Free Falling

-

Lunamaria Hawke felt a vicious stab of helplessness attack her as she gazed upon Shinn's tear-streaked face, the sight seeming to steal her breath away from her. Sitting on the floor in the corner of his room, he hugged his bent legs to his chest and his jaw trembled as he bit down painfully on his quivering bottom lip to stop from making any noise.

She whispered his name, the word ghosting past her lips as she slowly dropped to her knees in front of him. Her hand reached out on its own accord to gently brush his matted indigo hair from his face as he only stared at her in turn. The comforting action only seemed awkward by the literal distance between the two.

But Shinn Asuka only shook his head furiously and buried his face into his arms and, withdrawing her hand to help her maneuver, she crawled up to her friend so that she could lean into him and, without touching him, commanding him to lift his gleaming crimson eyes to lock with her heliotrope ones.

Lunamaria smiled sadly and thought Shinn incredibly brave. He was just a boy, forced to grow up before his time. The things he had seen… there was no doubt he still witnessed the horrors of the war every time he closed his eyes, the terrible images playing out over and over again behind his lids. She leaned forward, on her hands and knees, and softly pressed the top of her head to his ear, her magenta hair blending drastically with his darker shade.

Her long lashes tickled his skin and he turned his head only slightly to regard her warily, but unresisting. She moved to gingerly kiss the wetness from his ivory cheeks.

His protest was weak as he sniffed. He didn't physically stop her from her ministrations, so she brought them lower to trail along his jaw. His head tilted, to either inch farther away from her or to give her easier access, but it wasn't long until her mouth had descended to his neck.

She wanted nothing more than to help him forget. Forget about his family, about the Minerva… about Stella.

His moan hitched in his throat as she sucked at his collar bone, shortly after her nimble fingers had wrestled to remove the tie from around his neck with ease. She decided she didn't like the funeral suit on him – it only made him look younger, dressed up in his father's clothes.

Shinn's stiff form beneath her finally began to relax, and he reluctantly let go of his legs so that they could stretch out in front of him, and Lunamaria settled herself between them. His warms hands settled on her hips, sending a shudder down her spine. However, instead of only resting there, his fingers seemed to hold on to her, grasping her desperately, and maybe he thought that if he didn't let go, she wouldn't die, too.

Somewhere between helping him shrug his coat off, Lunamaria knew what she was doing was wrong. It was wrong of her to take advantage of Shinn while he was in a state such as he was, but repeated her original alibi over again in her head like a mantra, a sacred code, and knew what they were about to do would give him at least a moment's bliss.

His white blouse was off after that, discarded carelessly somewhere, leaving nothing to hide Shinn from her roaming digits. The skin she explored was warmer than she had expected, leaving her to wonder fleetingly if he had a fever. Then again, she had never done this before. Everything was new in this unstaked territory, and the way she touched him so flawlessly really was a mystery in itself.

And just as he was starting to move along with her – she allowed her top to be slipped over her head with her arms extended in the air – Shinn halted. Lunamaria chewed the inside of her cheek nervously under his observation. To her surprise, he wasn't calculating her as he usually did. His gaze seemed to have a certain note of awe to it, like he was beholding something special.

And then he told her she was beautiful, and situated himself so that he could lean over and caress her lips with his. The kiss turned aggressive almost instantly, both battling feverishly over dominance, their mouths becoming something of a tourist attracting to each other.

When they separated at last for air, Shinn traced the back of his hand down her black bra strap, and, offering her friend another smile, Lunamaria reached behind her back and undid the clasp, letting it fall off her form and to the carpeted floor.

Shinn kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering on her hair momentarily before standing and offering her a hand up as well. His companion got to her feet gracefully and willingly succumbed to the embrace that trapped her lovingly next.

Shinn needed her. He was free falling, and desperately needed something to cling to.

She would be his rock.

Pulling away slightly, Lunamaria tried to reassure him with her eyes before letting her hands slide down his toned chest to fuss with his belt buckle, successfully undoing his trousers and letting them drop. The whole exchange was a calm quiet, neither soldiers speaking a word, buried in their own lightless world.

And seconds flew by like the wind past her ears, Lunamaria finding herself lying on her back vertically across Shinn's neatly made bed, her skirt already slipping past her hips and leaving only her underwear. She vaguely recalled him asking her permission, his only answer a tender kiss. Lunamaria wouldn't be selfish and her first time would not be wasted.

Because by sunrise tomorrow morning, Shinn would be hung over with memories, and once again he would brood over the loss of his family and friends.

And by tomorrow morning he would remember Stella, but something told her that he had never forgotten.

-