Hi there! I wrote this oneshot when I was revising for my exams coz the idea just suddenly popped up in my head! (Well I will probably ended up failing my exams)
I am also writing my other Darren Shan crossover fanfic which is called Vampires and Magic. I have just updated my latest chapter and working on the next one…interested to take a look?
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in the Darren Shan Saga…BUT I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED THEM… WEEEEEEHEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (In a hyperactive state, running around in circles …)
Attractions
It was just another usual night in Vampire Mountain. I was bored, so I decided to go to the hall of sports. Strangely, there weren't lots of vampires in the hall as usual. I found Vanez in a fighting ring instructing young vampires and I walked over.
"Hi Vanez!" I said and he turned around from his students.
"Hi Darren."
"Why is it so empty here today?"
"Well most of the vampires are bored so they decided to have a drinking party in the hall, why don't you go and join them?"
"Er…" Vanez interrupted me with a shout to his student.
"Don't let your guard down! Hold your sword up!!!!" He shouted and turned back to me again smiling. "I am sorry Darren… young vampires these days get lazier and lazier. So, why don't you join them?"
"I don't think I really want to…I still remembered the headache I had last time I got drunk."
"Oh I see…then do you want to join us to practice sword fighting?" he asked.
"No thanks. I don't feel like it today. May be tomorrow. I'm just going to walk around and watch."
"Ok then. I will see you in a bit."
I walked around the hall and I saw Arra on the bars, knocking her opponent off. She spotted me.
"Hey Darren! Fancy a game?" She yelled across the hall to me.
"Er…no, I don't feel like it…"
"Oh don't be such a girl!" She teased. "I will bet you. If you win, I can do whatever you want me to do and it is the same for you if I win." That would be interesting. I could tell Arra to…kiss Mr. Crepsley may be? A grin appeared on my face.
"Bet accepted." I said as I grabbed a staff and climbed up the bars. "Arra you know I have improved a lot since our last game."
Arra chuckled. "Let's see if you can beat me this time."
We started. We looked each other in the eye and I took a sudden move, swinging my staff towards her ankle. She jumped and dodged.
"Come on you got to be better than this." She teased.
"You will see."
Thirty minutes had gone passed and the game hadn't ended yet. Me and Arra were panting heavily on the bars.
"Looks like you really have improved." Arra said.
"Yeah and I'm going to knock you off this time." I said as I garbbed my javelin tighter. Suddenly a voice rang out from below.
"Darren!" I looked down. It was Harket. Oh god. I shouldn't lose my attention. I felt Arra's javelin whack against my right leg. I lost my balance and fell off the bars, hitting the ground harshly. "Ouch!"
"Looks like you have no chance this time." Arra looked down at me. "Now…let's see what I can make you do…"
"But I lost my attention because of Harket!" I yelped.
"You should never lose any attentions from your opponent at any time. You have learnt a lesson this time." I wanted to retort but I couldn't think of anything, so instead I glared at Harket, blaming him for making me fell.
"Wh..what. I was…just shouting your… name."
"I have just thought of what you can do!" Arra said as she leapt from the plank and landed beside me and Harket. She grinned at me evilly. "I want to dress you up as a girl, and show everyone."
"What?" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. "You…you are kidding, right?"
"Nope. I am damn serious." She said, putting up a serious expression on her face. Harket chuckled at the side.
"What you laughing at? It's all your fault!" I yelled at him. He just shrugged.
"Now Darren…I have got stuff prepared for you in my cell…" Arra said. I had a bad feeling about this…
"We are done." Finally. She had been putting weird powder and stuff all over my face for a whole freaking hour. I stood up and my head felt heavy. I turned towards Harket and I found him staring.
"What. Say something! I know I look hideous right now. You can laugh if you want."
"No…Darren…actually you look…good."
"Good?" How am I suppose to look good? "You are teasing me now, right?"
Harket handed a mirror to me. "Take a look…at yourself."
I took it and looked. I was shocked. I was wearing a wig with black curly long hair. I looked paler than usual but I had pinky coloured cheeks. My lips were shiny – looked like they had been somehow polished.
"Gorgeous, aren't you?" Arra said at the side.
"Is this really me?" I stared in the mirror, feeling my face with my hand in disbelief. "Where did you get this make up stuff and the wig from?" I asked Arra.
She blushed. "Well…you see when I first became a vampire I still wanted to look beautiful in front of everybody...Oh yes, I almost forgot…" She said as she got something out under her bed.
"Put that on." Arra tossed me something. I caught it and held it up. It was a long white dress with long sleeves. I stared at her in terror.
"Don't just stand there, get in that! You are going to the hall to meet everyone afterwards!"
"Hell no. I am not going to let people see me like this!" I yelped.
"You lost Darren." Arra said.
I shouldn't have taken the bet in the first place. I sighed. "Fine." This was going to be embarrassing.
Arra entered the hall, with me walking behind her. Harket didn't come with us because he said people will recognize me if he was beside me. I was staring at the ground all the time. It was hard to walk in this bloody long dress and on the way here I tripped a few times. I was blushing so badly which I could feel the heat rushing up in my face. It was noisy in there and every vampire was drinking and some were even strip dancing and singing on the table. No one noticed us yet.
"Arra … can I go back now?" I asked, hiding behind her.
She chuckled. "No! You haven't met anyone yet!" She said as she dragged me to the centre of the hall. Then I presumed someone noticed since the hall had gone completely quiet within seconds. I stared at the ground, waiting for the laughs and insults to come, but the silence carried on. I looked up and found everyone staring. Then came the muttering and whispering but no one laughed. I shifted uncomfortably under the gazes.
"Arra I've done it. I've meet everyone. Happy now? I'm going." I said as I headed back towards the entrance. But then a vampire came out in front of me, blocking my way. I looked up at him.
"Going (burp) anywhere…missy? (burp) Fancy to have (burp) a drink with…me? (burp burp)" He asked, burping continuously. I could tell by looking at his state that he was drunk.
"No thanks." I said as I stepped out his way and headed towards the entrance. He grabbed my arm suddenly and yanked me backwards.
"Don't (burp)be so boring (burp)….come on (burp)."
"Get the hell off me!" I said as I lashed out to his face but before I could hit him someone swung a foot at his head and knocked him onto the ground.
"Didn't your mama teach you to be gentle with ladies?" It was Kurda. He said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him.
"Sorry about that young lady. Forget what just happened. Now, wanna go to my room for a little chit chat?" I was shocked by what he just said. I turned to look at him in the eyes but a blast of strong alcoholic smell hit my nose. It came from his mouth. He had been drinking as well. I wriggled out of his arm.
"Kurda, are you ok? Can't you recognize me?"
"Recognize you? Of course I recognize you…you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life…" he said, grinning like an idiot. He was talking nonsense now. "Come on let's go to my room…" he stepped closer to me.
But then someone went between me and Kurda. It was Mr. Crepsley. He pushed Kurda away and turned towards me. His face was reddened but emotionless. He gripped my shoulders and leaned forward.
"Mr. Crepsley?" he didn't answer me. Instead he leaned closer towards my face. Then I realized what he was doing. He was trying to kiss me. God! Is he drunk as well?! I tried to struggle but I couldn't because his grip on me was so strong. I closed my eyes, waiting for the bad moment to come. Bye bye first kiss…Then someone grabbed my collar and pulled me backwards, away from Mr. Crepsley. It was Arra.
"What do you think you are doing, Larten?" Arra yelled at Mr. Crepsley.
"Kissing. Get lost." Mr. Crepsley said, face still remained emotionless.
"You bastard!" she growled and slapped Mr. Crepsley across the face. I watched in interest behind Arra. This was such a funny scene. Then a shiver came driving up my spine. I felt glares from behind so I slowly turned around. I froze.
A crowd of about 30 vampires were surrounding me in a semi-circle and their faces were all red because of the alcohol. They were staring at me with their eyes on fire. Shit. This was not a good sign. I spotted an openning in the crowd and sprinted towards it, barging out from the crowd and towards the entrance. The crowd started to follow me. I was lucky that they couldn't ran too fast since they were all drunk.
"Hey stop running!"
"Wait for me little beauty!"
"Oh come on! You will have fun with us!"
"Just one kiss!"
The drunken vampires were running behind me and shouting things some which were total nonsense. There was no way I was going to stop now. I kept running as fast as I could but it was hard to run in a dress.
I spotted Seba walking down the corridor in front of me.
"Seba help me!" I yelled and ran towards him, hiding behind his back. The crowd of drunken vampires stopped in front of him.
"Step aside Seba!" A vampire shouted in the crowd. Seba was still in shock by what he just seen. Well, everyone would be in shock as well if you see a person being chased by 30 or more vampires down the corridor.
"I don't know how this happened, but chasing a young girl, scaring the shit out of her?" young girl. So he didn't recognize me. How sad…
"Yeah get lost Seba!" Someone shouted again.
"Make me." Seba said, crossing his arms in front of him and stood still. Unfortunately, no one listened to him and the crowd jumped on him. This time it was him that cried out for help. I felt sorry for him.
"Oops." I turned and ran away again. I felt guilty, leaving him there with vampires on top squashing him but if I didn't run I would probably end up getting raped by those bloody drunkards.
"Sorry Seba!! I will always remember you!" I shouted as I ran.
I kept running until I reached the Hall of Prince. An idea popped up. No one could come in the hall uninvited except the princes. I barged in and slammed the door shut behind me. I leaned on the door, panting heavily then I looked up. Paris and Vancha were in the hall. They stared at me strangely. The vampires outside started banging on the door, shouting. Am I really that attractive or were they just really drunk?
"May I ask who you are?" Paris asked. What the Fuc…God! Do I really look that different? Even they didn't know it was me!
"Paris." I said.
"Hey how do you know his name? And how could a girl like you get in here?" Vancha exclaimed at the side.
"I also know your name as well,Vancha, and I am not a girl."
He stared at me in confusion. "What the hell?"
"Paris. Vancha. I will explain the whole thing to you later. Please can you just help me to get those drunken vampires away? They acted like animals in a heat period!" Paris hesitated but nodded slowly. He walked towards the entrance of the hall and opened the door. I could see some vampires fall through the entrance because they were leaning too hard against the door.
"Quiet!" Paris shouted. The crowd went quiet instantly. "May I please ask you to leave? The hall of prince is not for drunken vampires."
"Not without the girl!"
"I haven't touched one for 40 years! And I want her now!"
Some stupid vampires shouted throughout the crowd. Holy shit. They don't even know what they were saying, do they?
"Enough you drunken bastards!" Vancha roared as he stepped in front of the crowd. "You heard Paris! Now get your arses back to the hall!"
"Saving the girl for yourself, Vancha?" Someone in the crowd shouted. What an idiot. Vancha's eyes filled with anger. I could see that he wanted to kill right now. His face was red and his fists were clenched. Oh god. I have to stop this.
"Guys…" I stepped forward, blocking Vancha and the crowd.
"Decided to join us, little beauty?" a vampire in front of me asked. I sighed. How stupid can these vampires be?
"OH FOR FUCK SAKE! IT'S ME YOU DUMB ARSES!" I yelled as I pulled the wig off my head and wiped the makeup off my face using my sleeve. Everybody went quiet, staring at me in shock, even Paris and Vancha.
"Da-Darren?" about a minute later someone finally said.
"Yeah it is me so what?" I rolled my eyes. I wished I could bury my head into the ground now. "Now go back to the hall and get on with your freaking drinking party!" I said as I barged through the crowd, leaving everyone mouths half-opened.
I went to the hall to get something to eat the next day. Some vampires whistled at me when I walked down the corridor but I ignored them. As I walked in the hall, everyone went quiet and started to stare. I saw Harket sitting on one of the tables so I walked over and sat down beside him. Then the muttering and whispering started.
"Darren…I heard about yesterday…" Harket started.
"I don't want to talk about it." I snapped and got back to my food. Then someone sat down beside me and tapped my shoulder. It was Vancha. He was grinning at me like an idiot.
"What." I asked, annoyed. Everytime he grinned like that something bad was going to happen. He shifted closer to me.
"You know…you looked…Er…stunning yesterday…" my eyes widened. "I wondered… if… you can get into that tonight..."
I gave him the most murderous glare I could manage and he flinched.
"Talk to me ONE MORE TIME and I will... "
The End
I have drawn some pictures in manga style for Darren in this story! Take a look! (You have to delete the spaces in between the link)
Darren in a dress:
http:// i551. photobucket. com/albums/ii444/isabella19922000/d. jpg
Kurda(Drunk!) and Darren:
http:// i551. photobucket. com/albums/ii444/isabella19922000/dcdcd. jpg
Please R&R!
What do you think about this? Not really keen on writing humors but just decided to have a go…Please please please review to tell me if it is good or not... i don't mind flames!
P.S. I am sorry if there are a lot of mistakes because English isn't my native language...
