Just because it's in Stephenie Meyer's book doesn't mean it's real. Even though we wish….and hope….and pray…..nope nothing :[
Examples.
1. You can't outrun a car with your 'supavampiyahspeed'. I don't care how fast you think you can run a car can outrun you.
2. Don't 'Cullen out' your car. Your ancient car wasn't built to exceed those numbers. It just scares us and you.
3. You are not strong enough to stop a moving van. Hint: Do not attempt…again.
4. You can't read my mind. I don't care how long you concentrate. That face only makes you look constipated.
5. Mountain Lion it not your favorite food. Stop pretending you like it. You've never even seen one.
6. Even if you are super pale, getting topaz contacts will not turn you into a vampire. Stop trying.
7. In the real world people don't get away with grand theft auto. I don't recommend it.
8. Werewolves are not out to get you. Neither are the Volturi. Trying to make me believe so will not make me want to run away with you.
9. Don't pretend you want my blood. It's not hot. Just weird.
10. You do age. You are mortal. No matter how much you don't want to be. Deal with it.
11. Trying to sneak through my window is not a smart idea. If you don't die in the process. I will call the police.
12. You don't shimmer in the sun. You don't shimmer at all. And no I won't use my 'imagination'.
13. Your skin is not hard as granite. Knifes and saws will penetrate your skin. You will bleed.
14. You can't 'dazzle' me. Don't stare at me hours on end. It only makes me want a restraining order.
15. Black contacts are not sexy. And no they don't make you look 'dangerous'
16. You do need sleep. I do recommend it. Sleep deprivation is ugly.
17. Vampires aren't real. There is no Edward Cullen, so you aren't him. We have accepted that. You should too.
