Tsubasa Returns:
Author Note: This fanfic follows the ending of Gakuen Alice Manga Vol. 16 Ch. 95. Yeah, I know that the story doesn't continue this way. However, I came up with this fanfic idea while brainstorming what to write for Wickedmeep in DeviantArt as her prize for winning the Best Character / Pairing Portrayal--Fanart category in the GakuenAlice-club Secret Santa Fanart/fiction Exchange. Unfortunately, I couldn't get this idea out of my head and decided to write it anyway.
1st person view point = Misaki Harada
Finally, I thought as I closed and locked my bedroom door behind me. After taking a deep and shaky breath, I slid to the floor. It was so difficult being strong. Staying positive for Mikan's sake.
It didn't matter how many times I told her that Tsubasa would be fine and back soon with such a look on his face as if nothing had happened. It was all a lie. My show of confidence was just an act. In truth, I was scared to death that he wouldn't return.
My insides knotted as the brick wall that I had built around myself in order to hide my true emotions came crumbling down, releasing the flood of tears that were being held back by the damn.
It was very uncharacteristic of me to cry. Such an occurrence happened so infrequently that I didn't know how to control the sobs that wrecked through my body. "Tsubasa no Baka, you dummy!" I cried while trying to hold myself together. I felt like I was falling to pieces. "You promised that you would be okay!"
I don't know how long I sat there against the door with my knees pulled up as tightly as I could hold them to my chest. I had long since stopped crying – on the outside. Inside, my stomach remained tied in knots and my chest hurt so badly I would swear I was having a heart attack. The room was dark now. I didn't remember when the sun had set. I wasn't aware of the time. I was only aware of the ache through my body that made it difficult to move. I supposed that it might ease up if I loosened my grip around myself, but I feared that in doing so, I would fall apart.
At some point during the night I feel into a restless sleep, startling awake every now and then with my cheek pressed up against the wooden floor. I was too weak to move to my bed and I stared across the room at the shadows until I drifted back into unconsciousness.
I woke next to a bright beam of sunlight shining in through my window. I slowly pushed myself up off of the floor, limping painfully as the cramped muscles in my legs tried to relax. A look at my clock told me that it was 5:30 in the morning.
After stretching, I gathered my clothes and toiletries to go shower and prepare to put up my façade for Mikan's sake again.
So long as I kept busy throughout the day, I was able to hold myself together. When I found Mikan wandering aimlessly around it was easy to find the strength that we both needed. "Hey, Mikan-chan!" I called to her without hesitation.
"Misaki sempi!" She exclaimed with relief and ran to me. "I was waiting for you," she explained with a spark of hope. That spark found it's way to my heart, which fluttered with anticipation as I waited semi-patiently for her to continue. "Natsume came to me last night!" She stated with excitement.
I blinked in surprise. "Natsume?" I questioned. He was rumored to have been on the same mission as Tsubasa.
Mikan nodded, "He promised that he would definitely find Tsubasa sempi!" She relayed the information with the pitch of her voice rising in her excitement.
It took a moment for me to process the information. Natsume was a bit rough around the edges, but he was also a genius. Surely if anyone could find Tsubasa it would be Natsume. That spark of hope kindled within my heart and lit the expression of relief on my face. Mikan's expression was just as bright, like a guiding light.
That night I was able to rest easier, though I still worried. I lay in bed and stared into the darkness, at my ceiling. I replayed Mikan's news from that afternoon through my mind. She explained how Natsume had come to her room through the window, saying that he knew she would be crying, and how he had held her as she cried. It was clear to me that Natsume had feelings for Mikan. Though he had a poor way of showing it sometimes. I supposed that it was expected to be clumsy in matters of love at their age.
Yet, I had to admit to myself that I was also clumsy in matters of love. My heart jolted with fear at my next thought. What if Tsubasa didn't return? What if I never had the chance to tell him how I truly feel? Sure, we joked around a lot and I always insisted that we were just friends. To be honest, he was my best friend and though it was difficult to admit outright, throughout the years that friendship had turned into an unspoken love.
I rolled over to my stomach and buried my face into the pillow, biting back my urge to cry. I had to believe that he was all right and that Natsume would find and bring him back to us.
I'm not sure when I actually fell asleep. I couldn't have been sleeping for long because I wasn't sleeping deeply enough to miss the sound of something hitting my window. I lay there for a moment disoriented and listening for the sound to repeat itself. When it did I jumped off of my bed and was at my window with one fluid movement. I slid the window up and leaned out, searching the grounds below for any sign of movement.
"Misaki sempi," I heard a familiar voice in a loud whisper and found Mikan waving from behind a nearby tree to get my attention.
"Mikan?" I questioned in surprise. Why was she here this late? Had Natsume returned? If so, where was he? I looked around the grounds for any other signs of movement. Did he find Tsubasa? Maybe they were both at the hospital. I was beginning to panic and swung myself up onto the window seal and out onto a branch from the same tree behind which Mikan stood, that reached towards my second floor window with a couple of feet between. I swung down from the branch and landed with my feet on the ground. "What's wrong? What happened?" I turned to ask Mikan.
She looked wide-eyed and innocent up at me, seeming surprised. "Sugoi! Misaki sempi kakkoii, is cool!" Mikan was saying with amazement. She was so loud that I had to quickly clamp my hand over her mouth to avoid getting caught by the Dorm Mother.
"Mikan? Why are you here? Did Natsume return? Is everything ok?" I asked anxiously.
Mikan's mood suddenly turned solemn and I removed my hand from her mouth. "I couldn't sleep," she said and twisted one of her pony tales around her finger. I caught myself against the trunk of the tree with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry to worry you," she said quietly, now pulling both of her pony tales back and forth under her nose nervously.
"It's okay," I responded, regaining my composure, and smiled down at her. Her eyes were large and watery as she looked back up at me.
"What if Tsubasa sempi doesn't return?" She spoke my fear out loud in a whimper. I had to take a deep breath to hold myself together before I could sound convincing enough in my reassurance.
"He'll be back. You don't really think that anything this minuscule could stop him, do you?" I said, pulling her into a hug. I felt her shake her head and heard a sniffle before she pulled away enough to look at me.
"Can we go for a walk?" She asked innocently.
"Sure," I replied. There wasn't any way that I would get back to sleep now that the adrenalin was pumping through my body. I could also use the fresh air.
We walked silently through the night. Neither of us knew what to say, and our thoughts were distracted on Tsubasa's whereabouts. Eventually we ended up back by Mikan's dorm. "Feel any better?" I asked.
She nodded, "Thanks, Misaki sempi. I'm sorry for waking you."
"It was nothing," I replied. "Can you get back into your room?" Mikan didn't reply. Instead she was staring past me and something off in the distance. "What is it?" I asked and turned to look behind myself. What I saw made my heart jump into my throat.
Two silhouettes walked towards us from the distance. It was too dark to be certain who it could be, but the similarities were enough to make my stomach flip. Mikan and I both stood there, frozen, until the light of the moon could better recognize their identities. In that same moment Mikan took off into a full run at the approaching persons. I remain frozen in disbelief; afraid that if I moved the illusion would disappear.
Mikan flung herself into the arms of the taller figure. I could hear her hysterical sobs. Somehow I forced my legs to move forward, one step at a time until I was close enough to clearly see Natsume and Tsubasa. Tsubasa was holding Mikan as she cried into his shoulder. When our eyes met I froze in my spot. The feelings of relief, joy, and love surged throughout my body as my heart pounded in my chest. I struggled for control not to break down then and there.
Natsume's observant eye didn't miss my unspoken struggle. "Tsubasa isn't the only one who has returned you know," he commented, when Tsubasa set Mikan's feet back on the ground. She was wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands. "But I can see that I'm of no importance," he said before turning to walk away. Mikan stopped rubbing her eyes abruptly and stared after him with shock and a horrified expression.
"Natsume!?" She cried with what was clearly a hurt tone of voice. "That's not it! Wait! Natsume!?" She cried in panic and ran after him.
Even once Natsume and Mikan had disappeared from my sight, I still couldn't move. If I moved I would surely lose control. What would Tsubasa think if he saw me acting so weak?
"Misaki," he spoke my name softly, taking a step towards me and holding out his hand.
I stared at him for a moment, struggling with my inner emotions, desperate for control. He took another step and raised his other hand as if inviting me into his arms. I chanced a glance into his eyes and I could tell that he knew my inner struggle. Who was I kidding? Not Tsubasa. We had been so close for so long and he could always read me like a book.
I closed the last few steps between us with one giant leap and felt his arms enclose around me. I couldn't control the floodgates, and sobbed against him, clinging to the back of his shirt. Soon, my relief turned to anger and I pounded a fist against his chest in frustration. "You big dummy, I was so afraid that I had lost you!" I exclaimed, and just as quickly as it had come the anger returned to relief and I continue to cry like a baby in his embrace.
