Disclaimer: Harry Potter (character, universe, multiverse and co.) does not belong to me.
Self Prompt: Voldemort gets a hubcap for his birthday.
Warning: Excessive use of Capital Letters.
The year was 1996.
The Organization and Community Dedicated to the Preservation, Cultivation and Upbringing of the Weird, Wonderful, Wise and Magical was a distinctly secret organization. They were so secret that no one knew about them, except for the British Dental Association. The only reason that the BDA even knew about the OCDPCUWWWM ("opcum" for short) was because of they're bi-annual meetings for tea and biscuits. What was so particularly special about "opcum" was that they had annual themes that ran through it, influencing the entire rule set and society to the point of total restructuring for the sake of a particular theme. Last year's theme had been Glass, leading to every surface made of glass and the currency they dealt with to be glass and so on and so forth. This year the theme was Celebration.
What was particularly taxing about this theme was that in preparation for it, the whole community had jotted down every holiday obscure and obvious, personal and meaningful, stupid and inane. The intent was the celebrate all of these in the year. It was a little costly which led to the dumbing down of the incredible things planned but it was still a spirit of celebration going strong. The days that weren't marked with a particular holiday or celebration were just UnBirthdays. Concerning Birthdays, it was December 31st (New Years Eve) and a member of "opcum" remembered that it was the Dark Lord Voldemort's birthday that day. He'd quickly spread the word and soon a large number of magical and non-magical people decided to celebrate New Years Eve by giving the Dark Lord Voldemort gifts. They made a pile of all the gifts they had, sorted and wrapped nicely. The whole community sang a Birthday Song over the presents before turning to the "opcum" member who had noticed it was the Dark Lord Voldemort's Birthday and gave him the gracious task of delivering the presents. Once he had left, they resumed New Years Eve celebrations.
At Malfoy Manor, amongst the doom and gloom, a Death Eater Minor Sub Part 2, b (Frick) who was on guard duty, waved a paper flag in celebration before quickly hiding it as Antonin Dolohov walked past. There was a knock at the door to the manor and Frick opened it with Dolohov behind him. A figure in nondescript clothing handed them a note. Frick took it and the figure nodded before vanishing; silence afterwards. The note said on it,
To the Dark Lord Voldemort, with Sincere Greetings and Celebration.
Dolohov snatched the letter off Frick and stalked away. He approached the Dark Lord's room and knocked. A soft "enter" later and Dolohov walked through.
The Dark Lord Voldemort sat at his desk in his war room and looked up as Dolohov walked in. Dolohov handed the note and walked away, taking a Crucio for his rudeness. Voldemort stared at the note and noticed it was actually a really thin envelope. He opened it and a burst of light came from it followed by the largest ensemble of gifts ever. A large Happy Birthday in large letters adorned the space above. After a long time of opening the gifts, the last said,
From Your Biggest Fan
Voldemort opened it and stared in bemusement at the hubcap staring back at him.
Fin