Have yourself a merry little Christmas
As the elevator gave an abrupt and distinct ding, Samantha McCall's stomach gave a lurch. It was amazing that she had made it all the way to the Harbor View Towers without a second thought, but now that she had reached the pent house floor, she was ready to close the elevator doors and return to where she had come from.
What the hell was she doing here?
That's what she was asking herself now. It was Christmas Eve and she knew where she belonged; back at the Lake House with her mother and her sisters. Nikolas was supposed to be there too, with Nadine the nuisance as Sam liked to call her. More importantly, Lucky was to meet her there as well.
What would he think?
He had been vigil at her side ever since the incident only days before. A severe bout of hypothermia and re-injuring of her hip, and suddenly they seemed closer than ever.
So what was Sam doing visiting Jason Morgan?
Maybe it was because she felt she owed him something. After her stupidity got her into a jam, he had come to her rescue. She could hardly remember most of it, she was slipping in and out of consciousness at the bottom of a freezing pit after all, but at the same time she could feel him through the darkness. She remembered his voice, so soft and desperate, pleading with her.
"Sam? Sam wake up. Sam can you hear me? Listen, you need to hang on. Help is coming. Sam?"
She had felt the warm mass of his jacket pile on top of her and his strong arms cradle her ever so carefully. And after that she wasn't sure if whether she had dreamed or felt it. But when she finally came to and finally saw his face for that brief moment, the first words to touch her lips were of a plea.
"Jason . . ." she had croaked, teeth chattering so uncontrollably that it was painful.
"Sam, thank God," he whispered.
"I'm cold," she hissed.
"I know, I know, just hang on," Jason encouraged, holding her tighter.
"I'm sorry about Jake . . . I wish I would have done things different . . . I should have - - -"
"Hush," he whispered. "That's in the past now. It's different now."
"I'm sorry," she nearly cried, aches panging in all areas of her weak body.
"It's okay, Sam. I forgive you. It's over now . . . Just rest, please. I can't have you die on me out here . . . rest . . ." he instructed, tenderly brushing a loose strand of hair behind her freezing ear.
After that she had slipped back into that unknowing darkness. And again she questioned what was real. She thought it had happened and she didn't know what to think if it had. She had a glimpse of waking up once, still suffering of hypothermia in the pit, Jason still with her. But her shirt was removed and it seemed as though he was holding her up on his lap, hugging her against him, for he also had his shirt removed. The body heat felt so familiar, so tight, and so warm that she thought it had to be true. She was aware that body to body contact was the best cure to hypothermia, and she was also aware that Jason was not stupid.
But whether it was true or not did not explain her presence there, except for the fact that she still felt as though she owed him for whatever it was he had done.
The elevator doors were about to close again and she quickly stepped between them, forcing them to retreat back. She maneuvered into the hallway, balancing her weight on the god forsaken cane she had been forced to use again. The fall into the pit had been far and the land hard. Patrick had been less than pleased that she had shattered the bone once more, ruining his painstaking work.
With a heavy sigh, Sam pounded on the pent house door. When there was no immediate answer she was prepared to bolt, but she heard the unlatching of locks on the other side and suddenly they came face to face once more. It was the first time she had seen him since the hospital.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hey," Sam replied. "Merry Christmas."
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let
your heart be light
He gave her a grim smile. "Do you want to come in?"
She shrugged and slowly entered. He silently closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?" he asked gently.
"I just . . . I wanted to say thank you," Sam replied.
"I've told you before that it was nothing, Sam. I would never . . . I would never let anything happen to you," Jason said.
"I know that now," she sighed.
From
now on, our troubles will be out of sight
"Shouldn't
you be with your family . . . and Lucky?" Jason asked almost
bitterly.
Sam ignored his roughness. "I wanted to give you a gift, Scrooge," she said with a hint of laughter. She could see he was repressing a grin.
"You didn't have to get me anything," he told her.
"Too late," she replied. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small package, wrapped poorly in newspaper. She tossed it to him. "Merry Christmas."
Have
yourself a merry little Christmas
He raised an eyebrow. "Sam . . ."
"Please, Jason," she said. "It's something I've wanted you to have. Now don't be like this, open it."
He gave her another grim look but proceeded to remove the paper. Revealed to him was a worn gold pocket watch, still ticking rhythmically. Sam filled the silence that formed between them.
"I found it a long time ago when I was still salvaging . . ." she started. "I usually would pawn things like that off, make whatever cash I could and go onto the next spot . . . but for some reason I could never get rid of that watch. It seemed special for some reason."
Make
the Yuletide gay
"I thought you would enjoy it," Sam finished slowly.
He nodded. "I do. It's great, Sam," he told her. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I feel bad that I didn't get you anything," he whispered.
"Jason, don't. It's the least I could do - - -"
"Would you stop saying that," he nearly barked.
From now on, our troubles will be far away
She was taken back by his words and he slowly turned away. "I'm the one who should be sorry . . . I'm the one who should be thanking you," he sighed. "I hate myself everyday for what I did and for the things I said . . . I should have never threatened you, Sam."
"You were upset," she whispered. "And for good reason."
He shook his head. "That doesn't change anything . . ." he nearly laughed. "Nothing ever really changed anyway."
"What are you talking about?"
"I never stopped . . ." Jason paused and turned to face her. "Why did you love me?"
Sam's mouth dropped slightly and she froze for a moment. "I loved you because . . . you were another part of me Jason. You made me feel whole . . . you gave me a home . . . and when I was with you I felt like the best that I could ever be."
Here
we are, as in olden days
"That's why I loved you too," he mumbled. He diverted his eyes away from hers, finally realizing the fact that they had become locked together.
"It seems like a good enough reason, doesn't it?" Sam nearly laughed. He nodded.
"Or maybe we were just crazy . . ." he said. He rubbed the side of his face. "You should go . . . Alexis and Lucky will probably be worried . . ."
Sam bit on her lower lip and nodded. "Right . . . Well, Merry Christmas, Jason," she said as he opened the door.
"Merry Christmas, Sam," he whispered back.
Happy golden days of your
"Sam, wait," he said suddenly. He had grabbed her by the arm, and nearly yanked her back just to see her once more.
"What?"
By the time she spun around her question went unanswered. His lips pressed against hers with great passion, his free hand going around her waist to pull her in close. Her cane fell to the floor with a light rattle as she placed her hands onto his cheeks and worked her lips against the familiar surface of his. The passionate embrace seemed to last a lifetime and both were determined to let it continue forever.
But she pushed him away.
She gasped for air. "Jason, I - - -"
The elevator gave another ring. The doors slid open.
"Stone Cold, I bring season greetings!" Spinelli exclaimed.
Jason's eyes remained wide as he swallowed. Sam's expression said all words that needed to be said, as she quickly turned away, brushing past Spinelli and into the elevator before he could even call out.
"Fair Samantha?"
Faithful friends who are dear to us
"Where did Sam say she was going exactly?"
Alexis Davis bleakly questioned her daughter's beau, worried for the answer. It drove her into fits of worry to know that Sam was constantly putting herself in danger and if she wasn't danger it was finding her.
"She had to go run an errand I guess," Lucky Spencer told her as he sat at the kitchen table, looking defeated and hurt. Sam had assured him they would meet back at the Lake House but it seemed like she was standing him up once again.
"I smell ham," Nikolas announced merrily as he bounced into the kitchen. He reached the freshly prepared dish, but his aunt quickly swatted his hand away.
"Don't even think about it," Alexis nearly hissed. "No ham until Sam gets here."
Nikolas gave a growl. The doorbell gave a ring and both brothers suddenly perked up, nearly sprinting for the front door. "That better be Sam," Nikolas said. Lucky rolled his eyes as he pulled open the front door.
"Elizabeth?"
Gather
near to us
"Daddy!" Cameron exclaimed, throwing himself to Lucky and wrapping his arms around him.
"Hey little guy," Lucky grinned, scooping him up into his arms.
"Merry Christmas," Cameron said.
"Merry Christmas," Lucky replied, watching curiously as Elizabeth maneuvered inside with Jake on her hip. Nikolas helped her with her jacket. "What are you doing here? I thought you were at Audrey's . . ."
"It seemed wrong for the boys to not see you on Christmas Eve," Elizabeth answered. She watched as Alexis entered the living room, a perplexed expression on her face. "We only stopped by to say hi . . ."
"Are you kidding? It's fine, we have plenty of food," Alexis said, forcing holiday cheer. Sometimes it seemed she despised Elizabeth Webber more than her daughter did. After so many years as an attorney she could read people and for some brewing reason she still could never trust the nurse. Sam had assured her things had settled between her arch-nemesis but Alexis remained on the defense, prepared for the next blow out.
But what was she to say? It was Christmas after all.
Once more
Sam slowly made her way up to the porch of the Lake House, her heart full and her mind puzzled. Through the window she could see all the happy faces. Cameron and Kristina played in the living room. Nikolas, Nadine, and Lucky conversed in front of the fire. Alexis prepared dinner in the kitchen, while Elizabeth stood awkwardly nearby.
She should have known Elizabeth would intrude on her intimate family gathering. It would be her first year with her sisters and her mother and cousin and boyfriend and Elizabeth had to ruin it.
Sam took in a claming breath. It would all be okay.
She pushed open the door and an immediate rush of warm air, prickled her cold face. "You're here," Lucky grinned.
"Alexis we can have ham now!" Nikolas called rising from his seat.
Sam rolled her eyes at her cousin before suddenly she found herself in a tight embrace, his lips tight against hers. When they released he gave her a smile.
"Merry Christmas, Sam" Lucky said.
She grinned back. "Merry Christmas."
Through
the years, we all will be together
The awkward dinner Sam predicted did not take place. Elizabeth had bowed out after the table had been set, claiming she had to get back to Audrey. But as a Christmas Eve present to Lucky she had left Cameron with him for the night and would be back in the morning to pick him up. It made Sam's heart light to see the look on his face.
Alexis sat at the head of the dinning room table, sitting back once and beaming at the sight. Her nephew on one side and her eldest daughter on the other, all laughing and sharing food. She knew this was what Christmas should have looked like many years before.
In the middle of the meal, Lucky placed his hand on the top of Sam's knee underneath the table, and leaned close. In a close whisper, that tickled her ear, he grinned, "I love you, Sam."
"I love you too," she murmured back, giving him a kiss on the cheek. But in her heart there was a sinking feeling. She still thought about Jason back at the pent house alone and reminiscing about their passionate exchange.
If
the fates allow
Jason Morgan's cold eyes remained locked on the screen, watching distantly as Judy Garland belted out the Christmas classic. A half-eaten pie sat on the coffee table and a wreath tossed onto the nearby armchair. Spinelli had tried his best to supply Jason with all the holiday cheer that he could, but was unsuccessful. Now the computer genius was spending the holidays with the Jones/Scorpio family and Jason sat alone.
Only deep memories accompanied the mobster.
His empty shoe box sat near him and as he placed his only Christmas gift in the gapping hole of memories a dim light in the room made the necklace he had once known so well give a shining glimmer. His heart swelled as he grabbed Sam's star necklace, the one she had given back to him the day she left.
He was reminded of the days they had spent together. The kisses, the embraces, the laughs, the long talks, and the love.
Why had he let it go?
And while the passionate kiss had felt so sweet and so right that evening and he wanted to call her and tell her how he felt; he knew she was no longer his star.
Hang
a shining star upon the highest bough
Sam gave a heavy sigh as she slowly glided across the Lake House porch, grateful for the draft of fresh air. She leaned against the porch railing, watching as the snow slowly fell.
The evening had been ideal with her family and friends. Maxie and Spinelli had stopped by to give gleeful holiday wishes and Diane and Max had also made an appearance. Lulu Spencer arrived after dessert to spend time with her brothers grinning widely when she saw Lucky. And after a round of coffees Sam had decided she needed an escape.
All the civilized life was beginning to make her itch.
What was wrong with her?
Why couldn't she just enjoy what normal people enjoyed? Why was she such an adrenaline junky? And why couldn't she stop thinking about Jason Morgan?
Interrupting her thoughts was the vibrating of her cell phone. She forgot she had turned off the ring during dinner and before she could reach into her pocket, she was gently embraced from behind.
"Hey," Lucky whispered.
"Hey," Sam grinned.
"What are you doing out here all alone?"
"I needed some air," Sam answered as she turned to face him.
It was amazing how much she loved him.
"Are you sure everything is okay?"
It was amazing how in tune he was with every emotion she felt.
"I'm fine," she replied reassuringly, ignoring the fact that she wanted to blurt out she had made out with her ex-fiancee. "What about you?"
"I couldn't be better," he answered.
"Are you sure? I feel bad that you're spending this holiday with my family, when you could be with - - -"
"You are family, Sam," Lucky replied. His mouth cracked into a slight grin and his eyes welled with happiness. "Or at least I want to make you my family . . ."
She raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that . . ." Lucky started but gave a sigh. "I really care about you Sam."
"I care about you too."
"I love you," he continued.
"I love you too," Sam replied again. He heart was racing. "Where are you going with this?"
He gave a nervous smile. "I-I-I'm . . . proposing," he said as he lowered himself onto one knee. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a black box. "I love you Sam and I want to spend the rest of my life with you . . . You've made me feel complete when I thought I never could and with you I know what it means to have a soul mate . . . You taught me what it means to love again and now I want to love you forever . . . so . . . will you marry me?"
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now
After the fourth call Jason threw the phone across the room. He pressed the lid tightly onto his shoe box and pinched the bridge of his nose. And across town his ex-fiancée became someone else's fiancée, tears in her eyes as Lucky Spencer slipped a ring onto her finger.
