levi argued.
"How about you try this?" Farlan randomly pressed on a few keys. The sharp clang of the dissonant chords made both of them cringe.
"I think you should stick to playing bass," Levi said with a slight smirk, lifting Farlan's hands off of the keyboard. He laughed and grabbed Levi's hand.
"I think I should too," he agreed with a smile. The room was peaceful as Farlan sat there, looking back at his boyfriend. Something inside him clicked. Despite the rough beginning they had, Farlan couldn't see himself with anybody else. Nobody understood him like Levi and no one understood Levi like him. I think he's the one.
"Miss, please come back here!"
"Hell no! You've been keeping me from my friends for the past day and I want to know how they're doing!"
"Miss Magnolia, I insist you go back to your room."
"No! Not until I know that my friends are okay!"
A sigh.
"We don't know if Mr. Church will make it. We've tried stabilizing him but we aren't sure if he'll make it. He's already given us enough scares already. We just don't know if he'll live."
"I-I see. What about Levi? Where is he?"
" . . . I'm sorry, Miss Magnolia, but Mr. Ackerman didn't make it."
"How many more fucking stores do we have to go to?" Levi grumbled, looking at the shops in disdain. It was a bitterly cold December night as he and Farlan walked around downtown Mitras Christmas shopping.
"Just two more and then we can go have dinner," Farlan told him. Levi sighed, clearly displeased, but said nothing. "Come on. We need to get something good for your sister and my mom."
"My sister doesn't like anything," Levi sighed. "Trying to get a gift for Mikasa is like trying to nail water to a tree."
"I'm sure we'll find a good present," Farlan said optimistically. "Otherwise we can just get her a gift card, or something." Levi shrugged but didn't argue with him. As they got closer to the mouth of an alley, Farlan could see a small redheaded girl sitting near a garbage can. Her clothes were soaked and too thin for the freezing, snowy weather. She couldn't have been more than ten years old. Poor girl. She shouldn't be out here, Farlan thought. Levi let go of his boyfriend's hand and walked over to the girl kneeling in front of her. God damn it Levi, what're you doing now?
"What's your name?" Levi asked the girl as Farlan walked over to the two of them.
"Isabel," she told him.
"How come you're out here? Are you homeless?" Levi asked. She nodded.
"My mom had the wrong kind of friends. She made them mad and they shot her," she explained. "I've been living in this alley since then." Either she was a very convincing actress or she was telling the truth. Do I want to take the chance? If she really is homeless she could be dead by morning.
"Isabel, we were just about to go have dinner. Would you like to come with us?" Levi inquired.
"You'd let me come with you?" she asked, her green eyes the size of the moon in amazement.
"We can't let you starve out here," he replied. "Come on, get up. Let's go get some food." She stood up eagerly and tried to brush the dirt off her wet clothes. She needs something dry on her, Farlan thought. I never thought I'd actually do this. . .
"Here, wear this. You look like you're about to freeze to death," Farlan said, pulling his jacket off and handing it to her. It was far too big for her, but it'd keep her warm nonetheless. Did we just adopt a kid, Farlan wondered as the three of them walked down the street and into a new chapter of their lives.
"Oi, wake up, Farlan." Fluorescent lights burned his eyes as he woke up. The walls were an awkward off-white color and on either side of his equally drab bed were Isabel and Levi. Levi looked perfectly fine but Isabel had bandages around her arms and her hair was in a pixie cut. Unlike Levi, she looked almost transparent, as if she wasn't really there.
"Shit, am I in the hospital?" he inquired, gingerly rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Burns ran up and down his arms and covered his palms and the pads of his fingers. "What happened?"
"There was a fire in our apartment building," Levi explained. "We got caught in the middle of it. Isabel was able to get out alive but I didn't manage to make it." The memories slowly trickled into his mind. The last thing he remember was Levi pushing him and Isabel out of the way of a falling beam. Farlan's throat felt like it was closing in as he recalled watching the beam crush Levi, pinning him to the ground.
"What're you saying?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
"I'm saying I'm dead and if you don't fight harder, you're going to end up dead too," Levi told him bluntly.
"Why should I? Why should I keep fighting? You're gone and these burns look like they're severe. Why should I fight this when it's clear I'm not going to live?"
"You have no idea if you're going to die or not. You're just assuming you will and we both know you aren't always right, even though you like to act like it," Levi said "You can give up like you always do and die. Or you can wake up and fight to live another day."
Why should wake up, Farlan thought, leaning back onto the fluffy pillows. Levi's dead. Even if I wake up there's no chance I'll live, I could die from these injuries after I wake up. And then I'll just be pushing back the inevitable and I'll have to live in worry. I can just stay like this and stay with Levi.
But Farlan's eyes shifted over to Izzy. Who's going to take care of Isabel if Levi and I are gone? She's too young to take care of herself. I can't leave her on her own. He inhaled deeply, looking back to his boyfriend. Levi got himself killed trying to protect us. If I die, Levi will have died in vain. I'm not ready to let him go, but I can't let his death mean nothing. And I can't leave Isabel all by herself.
"I'm not ready to leave you," Farlan told him, trying to ignore the dry ache running through his throat. "But Isabel, she needs someone to take care of her."
"She does," Levi agreed. "We'll see each other again eventually, Farlan. This isn't the last time we'll see each other."
"I know, but it'll be years before I see you again and I don't know if I can do that," he said, trying to keep himself together.
"That's bullshit and you know it. You can do anything you want to," Levi said, a ghost of a smirk on his face. "You don't have a lot of time left. If you're going to wake, you need to do it now."
"But I'm not ready," Farlan protested.
"I know you're not and I'm not ready for this either. But you have to take a leap of faith, Farlan. Just this once." Farlan's eyes felt like they were burning and his throat hurt as he bit back tears. Just wake up, he told himself, his hand reaching for Isabel's. She needs you. Don't let Levi's death mean nothing.
Farlan opened his eyes, Isabel by his bedside. She was passed out, her head resting on his nightstand as she slept. Typical Izzy, he thought. His eyes glided over to his right, half-expecting to see Levi sitting there alive and well. But the chair was empty.
"Isabel, wake up," he announced, turning back to his friend. Her eyes shot open at the sound of his voice. A smile broke out on her face as she saw him awake.
"Farlan, you're alive!" she cried, ruffling his hair. He chuckled weakly.
"Yeah, I guess I am," he replied.