A/N: This is an uber random ficcy about coughcondomscough (: cuz I heard someone talking about it and I was thinking about how Raoul would react. so…

Disclaimer: I do not own Erik or Raoul… (: oh!

Erik = BOLD

Raoul = regular

Raoul looked at the alien box with great interest. He held up the small box between his thumb and forefinger to the level of his eyes.

"Du…rex…Durex! Safety condoms for men…" He read out from the box. "Hmmm…wonder what a "condom"…is" He thought aloud to himself. Just then, Erik walked in.

"What the hell are you doing with my condom?!"

"But what's a condom?"

"It's the thingy you're holding!"

"…the box?"

"No dumbass! The thing IN the box!"

"Oh! …what does is look like?"

"…I don't know…"

"But it's yours! How can you not know what it looks like?"

"Desserie bought it for me!!"

"Well, then open it!!"

"…fine."

-Erik opens up the box and holds up a strange looking rubber thingamajig-

"I think this is a condom" Erik looks at the tubing curiously.

"Looks like a test-tube, what's it for?"

"No…idea…"

"Didn't Desserie say anything?"

"She did say something…"

"About what?"

"Bed…and being careful…"

"Bed…hmmm…careful…hmmmmmm…"

"Why do you need to be careful on the bed?!"

"Shut up! I'm thinking!!"

"I think you're supposed to put it *there* so the lady won't get pregnant when you have *it*."

"Don't be stupid! Who would invent something like that? You sick minded pervert!"

"Sorry…I was just brain-storming…"

"Well, you suck at it!"

"Well! Then YOU suggest something!"

"Hey! Christmas is coming! So maybe, you're supposed to hang it up like a stocking so Santa Claus can put the presents inside! And, rubber is expandable so maybe it's a trick sort of stocking to get you more presents from Santa!"

"But what does that have to do with beds and being careful?!"

"Well, I heard Santa only comes when you're asleep…which is to go the bed and maybe…you need to be careful to make sure that Santa sees it?"

"Hmmm…fine. Okay…one for each of us and one for my darling Desserie."

-Both men head downstairs to fix up the condoms over the fireplace only to find that they have 2 extras-

"What now?! We have two extras!"

"I know!! Let's make balloon animals! They're like tubes! Quick!! Start blowing!!"

"YESSIR!"

-Both men grab a condom each and started blowing into it. Then, they started twisting it and Raoul ended up with a dash-hound condom-balloon whilst Erik ended up with a sword condom-balloon-

"Let's go show it to Desserie!"

"Okay!"

-Both men walked into Desserie's room while holding their respective condom balloons.-

"LOOK AT OUR BALLOONS!!" Both of them chimed in unison.

"Urks...uhm…WHAT THE HELL?!" Desserie stared jaw-dropped, too shocked to say or do anything else.

A/N: Too lazy to type/write anymore (:

(422 words)

Number of times said "Condom": 10 (: "JIN SUAI" XD

This ficcy practically revolves around condoms. XDD