The story you are about to read is party based on my experience of this eating disorder I live with everyday.

I recognize I have it but please I do not want this to be a trigger so if you or anyone has an eating disorder please i urge you to get help.

Anorexia and Bulimia is not fun, it takes over you and your life...with that said this story is a MOE and a NILLY.

So yeah if you don't like the couple please read the story I hope this will touch some of you.

Thanks so much and please review.

^_^


"You don't understand I just want to be perfect."Miley said as she avoided Joe's eyes. Joe took a deep breath afraid of the answer to his question."What's your idea of perfect?" Rated T for Eating ,NILEY.

disclaimer: I do not own anything. Google, Panda Express, and FYI THIS FIC IS LEGAL it's JOE GRAY and NICK GRAY ;]

Chapter 1: That Single Comment

I was 16,when it all happened. You see my story isn't one people like to share.

The movies,books, ect. only explain the bad side of it, never the good. I saw the beauty of it. I saw the happiness.

That was almost 2 years ago....

BBBBBBBB

Lily and Nick stood in front of the grave. Three yellow flowers were by the grave and Lily's eyes watered up.

"Lily?"Nick asked as he noticed his girlfriend tearing up.

"I'm fine,i'm fine. I should be the one that's stronger." Lily choaked. Nick grabbed her and embraced her in a hug when

he saw a car pull up.

"The fantastic four are all together..."Lily smiled softly.

Nick didn't think that person would show up. It was too soon it was-

Around 2 Years AGO.

Miley POV

"Lily."I said but I don't think she could hear me. I looked around and saw all the sale signs up. Well duh we are in the mall

durring Christmas season.

"Gosh you think he will be busy?"Lily asked me as she came to me with two jackets.

"Lemme guess...Nick?"I asked with a sly smile on my face.

Yeah most girls would kill if thier best friend dated thier long time ex but not me. Me and Nick started dating around when I was 13 up until I was 15. We ended things kinda rocky but since me,Lily,Joe,and Nick have been the fantastic four since we were little.

Of course while me and Nick were dating we tried to get Lily and Joe to hook up. Yeah they had several dates, were together one week here one week there. But overall it was just a flirty thing that they shared. Also I knew Lily had liked Nick, and vise versa.

She finally had the guts to spill itto me on my birthday after I caught her and hime share a smile...cute. Why didn't I mind this because maybe a cute older,funny,charming,child-at-heart boy had caught my eye...

"Yeah, you think he would like it?"Lily asked me as she held the gray jacket up.

"Hmmm."I stared at it. Lily's face then turned into horror.

"Gosh this is awkward isn't it?"Lily peeped.

"No Lils!"I said as I hugged her and she looked in my eyes.

"I am completely fine with it. We've all been friends since we were small, you really think I would lie

to you?" I asked her.

She cocked her brow before smiling,"Thanks Mi."

"No problem and yes I would so go for the Grey. You know mister Nick Gray better than I do." I laughed. Lily smiled as she

paid for the jacket.

We walked out of the store when something yummer than Daddy's smoked ribs on a hot summer smell caught my attention.

"Lil?"I asked, as I looked she has smelled what I has smelled.

"Food court?"Lily asked.

"Let's go." I smiled. One thing I loved about Lily she could eat like me.

We rushed over and saw what we were smelling....PANDA EXPRESSS!

"I've been craving kung pow chicken for like days!"Lily said as we looked at the menu.

"Yeah seriously when I sleep I think I saw Chow Mein."I laughed as we both waited for our turn.

"Want to be a famous singer?"

I stopped and looked up at the t.v the mall had. I knew these ads were phoney but whenever famous and singer

were in the same sentence consider me listening.

"Yeah!"I answered.

"Miley.."Lily said before I shhh-ed her.

"Well now's your chance Hollywood Records would like to give you a chance ti become a star. December 30th come and join

us in Los Angeles at paramount studio's as we have a walk in..to see if you have the stuff. Remember the best of the best 11:00am get there early."

My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't wait I had always wanted to be a famous singer! This could be my golden opportunity!

"Lily we have to go!" I begged her.

"Isn't that the same record company Nick,Kevin, and Joe have an auidtion for?" Lily asked.

"Yes,maybe, I don't know, Lily, let's go! We have to!" I said excitedly.

"For once Truscott is on the right track."

I felt a vein burst in my head. The only voice that could ruin my day.

"What do you mean Amber?"I asked as I saw the two stupid ditzy girls approach us.

"Didn't you hear? The best of the best, meaning perfect, good singers...may I go on?" Amber asked.

"Yeah and like Amber is all of those."Ashley said like an little puppy.

"Well it so happens that Miley has an amazing voice and she can do it!" Lily said as she defended me.

"Is that right?"Amber asked.

"So right!" I said as I felt the fury rage inside of me.

Amber and Ashley laughed.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked annoyed of thier laughter.

"Well even if she has a good voice which i doubt, she isn't the best of the best." Amber said snobbishly.

"She is better than best!" Lily said angrily.

"Ha, look in magazines the most popular stars are two things, pretty and skinny. They are alwats exercising and on diets. Look where you two fatasses are, in line for panda expresss like one meal is almost 2,000 calories, how do you expect to impress a Hollywood Record producer when Miley gained at least 5 to 10 pounds durring this vacation?" Amber asked.

"Talk about a load."Ashley said as they both giggled.

This was different. Usually when Amber and Ashley said something like this to me and Lily I would ignore it but my heart feels like it dropped down to the floor. My cheeks are getting warmer and I think my eyes are starting to get watery. It was true how in the hell was I going to impress this agent if I gained so much weight?

"Oh shut up Amber your right you did loose weight? So Ashley has Amber been eating less or throwing up more?"Lily shot

back at them.

"Eating less silly.."Ashley smiled as she turned to Amber who had a furious look on her face.

"Ashley!"Amber shouted. Ashley squeaked as they walked away leaving Lily laughing.

"Oh man Miley did you see the look on thier faces?"Lily asked.

"Yeah."I said trying to smile. I don't know why even though Amber and Ashley got humiliated I couldn't scratch off the fact of what Amber said had I really gained that much weight? I mean it was Holiday season I do know that but...

"Miley!" Lily said. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Lily who pointed to the Panda Express register we were next.

"Oh you order first i'm still deciding."I said.

"Sure thing." Lily smiled.

I looked at all the food and it did look appealing but the only thing I could see was calories and I looked at my stomach. It used to be compleetely flat but now there was a little bump....how could I let this happen? How long have I been like this? Did Lily know about this? Did Joe?

"Milez!" Lily shouted again.

"Huh?"I asked.

"Your turn to order."Lily said a little irrated at my day dreaming. I smiled and looked at the food.

"You know what it's okay, I just want a side order of white rice."I said as the guy smiled and began to get my food.

"Um did my best friend justget kidnapped by an alien or did you just order the plainest thing on the menu?"Lily asked.

"No Lil i'm not an alien, i'm just not that hungry."I answered.

Lily stood quiet for a moment and then a worried look plastered on her face.

"What?"I asked prepared for what was to come.

"Did Amber and Ashley's comment really get to you?"She asked me. For some strange reason I began to get nervous. I mean I wouldn;t lie to her I would say yeah it did get to me.

"No, are you kidding. I'm just angrier than Aunt Dolly when she figured out Mamaw had tooken her nail polish." I lied. Why the hell am I lying to my best friend?

"Okay." Lily said as we went to go sit down and eat.

Later that night.

What a better way to end a bad day than sitting on the couch right next to Joe Gray? We were watching the invasion and Joe was laughing at all the scary parts. Lily of course got annoyed however I found it very cute.

"Well that movie was awesome besides a certain someone laughing at all the wrong parts."Lily said to Nick but it was directed at Joe.

"Yeah I wonder who that certain somone was?"Joe said sarcastically. Nick cocked his eyebrow at me and I did too they were gunna have another one of thier play fights again, though it may sound weird it made me a little jealous.

"Well it looks like we have to go Joe." Nick said.

Joe then gave a sly smile at Lily,"Awe I was thinking we could watch another movie."

Lily got frurstaed nd threw a pillow at his face.

"Hey!"Joe laughed as he threw it back at her.

"Okay, that's enough."Nick said standing inbetween the two.

Joe smirked and stuck his tounge out at Lily.

Lily's mouth opened and before she could say anything Nick saved the day.

"Lily let me walk you home."Nick said to her making her cheeks flush a little bright pink.

"Yeah you do that who knows she could get lost."Joe teased.

"Joe stop acting like a two year old, and since you decided to act immature tonight you have to help me clean up."I said with an evil look on my face.

"Awh, fine."Joe said in defeat as Nick and Lily were already on thier way to the door.

"Night Miles, Joe!"Lily said before opening the door.

"Bye Miley, see you at home."Nick said goodbye as he closed the door.

"They so like each other."We both said at the same time. My heart began to beat faster as he actually was doing a good job cleaning.

"Yeah I mean I think they make a good match."Joe said as he picked up some pop corn.

"Why so?"I asked cointinuing the conversation.

"Well Nick like girls who can keep up and we both know Lily is a fire cracker, always playing sports, Nick likes that, no wonder she never gains a pound."Joe said.

.

.

My heart stopped. Joe thought Lily was skinny. Did he still like her? Did he think I was skinny?

"Yeah I mean how many other girls can eat all they want and not gain a thing?"I laughed. He had to say me! I mean if he didn't say me then that means Amber was right...Oh no why does this bother me so much?

"Yeah Lily is one of the only ones I know."Joe said casually as he finished cleaning up.

At that moment I felt my cheeks burn so hot and my jaw hurt a little bit and I felt my eyes get watery I quickly wiped my tears aaway and tried to calm down. I never got so emotional before.

"Mi?"Joe asked after my silence.

"Sorry about that." I yawned, hoping that would cover up why I had teary eyes.

"It's okay. You okay you seem a little...off today."Joe said as he began to walk towards me.

"Yeah I'm fine."I lied. Joe then stood in front of me and smiled." Okay i'll take your lie tonight since you're tired

but next time I won't let you off so easy."

I smiled and looked up at him."Okay."

We stood there for about 30 seconds until he looked at the door.

"I better go home now."Joe said to me.

"Yeah totally, I should go to bed, long day."I covered up.

"Bye."Joe said softly as he walked towards the door. He waved at me one more time before closing it.

After I went up to my room and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. Maybe I check my myspace page before I go to

bed to get me sleepy.

I quickly got up and logged online a couple of my friends were on. Oliver was on, he was down in Florida visiting family.

I wanted to leave him a comment but I saw that Amber was one of his friends. I clicked on her page and viewed her picutres. I never really noticed how skinny she was. I quickly left her page because everytime I saw a skinny girl my stomach felt uneasy.

There had to be a fast way to loose weight...but what could it be?

I then typed in : Google.

Thank god for google. I then searched. Loose lots of weight fast. Plain and simple. But it gave me nothing but

advertisments for stupid diet pills. This was hopeless. Well one more try wouldn't hurt.

I then typed in: How do girls loose weight fast.

My eyes began to pop open as I read anorexia all ont he page.

I knew about eating disorders and I did want to loose weight but not be anorexic.

I opened a website and began to read.

A girl lose 5 pounds in a week, one 7 another had dropped 20 pounds in 2 months...

My heart had began racing faster.

Maybe I could just take some tips from these websites...I mean it's not liek I wouldloose control like these other girls.

I'm Miley. I'm not anorexic. I looked at a couple of things I would need to do. Get a diet diary, check the scale twice a day, work out a lot. This seemed normal I mean it's just a diet...

I printed some things and hid them in a book. It was 11:30 and I didn't have school. I knew I was way too excited to sleep.

I got an empty notebook a had and wrote on the inside of the cover.

Miley's Diet Diary


So what did you think? Did you like it? I promise more fluff and more disorder in the next chapter.

btw this story is partly based on my experience....so some of the things i'll write in here is what i went thorugh and am going through I hope you like it. Please review.