There I was again. Curled up, floating around in limbo, screaming and sobbing and pulling my hair out. How had I gotten here? I used to be so happy…so…sane. What had happened? Well…I'd grown up. Mentally. Physically, I lived for millions of years. But mentally, emotionally, I became much older. I'd been destroyed by Hime- no, it was more of a lovers' suicide, that's how I'd ended up here.

I asked myself who had played a part in my destruction. I came up with so many names, but one really stood out. This one person might as well have done everything themselves. Because when I thought about it, plenty of people had hurt me, but this person could have fixed me. They just didn't. And who was that person?

That person was me, Shojin.

And I knew that now. I had destroyed myself. I hadn't been able to help myself and that was my fault. But could I fix myself now? No. I couldn't. Because now I had lost that part of me that enabled me to do that. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about myself, not even a little bit. And because of that, I couldn't be fixed.

Knowing that, a lost another part of my sanity. I'd figured that if I could tape everyone down, go through what had happened, fixed the damage, then I'd be fine. But no. Knowing now that it was all me just did me in. I was done. It was over. I was finished.

There wasn't anything anymore. No one. No love. No dreams. No fight. No hope.

I had had hope, I suppose. It'd been there. That's what had put the fight in me I guess. But now that that was gone, I had nothing. No love. You know, it's true that there is only one love worth fighting for. And that love, is the love for yourself. Once you lose that you have nothing.

And I have nothing.

I am nothing.

I might as well just disappear. Would they miss me? Probably not. Would they feel bad about it? Well, I would hope so. I being gone would definitely be a big FUCK YOU, sent straight to all of them mortals. And then they'd get it. They'd finally see how terrible things really were for me. They'd finally understand.

And that's why I did it. That's why I plunged Murakumo into us as Himeko stabbed me, and let everything fade into nothingness.

I'd started as something, wound up hopeless, and ended up dead.

God save the soul that I lost, the soul of the girl that I used to be, Chikane. That girl deserves a chance. Me? I deserve to rot in hell.

So, I'll see you there, Himeko.