How I started at
Disclaimer: This all belongs to J.K. Rowling.
All the characters from Harry Potter are standing around in an empty space.
Harry: where are we?
Hermione: (scratches head) I don't know. Headmaster?
Albus: I don't know either, but don't worry, I'm sure it's all for the Greater Good. (Twinkle)
Harry: What the fuck! You don't know! Do you do anything except twinkle all the bloody fucking time!
Albus smiles, and twinkles some more.
Severus(rolls eyes): Very mature Headmaster.
Hermione: He's not mature, but at least he's not gay!
Ron steps away from Snape very slowly.
Ron: Gross! Snape's a poncy fag!
Snape: Stupidity truly becomes you Weasley.
Ron: (laughing) Who cares? You like cock!
Draco: (smirk) I'm hurt Weasley! You liked cock well enough last night…
Harry, et al: WHAT!
SamHAS: Um, excuse me…
Harry: Who said that!
Ron jumps into Draco's arms and holds on. Sirius and Remus are still snogging behind a tree.
SamHAS: I'm the author, so I'm like, the God here. Name's SamHAS
Everyone groans.
Hermione: Not more parody shit!
Harry: I doubt this could ever be as bad as some of the things other people wrote. So SamHAS, what did you have in mind?
SamHAS: Well, first of all, I want you to be gay most of the time, but when you're not you get her-
Woman appears, winks at Harry, and disappears.
Draco: Do I get one?
SamHAS: Sometimes you'll get her, sometimes you'll have to share. By the way Tom, most of the time you're hot.
Voldermort becomes his 17-yr old self.
Tom: Awesomness.
Albus: What about me?
SamHAS: You'll be the old gay dude.
Albus: Is that for the Greater Good?
SamHAS: Um, sure. Yeah, totally Greater Good.
Albus: Okay
Hermione, Snape, Ron and others: What about us?
SamHAS: I'm working on it!
Thunder and lightning.
All: (Variations of "What the FUCK!)
SamHAS: (sniff) Don't yell at me…
Harry: It's okay, I'm sure they won't any more- isn't that right guys?
All: (Variations of "Of course not/never again/we love you SamHAS)
SamHAS: Thank you. So I'll give you a call for my next fic, right?
Harry: You don't have to wait that long to see me. (winks at SamHAS)
SamHAS: Now that you mention it…
Harry and SamHAS disappear.
THE END
All: Hey, what about us?
A/N: My first official fic, so please be gentle. Haven't written in a long time either. Thanks for reading, and I welcome reasonable review.