"It was all her fault. She didn't mean for it to happen, she should have been able to stop it. She is sorry, so very sorry." The rest of the crew just stared at her, not quite sure how to react. Out of all the possibilities they have calculated, this was not one of them.

Zoe is the only one who is brave enough to touch her. She is lifted away, and Zoe hugs her close as she leads her to the showers. So much blood. Her hair, her clothes, her hands, all of her covered in blood. She knows no matter how hard she scrubs, the blood will not wash away. She doesn't want it to wash away. It is her fault and she must remember.

"Now bao bei, come on," Jayne says as River begins to nibble on his ear. God he loves when she does that. "We're supposed to be lookin' out for Zo and Mal comin' with the loot."

Pushing herself closer into his body, if that was even possible, River whispered, "But my Jayne shot the bad man down, shot him to the ground, and you don't reeaallly want me to stop." With a growl, that made her giggle, Jayne captured her lips, and the whole world fell away. Their kisses were always passionate yet sweet, demanding yet patient.

Lost in each other, they didn't notice that they weren't alone any longer. They didn't hear the cocking of a gun. They did, however, hear the trigger. River was fast, but in this instant Jayne was faster. He twirled her around just in time for the bullet to pierce his heart.

As Jayne fell, a look of shock on his face, he grabbed Ginny and shot the assailant, who was holding his side, through the eye. River screamed. She tried to put pressure on his wound as the others came running, but it was for naught. Simon took one look at Jayne's limp body and knew there was nothing he could do. When he tried to move her, she just held Jayne's body closer, rocking, and apologizing over and over, as if it would bring him back.

She watches the blood flow down the drain, but can still feel it sticking to her flesh. She can still see the red under her fingernails. No matter what she does or where she goes, she is chased by death. She is not allowed to be happy. She is numb. For all she was, for all they made her to be, she was nothing. She was alone. She was done and now maybe the world would be safer because of it.