LOVE WILL…RULE THE WORLD?
Disclaimer: Do you think I could maybe own "Harry as a Flea"? And maybe SUSABLP too? They don't belong to JKR… So, mine?
A/N: This is the third fic in the "Rule The World Series" and it's dedicated to all my wonderful readers and reviewers of the first two fics. Thank you so much!
"The flea…got AWAY! How could a flea slip away from you? You are a bunch of capable, evil, dark Death Eaters! SO HOW DID THE BLOODY FLEA GET AWAY?" Voldemort roared at the Death Eaters who were badly bruised while chasing Harry as a Flea (for more information, read "Rule The World, Again?") around Voldemort's lair.
"Sorry, my Lord. It won't ever happen again." Lucius said, bowing lowly down to the ground.
"OF COURSE IT WON'T HAPPEN! How many times do you expect Potter to be TRANSFIGURED INTO A FLEA?"
Voldemort was angry. Very angry. Just this morning, he had woke up to find that his lovely, not to mention furry, pink slippers were missing, and then when he finally managed to capture the Potter kid and transfigured him into a flea, they lost him!
"Umm… One?" A stupid Death Eater, assumed to be Crabbe Senior, said stupidly.
"YES! ONE! ONE CHANCE TO KILL POTTER FINALLY AND YOU LOST THE BLOODY FLEA! He was in a box, for the love of Voldemort!"
Voldemort started pacing again. He was going to kill Potter once and for all. No way was he going to let him go again. He would kill him and then he would…RULE THE WORLD! Bwahahahahahahahaha…
What can possibly help me to kill Potter?
Make him fall in love, and then proceed from there.
Yes! You're brilliant!
Of course, I am you. You ARE brilliant.
"I have decided. We make Potter fall in love! With…" Once again, he paused dramatically. There were whispers among the Death Eaters. Their best bet would have to be the Weasley chick.
"ME!" Lucius promptly fainted, as did Zabini Senior, and Bellatrix as well.
"Don't you see it?" Voldemort asked, not caring that three of his most prized Death Eaters had already fainted, "If Potter is in love with me, I can make him do things that would kill The Order, and even the light side! It's perfect. Brilliant, really." Voldemort concluded.
"And how, my Lord, are we going to do that?" An unknown Death Eater, probably Walden MacNair asked.
"A love potion of course! Get me Severus at once!" Voldemort screamed.
After two weeks of waiting, Snape's Ultra Successful And Brilliant Love Potion (and thereafter known as SUSABLP) was completed.
"My Lord," Snape started, "how is Potter going to consume the potion? Ever since the Flea incident, everyone is keeping a tight watch on him."
"Lucius! Your son, what's his name? Dwight or Dright or something?"
"Draco, my Lord."
"Ah yes! Draco. He's in the same year as Potter, isn't he?" Voldemort looked threateningly at Lucius, as if daring him to say no.
"Yes, my Lord. I assume you want Draco to give the potion to Harry, no?" Lucius bowed again.
"Yes, it's flawless. Nobody would suspect a thing!"
Except the fact that Potter and Dright are enemies…
It's Draco.
Yes, Drake, whatever.
It's Draco, but yeah… Whatever.
"Yes, my Lord. Flawless…" Snape said skeptically.
"I don't want Potter to escape this time. If he escapes, I'll have your lives! Am I understood?!" Lucius and Snape nodded vehemently.
"Hey Potter," Draco said from under the Gryffindor table where he had been for the last hour, even before the people came for dinner.
Harry looked under the table, bewildered. Who would be talking to him under the table?
"Oh, Malfoy." Harry said, conversationally. "What brings you here?"
"To be honest with you Potter, my father asked me to bring SUSABLP to you on Voldemort's orders. Drink it, now." Draco said, smirking the oh-so-sexy Malfoy smirk.
"What's a SUSABLP?" Harry asked.
"Snape's Ultra Successful And Brilliant Love Potion. It's good for your health. Just drink it."
"Oh, okay." Harry replied and downed the potion in one big gulp. "Tastes like hair and strawberries…"
'And now for Part Two of The Operation.' Draco thought evilly.
Draco grabbed hold of Harry's hand and the both of them disapparated to Voldemort's Lair.
POP!
"THEY'RE HERE!" Bellatrix's shout rang through the whole room.
Voldemort rubbed his hands in anticipation, giggling to himself.
"My Lord, I present to you, Harry Potter. The-Boy-Who-Would-Die-Today." Draco said, pushing Harry towards Voldemort.
"Very good, Dright. You shall be rewarded." Draco nodded happily, not even processing the fact that Voldemort had just called him Dright.
Harry was staring at Voldemort like he had just grown a nose. "Your eyes are as red as rose. And look! They gleam too!" Voldemort didn't look so pleased.
"And your face looks so smooth, just like marble. Your teeth are as yellow as a sunflower. Your nose…where isyour nose?" Voldemort's face darkened.
Harry carried on, not noticing any changes in Voldemort's face. "You are so thin! And you look so pale, as white as a skull in fact. Your hands, they're so long. And Merlin! Are those your fingers?"
The Death Eaters were trying hard to contain their laughter. Voldemort looked ready to kill Harry. But he wouldn't. Not now. He wanted to have some fun first.
"So Harry, do you recognize me?" He asked calmly.
"Oh, of course I do. You're Voldie, my one and only true love!" Harry said, twirling around. Draco fainted. It seemed that the Malfoys had a thing for fainting in front of Voldemort.
"Good. And if you want me to love you, what should you do?"
"Love you more!" Harry grinned widely like a Cheshire cat. "Do you need anything? A massage? Or do you want a hug instead?" Harry said as he moved to envelope Voldemort in a big hug.
Voldemort and the Death Eaters blinked a few times, trying to process what had just happened. And then…
"AARGH! GET OFF ME!" Voldemort screamed as he pushed Harry away.
"Ah, your voice is so sexy…" Harry said dreamily.
"Don't come near me." Voldemort said, raising his wand while striking a dramatic pose.
"Oh, I get it. You want a kiss instead! You could have said so!" As soon as he finished, he started walking towards Voldemort.
Voldemort did the only thing he thought of at that moment.
He ran. He ran like a girl who had just saw a cockroach.
He screamed too. All the while Harry was behind him shouting, "You look so gorgeous when you're running, with your black hood flying around like that!"
Finally, Harry caught up with Voldemort and placed a huge kiss on his face. The Death Eaters cringed at that while Voldemort fainted.
The Death Eaters ran over to help Voldemort up that they didn't notice Remus had apparated Harry back to Hogwarts.
The plan had failed. Yet once again.
AN: I love this series! This was pretty fun to write, I hope you guys like it! Read and review please!