Sleep was not something that had been coming readily to Draco these days. How could he sleep with everything going on? His home wasn't his home any more. The screams that came up from the cellar didn't help. He knew the people that were down there. He wasn't able to tell exactly who was screaming when they did, but it was always someone he knew. The thought turned his stomach and made him ill at ease. The screams lingered in the air even when there were none to be heard. If it wasn't the screams that haunted him, it was the image of Professor Burbage as she hung upside down begging for her life. It had been several months since she had been killed, and the image still preyed upon his mind.
It didn't help that he and his family were hanging on by a thread. He didn't know how much longer things would last. It left him with a growing pit in his stomach as he quietly wandered the corridors of the Malfoy Manor. His only solace at this point was that the Dark Lord was elsewhere. He didn't know nor care what he was doing so long as he wasn't there. The small freedom meant there was room to breathe just a little bit easier, just not easy enough though. He let out a shallow sigh as his feet found their way to the kitchens. He hadn't thought about where he was going and was honestly quite surprised to be there. Maybe he was hungry without realizing it? He didn't exactly feel hungry despite how little he had been eating. There was little he felt able to stomach.
Still because he was there he poked around, but the kitchens were fairly empty. Then, he saw it. Sitting there on a shelf all alone was a bright green apple. Draco stared at the piece of fruit, frozen by the sight of it. An apple. How long had it been since he had eaten one? He tried to think back to when that was and he couldn't remember. It used to be that he had an apple every day. There was something about the green fruit that appealed to him so, sweet and tart at the same time. Some people preferred the red ones, but they were flat and flavorless; he only liked the green ones. Green had a sharp taste that just exploded in his mouth. Then there was the crunch as he bit into the soft yet firm skin, unlike some red apples, which were too soft. He never had a bad green apple. Why had he ever stopped eating them?
He tried to answer the question, but the conclusion did not make him feel better. He knew why: he had gotten too busy. He had been focused on killing Dumbledore, on saving his life, on saving his family. The memories swirled around him for a moment as a bit of bile rose in his throat. It was odd to think that while horrible, life back then had been rather simple compared to now. It was odd that he would be willing to go back to that horrid time at Hogwarts looking for a way to kill Dumbledore. However, then there had been no blood on his hands. He never explicitly cast a spell or participated directly, but he had a hand in things. He led everyone into Hogwarts, and then let Snape do the deed for him. He stood by as one of his professors was killed before him. He had done nothing. What was it he could have done?
Nothing. He could do nothing and that is exactly what he did. Draco sneered at himself and the thoughts that were running in his head. Inaction was both his victory and his sin at the same time. He was both guilty and innocent and it did not do to dwell. He needed to stop moping. In a snap decision, Draco seized the apple. The crisp sound of it bit into the silence as the fruit crunched in his mouth. Juice filled his mouth, and the bright flavor danced over his tongue, but it didn't hold the same luster as it once did.
Still, Draco closed his eyes and wished with all his heart that the apple had some sort of magic to it. Maybe there was something of a Time Turner to it. That with each chew he would be taken back in time to when the world was simpler, back to when he cherished the sweet yet tart taste and his biggest issue was Granger beating him in class. Yet as he opened his eyes again, he found himself unmoved and the world ever the same, save for the apple, which bore the mark of his bite. He looked down at it with a frown. It had been fool's wish. This was also the first time he had been disappointed in his favorite food.
"We've got Potter! We've captured Harry Potter!" *
No! It couldn't be! Draco looked to the direction of commotion knowing that soon whoever it was would be inside and it if was – Draco wasn't sure what to think any more. He left the apple behind sitting alone on the counter in the dim light, marred by him just like so many other things in his life.
*Quote from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, written by JK Rowling, page 455, American Hardback first edition.