Title: Behind Castle Walls, the Dungeon Hath Keep

Writer(s): Yaoi's Consort and Seraphina Greene

Summary: AU. Prince Baljeet has Sir Buford, the man he craves, in his dungeon. When Lord Phineas tries to free him, Baljeet's hired assassin is allowed to have him. Could conquest become more than lust?

Rating: M

Pairings: Buford/Baljeet (Baljeet is very dominant in this fic, except when it comes to lemonnyness. Then, he always bottoms. *Evil grin*), Ferb/Phineas, implied Isabella/Candace, possible Vanessa/Candace, possible Doofensmirtz/Perry

Genre: Romance

Warnings: First warning: YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ THIS WHOLE LIST. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE, PLEASE BE WARNED. WE DON'T DO ANYTHING SUBTLE. IF IT'S ON HERE, IT'S ON HERE BIG TIME. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. FLAMES WILL BE USED FOR PERSONAL LAUGHS AND EVEN MORE INSANE CHAPTERS! Yaoi (yuppers, let's start with the basics. BoyxBoy love, people, deal with it), step-brother incest (okay, I don't see what the big deal is here, people. Phineas and Ferb are not blood relatives, therefore, it is not incest. They think of themselves as best friends, not brothers, even though they often refer to each other as 'bro.'), disturbingly violent and gruesome scenes (yeah, I was pretty sure for quite some time that our story wouldn't have anything like this, but about the twentieth chapter, the story ran its course…so yes, there will be gruesome details and events, but they only happen in dream form, otherwise there wouldn't be much of a story beyond that point), bondage (and darlings, lots of it. Pretty much through one third of the fic, Buford is in chains, and Phineas is in chains almost as soon as he arrives. Not to mention Ferb thinks it's kinky to put Phineas in cloth bonds for that one scene…yeah, don't want to give too much away), white-leather gloves fetish (oh yeah, BIG one, Baljeet is wearing his smoking-hot sexy white-leather gloves almost constantly. It's a really nice touch and keeps us all on the edge of our horny seats), Lots of citrus fruity goodness, including plenty of oranges (a new term *officially coined* by Seraphina Greene and Yaoi's Consort, referring to smut that is not quite a lime, but definitely needs a definition), a significant amount of limes, as well as some fantastic lemons (it is, after all, rated M, people!), some lovely randomness presented and directed by yours truly, Seraphina Greene and Yaoi's Consort, and, 'not to put too fine a point on it,' as Doof loves to say, all of the following is/was/will happen. This is not, I repeat, NOT a negative feedback loop. This is a POSITIVE feedback loop, and the consequences of not understanding this are unhealthy. You've been warned. A/N: A negative feedback loop is as follows: A reader is reading. Reader is tired, reader sleeps. When reader no longer requires sleep, reader wakes and begins to read again. A positive feedback loop is as follows: An author writes a mind-boggling chapter. Reader reads mind-boggling chapter, and has nightmares. Reader writes a flame. Author reads flame, has idea for even more mind-boggling chapter. Reader reads new more mind-boggling chapter, has nightmares, writes flame, and this inspires another even MORE mind-boggling chapter, and the intensity increases with every time! MUWAAAAA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAAAAAA! END A/N. There are NO implied statements, so EXPECT the awesomeness! *Grins evilly*

Length:

Chapters:

Status: Incomplete

Characters Filed Under: Buford and Baljeet

Dedicated To: Anyone who's ever dared to reach beyond the denial that love is love, including (but not limited to) supporting (or committing, or considering) gay marriage (as well as gay relationships), loving your sexuality, and living as you are, who you are, without bothering to care what others may think.

Chapter 1:

Buford yawned and stretched—or tried to stretch, rather, for it was quite difficult in chains. Chains that were bound to his cell door. In the dungeon. Of Prince Baljeet's castle.

A realization ran through him. "Shit…"

Buford was a knight. Of the enemy. Instead of dying in battle with pride and dignity, he'd been kept alive as their prisoner in shame.

He had no idea what he was up against. He'd heard rumors, but nothing could shock him more than this.

Because as he tried to shift his weight to rid himself of the ache in his thighs, he found that it wasn't just his wrists that were bound, but also his ankles.

The best part was yet to come, however. The only way this could be more awkward (and it was,) would be if he weren't clothed. The thing was, he wasn't.

Prince Baljeet's family had always said that he messed with his prisoners too much, that he almost played with them. They said it should be more about meeting your demands, not toying with them.

If they thought that was bad though, he didn't want to see what they would think of this.

The others had simply been fun to watch as they begged. There hadn't been really anything to it otherwise. He'd gotten what he wanted in the end. Money, jewels, exotic spices, cloth, or art, perhaps.

But Sir Buford? From him he wanted something more. Much, much more. Even Queen Isabella, who he'd been knighted to protect, wouldn't be able to save him now.

Sir Buford, or just Buford, as he thought seemed to fit him at the moment since he was currently in possession of neither armor nor sword, was in a half-sleep of sorts when he felt someone slip out of the shadows, slide their hand through the bars of his cell, and ghost their gloved hand across his bare, taut chest.

He opened his eyes blearily and gasped softly as he felt those fingers brush against one of his nipples.

"Who—who're—" Buford sputtered, shocked. "Who are you? Come into the light." When the unseen stranger stayed where he was, he added gruffly, "Please."

"Well, well, well." The stranger smirked from the darkness, the glint of his eyes and perfectly white teeth all that could be seen. "Someone has finally learned some manners."

When the stranger stepped into the light, Buford felt all of his breath leave his lungs. " 'Jeet. Long time no see." Was all he managed to say before his world turned upside down and everything he thought he knew about his childhood friend uprooted and inverted to stand on its head.

A/N:

Yaoi's Consort (YC): This is Yaoi's Consort, brining you some B2 goodness! This'll be the 1st fic posted even though I have 1 finished and another in progress, but that's because I lost my flash drive. *Sad face*. This story was made in collaboration with Seraphina Greene—

Seraphina Greene (SG): Hiya everybody! *Smiles happily and waves dramatically as if to a crowd of amazed fans*

YC: …Anyways…

SG: 'Anyways' is not a word, Yaoi's Consort…

YC: Who cares?! *Calms Down* Anyway…

SG: *Cuts in* I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this story that I wrote!

YC: I wrote this too! I did all of the nummy scenes!

SG: *Glares heatedly at her*

YC: Oh, fine. Most of them. But it is our story.

SG: Whatever. I did write this chapter, so therefore I made sure that it ever happened at all!

YC: Fine. Next story, I come up with the plot bunnies!

SG: Ah, yes…but the majestic pegacorns belong to none other than moi! *She dramatically waves her hand to refer to herself*

YC: Then I'm queen of the platypi.

SG: NO! NO! NO, no, no. Everyone knows that's wrong. I've actually been to Danville to meet Perry the Platypus. Have you? I think not. It's in the story 'Sera Stops In,' which is—

YC: —On your channel, yeah, yeah, we all know. Now shut up and write.

SG: Write WHAT? We're already done with the—

YC: *She glares critically at her*

SG: —oops…sowwy…besides, if I can't promote myself, who will?

YC: Me, myself and I. Now go make some plot bunnies!

Chapter 2 Promo: Baljeet has a talk with Buford, and things get a little heated up when Baljeet accuses him of not just enjoying the temptation of the enemy, but treason as well. ORANGE AHEAD.