Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned or manipulated in this story. The plot, however, is my own, and I would like for it to stay that way. I make no profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I got this idea a while ago and I've been trying to make a decent story from it. (The first draft was absolutely awful and everyone who looked at it got horribly confused!) Anyways, I hope you like it. I've got a couple of warnings coming up so I suggest you read those.
Warnings: There is SLASH! Yes, SLASH! SLASH, SLASH, SLASH, SLASH! I hope you get the idea. Though it may not seem like it at first, this is a Harry/Draco focused fic. There are other slash pairings (and some lesbian ones) but I won't go into as much detail for those. I usually like to do rather heavy sex scenes but since this is I'll either post the heavier love-making scenes on another website or on my homepage. Anyways, whenever a lemon is present in my story, you will be warned at the beginning of the chapter. There's nothing more than a teeny bit of chaste kissing and not-so-chaste licking in this one. Neither act involves Harry or Draco, though. Sorry.
Undercover Queers and the Homophobic Society
Chapter One: A Menagerie of Cats, Queers, and Shopkeepers' Daughters
Although September had just started, the air was unusually chilly. This morning, as Ginny and I left the mansion we shared with a number of friends, a scarf was thrown at me.
"Where do you think you are going without proper outerwear?" Hermione looked at me sternly. "Imagine! It would be just like you to die from a cold after defeating the darkest wizard of our time!"
"Sorry, Hermione, I won't forget my scarf again." I looked behind her at Ron, who merely shrugged an apology. I shrugged in return. Hermione had always been health conscientious. Everyone was used to it by now.
I waved goodbye and turned towards Ginny. We walked down towards the outer limits of the wards with her arm looped around my own.
"I don't really need a scarf, you know. It's not that chilly." I pulled the scarf tighter around my neck as a particularly cold gust of wind blew towards us.
"You're lucky, you know. As I was leaving, Hermione threw three scarves at me! I'm baking right now!" I looked at her. She stood at least a foot shorter than me. Beneath her pretty red hair, I saw three thick scarves, each a different, very vibrant color. The elves must have rejected Hermione's scarves again, I figured. When we reached the outside of the wards, Ginny let go of my arm.
"I'll race you to Florean Fortescue's," she grinned impishly. I couldn't help but grin back.
"Loser makes dinner," I dared. "For everyone."
"Well, then. You'd better be a damn good cook, Mr. Potter, because you, my friend, are going to lose this race." And with that, she apparated.
"Hey!" I yelled, and then apparated myself to the Leaky Cauldron, as well, If I was lucky, I would make it there before her.
With a loud POP I appeared in the Leaky Cauldron, just in time to see Ginny's red hair flip through the doorway leading to Diagon Alley.
"Hi, Tom!" I said to the landlord as I ran after Ginny.
I ran as fast as I could but found the entrance to Diagon Alley closed. Damn! She must have gotten through already. I hit the proper stones as quickly as I could without messing up and ran out onto the street. I nearly toppled a woman who was carrying a large number of bags and two children.
"Sorry!" I called as I kept running. I could hear her mumble something about 'crazy kids' as I left her behind. I looked ahead of me and saw Ginny nearly run over an old man. She turned her head to apologize but saw me and kept running. I was gaining on her.
Just as I was close enough to reach out and touch her hair, I saw her point her wand at me and before I could react, I tripped over something that wasn't there. By the time I managed to re-orient myself, I saw her run into the ice cream shop.
I walked the rest of the way, since I had obviously lost and there was no point in running anymore and when I got to her, I glared.
"You cheated," I said, "twice."
"No, I didn't," she was out of breath and panting heavily. "All's fair in love and, er, food."
I let her catch her breath before she spoke again.
"Your cooking's awesome, Harry. I'm sure everyone will be happy that I won this race." I couldn't help but grin. I took pride in my cooking abilities.
"Come on; let's go do what we came here for." Ginny's arm found its way around my own again and our fingers intertwined.
"How about this one?" Ginny was pointing to a rather mangy-looking cat that looked bored and was eyeing Ginny's finger hungrily.
"I don't know, Ginny. I'm not sure she'd like that one." There were mats in its fur and it looked as though it had been picked up out of a dumpster. Besides, its nameplate said, Vicious. I just wanted to get Ginny away from it before it attacked her finger.
"Let's ask the lady at the desk if there's anything else that Hermione might want."
Ginny and I were in Magical Menagerie, looking for Hermione's birthday present. The whole gang was going to throw her a surprise birthday party later tonight. It had been very hard keeping the plans from her. Ron, especially, had difficulty. Ginny had to put a charm on him to prevent him from spilling the beans. Ginny and I had decided to get her a new cat as Crookshanks had passed away just over a year ago. We weren't having much luck, though.
"Excuse me? Is anyone there?" Ginny rang the little bell on the table and leaned over the counter in hopes that she would see someone in the back.
I heard noises and several meows and – was that an elephant? – before a rather slender woman emerged from the back room.
"Why, hello. How are you folks tod– " She stopped suddenly when she saw who we were.
"What a pleasure it is to meet you, Mr. Potter," she eyes were locked on me but she pulled them away slowly to look at Ginny. "And your lovely new wife! Congratulations! To the both of you!"
"Thank you, ma'am." Ginny smiled but she missed the small glare the shopkeeper sent her way.
"Oh no, don't call me ma'am! I mustn't be any older than the two of you. And I'm not married yet." She shot a glance my way. "I'm just helping my mother with the shop for a few weeks!"
"How generous of you!" Ginny seemed to like this girl. I didn't, though. But, then again, I didn't like many girls.
"We're looking for a gift for a friend, actually," I interrupted.
"Oh, really?" Her attention was back on me. "Anything in particular?"
"Yes, actually," Ginny again. "We want to get her a cat."
"Do you have anything that's not wanted by anyone else?" I asked. The woman looked at me quizzically.
"Are you sure this is for a friend?"
"Yes," Ginny said, "she's always been one to help those less fortunate than herself. She would prefer a cat that is less likely to get a nice home."
"Your friend is very kind-hearted. May I ask the occasion?"
"Her birthday," I said. "Could you please show us some cats?"
The woman nodded and led us towards the opposite corner of the store, where Vicious was.
"A cat other than Vicious, if you please." I really did not like that cat.
"Of course, if you would wait just one moment. I may have a cat that your dear friend would just love." The shopkeeper disappeared into the back.
"You really don't like that cat, do you?" Ginny grinned at me.
"Nope," I said, "If you ask me, that cat would not hesitate to rip my throat out in my sleep." Ginny laughed. I smiled at her.
"Ahem."
I turned around and the shopkeeper was back with a cage. She looked annoyed.
"I think that this cat would be perfect for your friend." She placed the cage on the counter and opened it. She reached in carefully and pulled out an old long-haired cat.
"Oh, it's beautiful!" Ginny exclaimed. I looked at the cat and couldn't argue. It really was. It was cream-colored with bits of grey here and there. If I had to guess, I would say that it was Siamese.
"What breed?" Ginny asked.
"It's a mix," the woman answered. "A Persian-Siamese mix, I think. It's a girl, by the way." Well, I was half right
"She's beautiful! Why doesn't anyone want her?" Ginny looked into the cat's blue eyes.
"It's because she's missing a leg. Everyone thinks she'd be a burden. We were actually going to put her down if nobody bought her by tomorrow." The woman frowned. I hadn't even noticed it was missing a leg.
"Missing a leg! That's no reason not to pick her! She's gorgeous!" Ginny was in love. That's when I decided. If Ginny loved it, then Hermione would, too.
"We'll take it," I said.
"So, she doesn't have a name, huh?" Ginny said. "I'm sure Hermione will pick out a name that's lovely enough for this beauty."
Ginny had the cat – which, I must say, cost a pretty penny – in its cage and was careful not to swing the cage about and startle the cat. Ginny grabbed my hand.
"I think Hermione will love her. Don't you?" Before I could answer, she was speaking again. "Oh, I should pay you back for half of it, don't you think?"
"It's fine, Ginny," I said, "You need do no such thing."
"But I feel bad giving her a present that technically isn't from me." Ginny frowned.
"You picked it out, Ginny. In essence, you contributed the most." Ginny looked up at me and I felt a tight squeeze on my hand. Ginny said nothing.
"Ginny, you're welcome." She smiled.
"We're back!" Ginny yelled as we entered the mansion we shared with our friends. She placed the cage on the floor. I had cast a disillusionment charm on it to make it look like a regular shopping bag. While Ginny struggled with her scarves, a number of faces greeted us. Hermione, Ron, and Luna all stood in the doorway. They all had smiles on their faces but both Luna and Ron knew why Ginny and I had gone out. Hermione, I guess, was just happy to see us.
"What did you go out for?" Hermione asked, curious as usual.
"Not much, really," Ginny answered while unbuttoning her jacket. "Just wanted to go out is all. I picked up a gift for Mum at Flourish and Blott's. A couple of fancy quills." Hermione didn't ask any more questions. Quills weren't all that exciting after all. That is, unless they meowed.
"What was that?" Hermione asked at the sound. Ginny, of course, was prepared with a cover story.
"Oh, Harry and I went to that new candy shop, you know the one, and he tried a couple of candies. I told him to be careful, but he didn't listen to me and he's been meowing since we left." Ron chuckled. I glared. Ginny, now free of all stifling outerwear, grabbed her shopping bag.
"I'm going to put this upstairs. I'll be down in a jiffy," she said. "Thanks, Harry, for taking me out." She stood on her tiptoes and planted a light kiss on my cheek. Ron and Hermione left the room and I started to unbutton my own jacket. Ginny neared Luna on the stairs and gave her a nice chaste kiss on the lips.
"Welcome back, Ginny," Luna said. "Mind if I come up and see those fancy quills you bought? You know how I've always loved quills." Ginny laughed and they both walked up the stairs, talking quietly to each other.
I hung my jacket up in the hallway closet and searched for Ron and Hermione; they were both in the kitchen.
"You shouldn't eat now, Ronald! It's so close to dinnertime!" Hermione was chastising Ron who had his mouth full of something that was unrecognizable but smelled strongly like peanut butter. There may have been a bit of bread there, as well, but it was hard to tell.
I pulled out one of the bar stools and dipped my finger in the open jar of peanut butter. I got quite a bit and stuck my finger in my mouth to lick it off. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Really! You men are so disgusting sometimes, you know that? I don't think I want to eat that peanut butter anymore!" Ron smiled.
"That's alright, Hermione, that way there's more for Harry and I." I grinned and Hermione looked about ready to explode. I almost feared that she would smash what was left of the peanut butter onto Ron's head. Instead, she merely rolled her eyes.
"My stupid husband," she said and played with the ring on her left hand. Ron merely grinned and ate more peanut butter.
"Where're Draco, Pansy, and Blaise?" I asked with trouble. My tongue was currently stuck to the top of my mouth.
"They've gone out," Hermione frowned. "They should be back soon. Anyways, did you have fun shopping with Ginny?"
I tried to answer, but since I had taken another large mouthful of peanut butter out of the jar, my tongue was irrevocably and eternally stuck to the top of my mouth. All I could manage was, "Mhmhm…mhm."
Hermione sighed, looked at both Ron and I, looked at the half-empty peanut butter jar, looked back at me, sighed again, sat down at the bar stool next to me, stuck her finger in the jar, and licked the peanut butter off her mouth. I cheered.
"'nd you shed mhen were grossh!" The fact that Ron managed to say that much at all impressed me. Hermione glared at him and smeared peanut butter across his face. I couldn't help but laugh. That is, until I got a nice face-full of peanut butter myself. I looked at Ron, who had a mischievous smile on his face. I grinned. This was war.
"Hey! Is anybody here?" I heard the back door slam shut.
"Be careful, you big oaf!" Pansy's voice was unmistakable. I could also hear the voices of Draco and Blaise. There was also a lot of shuffling and then a crash was heard.
"Blaise!" Both Pansy and Draco yelled at the same time. Blaise had an odd habit of being rather clumsy. He was even clumsier than me sometimes.
I looked at both Ron and Hermione, who both had peanut butter smeared all over their faces and necks. Judging by the weird sticky stuff I felt on my face, I figured I looked very much like them.
Footsteps could be heard nearing the kitchen. I looked to Hermione who quickly cast a cleaning spell upon herself. I was about to do the same when a voice was heard from the kitchen door.
"Ugh! What the hell were you two doing in here? You look gross!" Draco's nose was scrunched up and he seemed to be unable to move any closer to us than the doorway.
Pansy pushed past him, threw a disgusted look my way – I grinned sheepishly at her, and she rolled her eyes, but smiled back – and made her way towards Hermione.
"Boys," Hermione said, "What can you expect?" She smiled as Pansy kissed her on the lips. "Welcome back, love." Both Ron and I sent a glare her way. Hermione was just as messy as us not fifty seconds ago!
Ron pulled out his wand and attempted to cast a self-cleaning spell, as well.
"Oh, don't do that," Blaise said, "I was always rather fond of peanut butter." Blaise set his shopping bags on the ground and leaned towards Ron. He then proceeded to lick some of the peanut butter off Ron's cheek. "I never realized you were so kinky, Ronnie baby. I just got some great ideas for later tonight." Blaise smiled and Ron's blush could be seen even through the thick layer of peanut butter on most parts of his face.
I looked at Draco, and lifted my eyebrow suggestively.
"Oh hell no," was his response. "There is no way I'm even touching you, Harry, when you've got that crap all over your face." I frowned.
"You will go upstairs and shower right now," Draco had set his bags on the floor but refused to come any closer. I smiled at him in what I hoped was a seductive way. He didn't budge. Seductive? Apparently not. Draco's last word only reiterated my seductive-ness-less
"Alone."
A/N: I am well aware that all my characters are homosexually inclined and that the chances of that happening in real life are slim to none. Please don't flame me on that fact, because I'm already well aware of it and will merely ignore you.
I am also aware that more than a few of you may be confused by what's going on so far. The next chapter should clarify the situation as it's rather complicated.
Anyways, this chapter has not been beta'd. If anyone wants to volunteer to beta my fic (and can show me that they have experience), that would be wonderful! I have not yet written the next chapter, but hope to soon. Please bear with me as my life usually gets the better of me, but I will absolutely do my best to make sure this fic is completed in a decent amount of time.
I don't know how long this will be, but I already have a plan for the whole story, so I have a guideline and know what will happen at the end. However, just because I've already got a guideline, doesn't mean that you can't add your suggestions. I've been playing with the idea of switching this fic from first person narrative to third person semi-omniscient. Please let me know what you think. Each POV has its own advantages and disadvantages.
By the way, I mentioned reader suggestions earlier. I need a name for Hermione's cat. Remember that it's a girl. I would prefer a name that has some sort of significance to Hermione, but any suggestion is welcome.
If there are any questions as to what's going on or if people would like some more background information that would help them understand my story better, please let me know, and I will do my best to include it in the next chapter.
Hope you enjoyed!
fireproof potatoes
