It's actually physically hurting me not to get these words out, but I don't know what to say. You keep telling me that we'll make it, that distance won't break us down, I hear the lie just a little louder, just a little more clearly, just making sure I know it's there. It's tearing me apart that you're distancing yourself from me, but I don't blame you. It's not your fault I'm leaving. You didn't ask for this. Sure, you probably figured it'd happen eventually, but it's never felt this real, has it? Never stung so much. Every time I think the word 'goodbye' it feels a little more permanent, because I'm waiting for some kind of confirmation from you. I'm waiting for you to yell at me and maybe cry because you're so pissed and finally decide waiting for me is too damn exhausting and lay down and close your eyes against all the too tired and for once in your life get some peaceful, quiet sleep because you're actually alone. But before you do, lie to me one more time. It'll be selfish. For me because it'll be the easiest thing to hear and for you because it used to be the truth so it'll still be the easiest thing for you to say. But I don't care. Tell me nothing's changed – that nothing is changing – between us. Tell me you still love me now like you did two Decembers ago, or last year, or yesterday. Tell me we're still strong enough for forever. Tell me as long as my heart's beating, no matter how far apart we are, you'll be able to feel it. Tell me physical and emotional distance aren't the same thing and that when I see you again we'll be able to pick up right where we left off. Lie to me about our future and about what's going on right now. Lie to me about how you feel, and about how I feel, too. Tell me this hurts you. Tell me you're not numb. Tell me everything'll be alright while you're walking away, and then, please, just let me let you down.
