Merlin

Love by any other name…

"what was it like?" Gaius asked. Merlin looked at him, startled, and a little confused. Slowly he sipped his soup.

"What was what like?" asked Merlin. Gaius sat back, arms folded.

"Erador" he said. Merlin frowned and smiled.

"A village, just an ordinary village" he replied. Gaius shook his head.

"I meant, how did you, hide your talents there" he said. Merlin nodded, understanding.

"Oh, that. It wasn't easy, and I'm sure many people knew but they didn't say anything to me about it, well no one except Will" Merlin explained.

"Will?" asked Gaius. Merlin nodded.

"He was, is.. was my best friend there. We used to play together when we were younger" Merlin said. Gaius nodded, and then smiled.

"And the others in your village, you said you think they knew?" he asked. Merlin plopped the spoon into his soup, a little annoyed.

"Gaius, is there a point to this?" he asked. Gaius shook his head.

"No, just wonder is all. I mean you are new here, and yes I have known Hunith for many a year, but you, no.. I just thought it would be nice to get to know my Ward" he said.

"Did Morgana have to go through this?" Merlin asked, trying to picture Morgana sitting with Gaius being questioned. The image was of course, absurd.

"We don't have to take about this if you don't want to" said Gaius. Merlin immediately felt ashamed, here he had been thrust into this mans care without a thought to what it really meant, and the old man had gone out of his way to make him feel, if not exactly at home just yet, somewhat less alone then he would otherwise have felt.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so used to keeping my guard up around people I don't really know, it's sometimes difficult to let it down" he explained. Gaius nodded in understanding, a slight smile on his face.

"Lets see" said Merlin, pushing the soup bowl away. "Eric, the village elder, he despised me" said Merlin. "But most of the villagers hated him as well" he added with a sly grin.

"why was that?" asked Gaius.

"What? Why did the others hate him?"

"No, why did he despise you?" Gaius said patently. Merlin shrugged, thinking.

"the year I was born, we had a bad season, crops failed, some of the cattle got sick, then when I started doing things, moving stuff, levitating bits and pieces, well he immediately said I was some demon child, that it was my fault" Merlin explained.

"What utter nonsense" Gaius said. Merlin looked at him and shrugged.

"He tried to have me killed" Merlin said. "I'm not sure what actually happened, but there was another man in the village, ermm, George.. I think his name was, anyways it doesn't really matter. George stepped in, defied him in front of everyone, caused such an uproar that Eric had no choice but to step down in the matter" Merlin said. "So I got to live, but I was always shunned, so was my mother" he said. "Eventually though Will and his father moved to the village, which is how we met. I think I was about seven" he said. "It was strange really, because up until then I had no friends, the other children would stay away from me" Merlin said softly. Gaius's heart went out to the young man sitting opposite him. Merlin scratched his head absently, before standing up and collecting the bowls, Gaius watching.

"It must have been lonely" said Gaius, looking at him. Merlin nodded.

"It was. But when Will arrived it was so much better. It was helpful that Will's father was one of those people who believed magic was a gift, so he encouraged Will to get to know me, I was scared at first, I mean no one, except my Mother that is, had ever shown me any kindness until then" said Merlin.

"None of the others in the village? At all? You mentioned that George fellow?" Giles prompted.

"George died when I was four, he wasn't a well man" said Merlin. "but even though he had saved me, he didn't really get to know me, he was always walking on eggshells around me" Merlin said. "Anyways, the years continued, and I got to know Will, and then when I reached nineteen I was sent here" Merlin said. Gaius nodded, but his eyes remained narrowed.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's nothing" said Merlin. His voice faltering for just a moment. Gaius realised that for some reason Merlin was crying.

"In the letter your mother sent, she said you needed guidance, with your talents, you magic" he said. Merlin sniffed and turned back, wiping his eyes.

"Yep, and here I am" he said with a forced smile. Gaius nodded, not pressing the matter for the moment.

"Yes, indeed" he replied. "Go, get some sleep" he added, with a smile. Merlin sniffed again, and then wishing Gaius a good night, went into his small room, closing the door. Gaius watching all the while. After a few minuets the old man stood, and then went to his dressing screen, changing for bed. As he settled under the covers, blowing out the candles, he frowned, hearing Merlin sobbing quietly in his room.

"oh my poor boy" he muttered. Not falling asleep for many hours.

"What is wrong with you today?" demanded Prince Arthur as Merlin held up the shield, using both hands to try to deflect the blow.

"Nothing, sorry" Merlin replied. Arthur rolled his eyes and lifted the sword back again, swinging it around in a savage arc, that bounced off the shield, sending his manservant staggering again.

"Put your back into it" Arthur nearly yelled. Merlin nodded and then planted one foot behind the other steadying himself, too late, realising that his back foot was on a patch of slippery mud, he slipped forwards, holding the shield even as Arthur swung around, eyes wide as Merlin's head became exposed, however, carried by the momentum as he was all he could do was turn the sword flat ways. The blow must have stung but it was better then having to explain to his father how he'd managed to decapitate his manservant. Merlin sprawled back, his cheek already developing a nasty bruise.

"Merlin, are you okay?" he asked, stepping over to him. Merlin sat up, throwing the shield aside.

"Fine, dandy" he replied, Arthur reached down to help him but Merlin shrugged it off. "I can get up" he practically snarled. Arthur stepped back, holding his hands up.

"sorry, just trying to help" he said.

"Just practice for the tournament and leave us poor servants to fend for themselves okay" Merlin replied. Arthur was taken aback at the anger in the mans voice.

"I said I was sorry, what is your problem?" Arthur demanded, looking at him closely.

"Nothing, I'm fine okay" Merlin replied, picking up the shield.

"Merlin, you are not fine, you haven't been fine all morning" Arthur said. Merlin looked at him, wondering for the briefest moment how his fate could honestly be entwined with this royal prat. "I think you need to sort your head out" Arthur said.

"I said I'm fine" Merlin replied, dully. Arthur pointed the sword at him. Eyebrows raised.

"You. Are Not fine" He stated with finality. "Go on, let Gaius have a look at that bruise" Arthur said.

"Arthur…"

"Merlin, go before I have the guards drag you there" Arthur said. Merlin sighed, then threw down the shield in disgust, before storming away, Arthur watching him go.

He walked into the castle, barging through people, who turned to glare at him as he did so. So engrossed in his anger and, yes, humiliation, he felt it, he really did, he turned the corner, practically walking into the back of Lady Morgana. She turned slowly, as Gwen winced.

"Why don't you look where your going?" said Morgana, eyeing him.

"Sorry my lady" said Merlin, moving past them, and striding off without being dismissed. Morgana's eyes widened slightly, as she turned back to Gwen.

"Where do they find these servants now days?" she asked. "I mean yes, he saved Arthur, but his manners leave something to be desired" she said. Gwen smiled. And nodded.

"Yes, but then he is Arthur's servant" she said. Morgana raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Gwen, are you suggesting our Prince can be annoying?" she asked. Gwen's eyes went wide.

"no, no not at all" she said quickly, very quickly. Morgana sighed, and chuckled.

"Shame, I would have agreed with you" she said.

Gaius looked up as the door slammed open, and Merlin stormed in. He stood up, and went to him.

"What the devil happened to you?" he demanded, cupping Merlin's chin in his hand, turning his head so he could look at the bruise.

"Arthur" replied Merlin as Gaius let go. "Admittedly it was this or I'd be walking in here with my head under my arm" he added. Gaius frowned and shook his head.

"you know, it's been two weeks and you have been in here at least three times with some kind of injury or other" Gaius said turning away. Merlin nodded and winced as he sat down while Gaius gathered the items to treat the bruise.

"Oh, I also practically knocked Lady Morgana over" Merlin added, as Gaius turned back.

"Did you apologise?" he asked. Merlin shrugged.

"Kind of" he said. Gaius sighed and shook his head.

"You know, you're not going to last long here if you upset the royal household" Gaius chided him.

"That's bad how?" Merlin asked. Gaius pausing, looking at him. Merlin turned away.

"I mean, face it Gaius, you can't help me, not really, and I can't exactly go practicing all the stuff I'm learning in the book you gave me and expect to keep my head" he said. "Add to the fact Arthur is a total prat, Uther's been introduced to me three times and still calls me Marlow half the time even though I saved his son and Lady Morgana is about as approachable as a hormonal Dragon… the only person who's really got to know me is Gwen, and now I've just messed up her day more than likely" he said. Gaius looked at him a moment longer, then broke into laughter.

"It's not funny Gaius, I hate it here" Merlin said. Gaius shook his head, continuing to laugh. Merlin watching, before he too began to laugh. Finally it died down, Merlin wiping away tears of laughter. Gaius doing the same as he began to treat the bruise.

"I hope you never call Morgana that to her face" said Gaius. Merlin rested his good cheek in his hand.

"No, I'm not that stupid" he said at length. Gaius nodded as he finished tending the wound then sat back.

"so you hate it here?" he said at length.

"Some, but it's not like I have somewhere to go" Merlin said softly.

"You could return to Hunith" Gaius said. Merlin looked at him, but shook his head.

"No, I'd love to, but I'd be chased out again" he said.

"Why?" asked Gaius. Merlin frowned and shook his head.

"It's nothing, I just, I can't go back okay, and we'll leave it at that" he said. Gaius nodded, but looked unconvinced.

"Merlin, sooner or later, you will have to tell me what happened, you lasted nineteen years there with your magic, so something must have prompted this… exodus here" Gaius said as he stood. Merlin watching him. Slowly Merlin stood as well, moving to the door.

"Where are you going?" Gaius asked. Merlin opened the door, not looking back.

"Nowhere it seems" he said, before walking out. Gaius sighed, then moved back to the table, putting the items back.

"Enter" Morgana said at the knock on her door. Slowly it opened and Merlin walked in, looking briefly around he noticed Gwen's absence.

"Come to see if you can really knock me over?" asked Morgana with a frown, Merlin cleared his throat and stepped forwards.

"I came to apologise, I was out of order earlier. I've had a rough day" he said. Morgana slowly nodded.

"I can see" she said, looking at the bruise on his cheek. Merlin self-consciously raised a hand to it, and smiled.

"Yes, I'm just having a hard time here" he said, wondering why, of all the people he had said that comment too it would be Morgana.

"Arthur?" she asked, and was that a trace of sympathy in her voice. He shook his head.

"no, Just, I don't know where I fit in around here" he said, "I lived almost alone my entire life, and now I need to interact with people, and its difficult" he admitted.

"Why?" she asked gently. Merlin shrugged.

"I'm different" he said. Morgana frowned, then her eyes widened.

"Gwen might be disappointed to hear that" she said. Merlin looked at her quizzically, then his own eyes went wide.

"no, no, not like that" he said with a laugh. "I just guess its because of all the kids in our village I never had a father" he said. Morgana smiled and nodded.

"I see" she said, then turned away.

"May I ask you something?" Merlin asked her softly. Morgana turned back to him.

"of course" she replied.

"What was it like, growing up not knowing your parents?" he asked. Morgana turned away.

"It was… difficult, but you adapt, you make a new family" she said softly.

"even Arthur?" asked Merlin with a knowing grin. She looked at him and smiled. "Even Arthur" she agreed. Merlin took a deep breath, then bowed.

"Thank you" he said. Morgana frowned.

"For what?" she asked, honestly confused.

"For listening" he said. Morgana did smile now.

"Its no problem, I'm not always a hormonal Dragon you know" she said. Merlin's eyes went wide.

"I have to say, the insults Arthur gives me are nowhere near that good, its nice someone at least tried to be original" she replied with a laugh. "You know, you're not like most servants" she said. "its nice to have a breath of fresh air around here" she added. Merlin smiled as graciously as he could and then bowed, leaving the room. Outside he leant against the wall, silently chiding himself that Morgana had heard the nickname, and also privately pleased that he'd been so wrong about her. Finally, he began to realise that maybe he could be friends with royalty.

Far away on the Isle of the Blessed, Nimueh watched the exchange silently, smiling to herself.

"now this… this would certainly break Uther" she said with a grin. She held her hand over the font,

"éstas passiona þý burna" she intoned.

Morgana looked up as the window to her chamber blew open, frowning, as she felt something enter her. Shaking her head she put it out of her mind, obviously her mind was playing tricks. Outside in the corridor Merlin was walking away when he felt a cold breeze flow over him. Squinting he shook his head.

"What was that?" he mumbled to himself, looking up As Uther himself walked around the corner, pausing slightly as Merlin bowed.

"Something wrong Marlow- Merlin?" he said. Merlin looked up at him. "what happened to your face?" asked Uther. Merlin shook his head.

"Accident, I think I might be a little more hurt than I thought" he said. Uther nodded to him, then without another word strode past, knocking on Morgana's door, before entering. Merlin watched him go, then with another shake of his head, turned around and returned to the Pharmacy, Gaius looking up as he entered.

"Feeling better?" asked Gaius, looking at him. Merlin nodded, then smiled.

"Actually I feel great" he said, the smile becoming a grin, before he walked into his room, closing the door. Gaius watching him go, with a shrug, he turned back to his work.

"I wonder what today's new dilemma is" he muttered. A moment later he heard a splash of Water, and Merlin began to sing as he bathed. Gaius put his hands over his ears and frowned.

"Do you have to sing when you're bathing!" he called out.

"Sorry" called back Merlin shutting up. Gaius rolled his eyes then turned back to the book, when Merlin began humming again. Slowly Gaius blinked, picked up the book and sighed.

"I'm going to the Tavern, where I might get some peace and quiet!" he called out.

"Have fun, don't come back too late!" Merlin called. As he continued to splash as he washed. Gaius shook his head and left the room.