Mei: Here is my first attempt at a completely serious fic. No comedy, just plain old angsty romance ) It's also my second attempt at a songfic… But it's definitely not my first shounen ai! ) I've edited out the song, since it was originally a songfic. I was told somewhere that no longer allows you to use songs or any material you didn't write yourself. I have no idea how true this is, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

:Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade – that belongs to Takao Aoki Me no own nothing… except maybe idea. So don't sue!

:Warning: This contains shounen ai (yaoi – boy/boy romance etc.) So if you don't like it then click that button on there. You know, the one that says "back"? That one. If you do like it, then you can read! And leave a review, preferably…

Fallen Phoenix:

Chapter One: Take Me Away

The rain fell softly, splashing lightly on the dark gray street. It was an empty street, even during the day, and the darkness of night only intensified the feeling of solitude. The street was deserted, small and lonely. Graffiti littered the walls of the old brick buildings, but it was old and worn – obviously painted years ago, perhaps when the street was still in use.

The buildings were small and run down; there was no evidence that this street had seen better, busier days. It was a tired, weary and lonesome street, detached from the rest of the city, broken, dark and cold.

In a twisted way, it was only fitting that he had hidden here. Run away from the place he had called home for the better part of his life, and locked himself in the dirty abandoned brick warehouse that lay at the edge of this street.

The street was a lot like him, dark, lonely and cold. He couldn't remember how long he had been here, huddled in the corner of the old building, between long forgotten boxes and crates in a small dusty corner. It felt like an eternity, although he knew it couldn't have been that long.

His thoughts made little sense in his weary mind. Maybe he'd taken one too many blows to the head. They were a confusing mass of forbidden emotions, fragmented memories and shards of what he thought was reality.

"You're worthless!"

He remembered the words, he remembered the pain that came with them, but it was small and insignificant compared to the words. For the longest time he had rebelled against the idea of believing them, although subconsciously he knew it was true.

Why wouldn't it be true? No one, to his memory, had ever told him otherwise, but then his memory was shattered, and he was still picking up the pieces. Maybe it was brain damage. He should have kept his mouth shut.

Should have. His life was full of should haves, it was like a curse, doomed to make the wrong decisions, always wrong.

"You never do anything right!"

The words stung. They say the truth hurts, he thought bitterly, he wanted to cry but he didn't. Somehow, a stubborn sense of pride was left in his beaten, broken body. Refusing to allow any tears to fall.

Besides, he thought dryly, it would smudge my face paint. But then, the triangles were already smudged, the rain had done that for him.

The boy had a sudden urge to laugh, hysterically, if only the others could see him now, the Mighty Kai, reduced to curling up in a pathetic ball between two large, dusty, mothball-ridden crates. What would they say?

But he couldn't laugh, his throat ached, and it was painful just to breathe. No, laughing would not be a good idea. Running had not been a good idea. His lungs had screamed, tearing apart his throat as he gasped for air, the wind whipping his silvery-azure hair into his face, stinging. Even now, hours later, breathing hurt.

The teenager dimly registered in the back of his mind that he couldn't stay here. In this warehouse, on this street. He would either have to go back – back to his grandfather, for another, inevitable punishment… but he deserved it, didn't he?

"No one deserves that, Kai."

That was what they had said. That was what Tyson had said. They'd pulled him from the lake, after he'd betrayed them. He'd asked why, they'd said it was because he was their friend.

Why was he their friend? No, he wasn't – he remembered…

"Chief! How could you choose Kai over Max?" (1)

How could he choose Kai? Kai wasn't their friend, Max was. Kai didn't deserve to fight in the final round, Max did. Wasn't that what he was saying? Or was that just what Kai had heard? His thoughts were becoming harder and harder to comprehend.

"We're waiting for our fifth wheel, of course!"

Fifth wheel. An extra wheel. Unnecessary. Useless. Who had said that? It hadn't bothered him at the time – that person was always saying things like that…

He didn't mean it like that, it wasn't his fault Kai heard it like that.

He was here. What was Kinomiya doing here? In the abbey? Why had he come? Why did he care? He still wanted him back, after he had stolen the All Stars bit beasts? Kai didn't believe it.

But he should have. It was proven to him, on the ice of the frozen lake. When he lost. Lost with the one blade that should have been perfect. Shouldn't have lost. Should have won. Should have…

They still helped him. He remembered… He was their friend… wasn't he?

"Friends are useless! Emotions, friends, they are all weak! Forget them."

He remembered those words, and the punishment that came along with it after he returned home from the world championships. His betrayal had not been taken well. His grandfather wasn't forgiving… not like Tyson.

Tyson forgave him.

"No one deserves that, Kai."

Why? Was it pity? Did they pity him? Did Tyson pity him? Growing up in the dark, cold abbey, raised to be a perfect warrior, trained not to show emotion. He remembered what Max's father had said.

"Poor messed up kid."

Is that what they thought of him? Poor messed up Kai, Biovolt's twisted little lab rat. Voltaire's tool for world domination.

"You are pathetic."

He was pathetic. Sitting here huddled in the corner of some wretched old building, wallowing in his self-pity. He shouldn't be here, he should get up, he should go somewhere, he should be stronger than this… So many shoulds… So many should haves…

"You never do anything right…"

He pulled his bruised body up off the floor. He couldn't stay here, it would drive him insane… Was he already insane? Sanity is such a fragile thing… No! Must stay focused… Concentrate…

"Fool boy! You're not concentrating! How do you expect to win if your head is in the clouds?"

At the abbey, you were punished if you lost… He must not lose… But where was the battle? In his head? A much harder battle to win… Focus… Must leave the warehouse. Must go… Go where? He could see it in his mind, but the actual understanding of where and what that place was eluded him…

He knew how to get there… He just had to leave this abandoned building. It wasn't such a hard thing to do… One step. Two, three, four, five… He was at the doorway. It was raining outside, he could see that. Such pretty rain, so hard to see in the moonlight.

He was getting wet now, soaked to the bone. But he didn't care, he couldn't feel it. So numb… So cold… Darkness… Like Russia, cold, dark, lonely… Focus! Can't think about things like that… It is not important… Irrelevant… But isn't that why… ?

If he kept walking, he would eventually get there. It was by the beach, the place he was looking for. He could almost see it… Almost… So foggy…

BEEP!

The teenager's burgundy eyes widened, and he gave a startled jump as the car flew past him, missing him by an inch and splattering more rainwater into his face. For a while he stood their in shock, trying to comprehend where the car had come from and why it was… Oh… He was standing in the middle of a road.

The road! He recognized this road… And at the same time, he didn't… It was something he'd seen a dozen times and had never seen at all. He'd never payed attention to this road before, but it was always there… Kind of like…

If he followed the pathway he would come to the bridge, it goes across the river, and the riverbank is the place he met the midnight-haired angel. Tyson. He remembered meeting Tyson… So long ago… Wasn't it? Two years? Was that a long time? Maybe…

"Hey! Who do you think you are? Some kind of tough guy?"

"The name's Kai."

"Oh yeah Kai? Well I challenge you to a beybattle!"

So shocked when he lost. Silly rookie kid. As if he could have beaten Kai. But he did, didn't he? Learned so fast… World champion… Not Kai, Tyson… But he didn't mind. His grandfather did…

"You're a disappointment! A failure! I'm ashamed to have you as my grandson!"

Focus! Must get to where he was going. Worry about memories later… Later… Is there a later?

There! There it was. The place he'd been looking for… He could see it, now. Been there so many times before… But always invited first… Yes, can never go there without being invited… Didn't deserve to…

"Do you know how much you hurt me when you left?"

Hurt him… Was always hurting people… Was a bad person, yes… Didn't deserve…

"No one deserves that, Kai."

No one? Not even him? So confused… Maybe the angel could help him… But wasn't invited… Can't ask… Don't deserve his help… Don't…

The sixteen-year-old stopped in front of the dojo's door. His hand paused in mid-air while his barely conscious mind debated whether to knock. Why was he going to Tyson for help? Would Tyson even understand… But his angel always understood…

He didn't have to decide however, because the door swung open of it's own accord… Or rather, that of the blue-haired blader who had opened it. He was hauling a large black garbage bag and grumbling.

"Yeah, yeah, Grandpa, I'll take it – Kai!" his stormy gray eyes widened in shock, "What are you doing here? Are you alright?" he surveyed his friend's broken form worriedly.

The older teen was too dazed to answer. He had made it… All the way across Bay City to see his angel… Why did he suddenly want to run? Couldn't be seen… Not like this… So weak…

"You are pathetic."

Kai backed away, looking like he was ready to turn and run, Tyson grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving, "What happened, Kai? Are you okay? Tell me what's wrong," he gave Kai a pleading look.

So worried… Worried about him… Shouldn't be worried… Shouldn't worry him… Can't…

"Fine," he whispered, wincing slightly at how hoarse and choked his voice sounded, "I'm fine…"

"You don't look fine," said Tyson, "Please tell me… I care so much about you."

"Why?" came the barely audible reply. Tyson was startled for a moment to see those crimson eyes glistening with unshed tears. Or maybe he was already crying? Tyson couldn't tell from the rain. It had washed away most of his face paint… Somehow he looked more vulnerable.

"Why?" Kai asked again, "Why do you care?"

Tyson was in shock at that question, "You're my friend Kai, of course I care about you."

He was Tyson's friend… After all that… Why wasn't he satisfied? Should be happy… Should be… Should have… Wanted to be something more… More than a friend… Never would be… Hurt so much… So confusing…

Everything was getting dark… Could see Tyson, saying something… Looked so upset… Didn't want the stormy-eyed angel to be upset… Falling…

"Kai!" cried Tyson as the elder boy collapsed. He moved forward to catch the Phoenix, cradling him in his arms. What happened to you Kai?

Mei: I know that chapter didn't make much sense… but that's because I had to torture Kai! ) Next chapter will explain everything, me promises, okay?

Tyson: You hurt my koibito! I kill you now!

Mei: Whoa! Calm down Tyson, it was just a fanfic:backs away from pissed off Tyson:

Kai: :sighs: Please review… I guess.