Hi people! Here's another one-shot thing. I hope you'll like it.
It's called "More Than Myself" and it's a bit sad.
Enjoy!
And, yeah, I don't own Twilight... As much as I wanted that I did. *giggles*
Edward's POV
I was just heading out from the hospital when I spoted my sister Alice leaned into my car, a weird expression at her face. She seemed... Off. I frowned. What's up with her? Of course I knew that she haven't be my biggest fan since the end of my relationship with Bella, but She never was that serious... I mean, EVER.
As I got closer to where she were, she stood up and turn in my direction, still very serious. It was like she didn't wanted to give away her real emotions. That got me worried. What was going on here?
"Hey sis. You're okay? Did something happened?", I asked, almost stumbling with my words.
Out of nowhere, Alice's face got very angry and, before I could react, she slapped with full force in the face. Don't fool yourself that it couldn't be much force, seeing that Alice was so tiny and delicate, but that pixie that I so call sister it's surprisingly strong.
My face was burning with the contact, and when I looked at Alice's face, her anger was still very clear, but was also pain, in there. It felt like a knife going throught my guts. Oh God, what happened?
"Ouch, Alice! What was that for?", I asked, still feeling my face aching from her previous action.
"Did it hurt?", She asked, not sounding in anyway sorry for what she just did. I frowned some more. What heck is going on with her?
"Of course it did! Can't you count five finger in my face, right now? Because if you can't, sure as hell feels like you should be able to.", I complained "Whata fuck, Alice? What has got into you?"
She slapped me again. "ALICE!", I yelled at her.
Her eyes got insanely wide, filled with tears as she got even closer to me, pointing her index finger at my face. "Don't you dare, Edward! Don't you even dare to try to lecture me now about pain. You have no idea what you would be talking about. Not even the faintest idea of what would you be talking about, so don't you dare complied with me about what I'm doing to you. Because...", she ran out of air, at this point, her sadness getting the best of her. She was already pouting, as she always used to do when she was a little girl and she was devastated about something. It broke my heart. "... you need to feel it. You need to feel something, Edward. Because... I... I...", she seemed to stutter a little, as tears streamed down her face. "I can't do it. I can't just sit back and watch you ruin your life." she said, not looking at me anymore, rummaging through her purse, searching for something.
She took something out of it, handing it to me, still in sobs. "Here. This is for you. I... I...", her sobs were making extremely difficult for her to keep talking. " I wasn't supposed to... to give yo... you this 'til tomorrow, but I can't." she shrugged sheepishly, seeming even more little that she already was. I got the papper from her shaky hand and hugged her tight, trying somehow smooth her pain. "I had to do something... I just had, Edward. And this is my last hope. I didn't know what to do anymore...", she sobbed even more.
I started to run my fingers throught her hair, keeping her close to my chest, trying to make her feel a little better. She could know that way that I was here for her. "Sshh.. It's okay, Alice. It's okay. I'm here. Do you want me to read it right now?" I asked, not letting her go from my embrace.
"Yeah. I looked for you all over town to tell you this, but I wasn't able to find you anywhere, until I saw dad and he told me that you were still here.", she said to me, really anxious. I frowned again.
"What did you wanted me to know so baddly, Alice?", I asked in confusion. What did I need it to know that would hurt her that much?
Alice took a deep breath, obviously hesitating to tell me, now that she had found me. I insisted. "What, Alice? Tell me!", I said as I grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at me.
"Bella moved out. She is going back to Phoenix.", she blurted out.
I frozed, my face getting more and more pale by the second. No... This couldn't be right. But, now, thinking it throught, Alice's reaction did made sense. " What? No, that's not possible. Why would you saying something like that?"
She shook her head, more tears rolling down her face. "Because it's the truth, Edward." She said to me, still looking into my eyes. I felt all my body trembling as soon as the words were out of her lips. My knees went weak and I had to recline on the volvo so I would fall. I couldn't look at Alice's face right know. My mind was flooded with all my memories with Bella, here, in Forks. My eyes were starting to get filled with tears when I finally spoke to my sister once more, the paper in my hand nearly crushed, now, with my mixture of sadness and anger. Bella was leaving and she wasn't planning to say goodbye to me? Worst. She wasn't even going tell me?
"When?", I asked, my voice barely keeping my feelings in check.
"Tonight...", my little sister said, as she looked at her watch, "Actually, she was supposed to live the house about thirty minutes ago. She's probably on her way to the airport right now, Edward. Her flight leaves from Port Angeles at 11pm. It's already nine thirty.", she said, her stress clearly mirroring mine.
"Why, Alice?", I asked, my voice just above a whisper. Alice had knocked the air out of my lungs with those words. I was scanning my brain for a solution. What do I do? What do I do? I need to stop her.
"A number of things, Edward. Since you two broke up, she haven't been well. She was not her, anymore. And then, about a week ago, she was at the dinner that you guys always used to go and she heard Tanya saying all about how you kissed her and how you were together now and...", Alice said it all at once, but I had to stop her right there. WHAT?
"Wait, what, Alice? Tanya said what?", I asked, standing up very quickly. I was almost loosing my temper.
"That you two were a couple now, and Bella didn't took it very well.", Alice said, looking at me confused.
"But that's a lie! A big, fat and stupid lie!", I snaped, getting a little mad with Bella. How could she believed in this? "And she believed it, Alice? Bella believed in Tanya?"
"It is? Well, no. None of us did, but that was until...", she said, her voice tralling off as she remembered the situation.
"Until what, Alice?", I asked angrily."That was until what?"
"Until we both went to your place to ask you about it and, when we were about to park my car in the sidewalk, we saw her kissing you, at your front door.", she finished her sentence. "You guys are not together?", she looked at me, puzzled.
"Of course not! I love Bella, Alice! It had always been her and just her! Tanya and I... We kissed, yes. But just twice. Actually, she kissed me. You know how she is!", I replied, pacing back and forth.
"Edward, you've got to tell her that. You've got to go after. Now!", Alice said, eyes wide.
"And you?", I asked, realising now that I didn't know how she had got here.
"Don't worry about me! Jasper is in the hospital, looking for you. Now GO!", she said, pushing my back for me to get in the car.
"Thanks, Alice!", I breathed out, before starting the engine.
"No, do not thank me yet! Go get her first!", she said, beating on the hood of the car as I leave the parking lot.
I had no memory if me driving this fast since I was a teenager. And I couldn't care less about speed tickets or whatever. I had go get Bella back. She can't leave Forks. Hell! She can't leave me!
I didn't dare to look at how fast I was going. Everything out of the windows were just a blur. Thank God at least wasn't raining today, in Forks. That would have complicated things even more. I looked quickly at the paper, still wrapped in my right hand, realizing that I still didn't read it. What was in there? What could she possibly been saying to me?, I asked myself. But I had no time. I had to get to airport in Port Angeles first.
I headed north on S Forks Ave/US-101 N, toward the W Division St and then continued to follow US-101 N. Through all the way, flashes of my moments with Bella were the only thing that I had in mind. Her laugh, her adorable blush, her chocolate brown eyes that always seemed to look right into my soul, her luxious smell which has always been my downfall, my weakness. I couldn't let her go. I still hoped that the things between us would work out. The thought of loosing Bella like this, maybe never see her again, was too much to handle. I couldn't let her go. I just couldn't... She'll have to listen to me. Just this once, she'll have to!
I turned right at E 1st St. Closer now, I thought with myself.
As soon as I parked my car in the first place that I saw in front of the airport. I closed the door and ran into the place as fast as I could, not caring with what people were thinking about the way that I was acting. This didn't matter. They didn't mattered. Just Bella.
My heart was pouding so fast and so hard in my chest that was like it was trying to get itself out of my rib cage, while I tried to figure out where she would be by now. I ran in the direction to the departure gates, hoping that I was still in time, that she still didn't had got into the plane yet.
Don't go, Bella! Please! You can't leave me like this! Bella, please!, I was screaming in my mind, hoping that it would make her wait for me, that she would get in the plane before I got there.
At that moment, the speaker annouced the worst words that I could ever think of for a moment like this. It was the last call to her flight. I got despered when I spoted the line of people getting in plane. Where is she? Where is she?
I started to scream for her, hoping that she would listen, as soon as I saw her mobing in the line. I was still too far. "Bella! Bella, please! Bella! Look at me!", the people got startled wherever I passed by. But Bella didn't seemed to have listen. "Bella, baby! Look at me! It's me, Edward! BELLA!!", I shouted, hoping that she would heard me this time around.
She didn't. When I was finally getting close to her so she could finally hear me, she handed her ticket and got in. I couldn't believe it. She was gone...
I feel on my knees, crying like a baby, like my life was about to end. And it was. She was gone... My Bella had left me. And she didn't even said goodbye.
Between my sobs, still not caring about people stares, I remembered the paper that Alice had broughted to me. Wiping the tears from my face as better as it was possible, I opened it.
"Dear Edward,
I'm sorry for doing it this way, but I didn't had the strength to tell you everything that I needed face to face. Not anymore. I know that you deserved more than this, but I just couldn't. It would had hurt so much more...
I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. That everything that we went throught together was finished, once for all. I heard that you moved on... And, if you're really happy with Tanya, so, I'm happy for you too... I guess... I want you to know that I'm not bitter any more, because I realize that what we had was the real thing. And if, in some distant place in the future, we happen to see each other again in our new paths, I hope that I'll be able to smile at you with joy and remember how we spent all those years of our lives learning from each other what was love about and everything that came with the package.
We grow up together, and I'm very grateful to you for everything wonderfull thing that you showed me. But I done crying about the end. That's not right of me and for that, I'm incredibly sorry. Sorry that I couldn't talk to you about it. I'm sorry that I can't stay and support your happiness. But I have my reasons... Well, just one.
I love you, Edward. So much that it hurts. And I now realize that this was probably what went wrong between us. I loved you even more that I loved myself. But still I love you, Edward. And that's the truth.
I'm not really sure about what am I going to do from now on, but I can't stay in Forks anymore. I'm sorry. I know that I sound like a coward - and maybe I am - but I just think that it would be better for everyone if I just leave.
So I'm departing tonight. I'm going to Phoenix first, stay with my mom for a while and try to figure out my next step.
I hope you can forgive me for the way I left. I just couldn't say goodbye to you in person.
Have in that I'll never forget you and I always wish you well.
You are always going to be my first love, my best friend and the man of my dreams.
I'll be seeing you.
Love,
B x"
As soon as I finish her letter, I had made my mind. I flipped my phone open when I realize that I was getting a call. I looked it the caller ID. It was Alice.
"Did you reached her?", she blurted out before I could said anything.
I sighed, "I didn't get here in time." she gasp at the end of the line and then I continued to talk. If Bella thinks that she could get away from me that easily... "Alice... I need you help."
So, that's it, everyone! =D I hope you guys have liked it.
I know I did! =D
Let me know what you think?
REVIEW!
A x
