Hello everyone. Welcome to my first fic inspired by art. I was cruising through various pictures on DeviantArt and couldn't resist some of the pictures I found. I was almost immediately inspired to write! So here is the first one, inspired by justalenore's piece "Sebastian LA". The link is http: / justalenore . deviantart . com / gallery / 27211282# / d3nisil (remove all spaces). I give all credit for the picture to her, and thank her for inspiring this fic. The song Sebastian is playing (and the mood music) is called "Be Still My Soul" by Chris Rice in the album, The Living Room Sessions. I have to admit, this whole story was an odd idea that occurred to me. I don't think Sebastian is one to regret any action, but my mind couldn't help but wonder what if? I guess that's what fanfiction is, though. :) So, without further ado, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Do not own, and mild slash ahead.
Aritistic Redemption
The piano played softly, somewhere deep in the mansion.
There were various music rooms in the vast Phantomhive estate, but each room had different acoustics, different pianos, a different feel.
Ciel walked down the corridors, eyes closed and breathing deeply. Inhale and exhale. He could travel through the mansion blindfolded—had done it blindfolded before, just to prove he could—and the way to the music room where the soft cadences of melody rose and fell was no different. In his hands were a sketch pad and a pencil, having just been at his art lesson with Mrs. Creedy. That foul woman…she had squawked at him for every little mistake he had made while drawing the boring flowers and vase. He had tried to explain that he simply needed a more interesting subject, but she would hear none of it.
It didn't matter. The ire that he had felt was rapidly being soothed by the angelic music he knew were most certainly not being played by any angel. Rather, the opposite.
It had always seemed fitting to him that, though his butler was a being of the darkest kind, he could still manage to bring light into Ciel's otherwise pitch-black life. It made sense, solely for the reason that Sebastian was Sebastian. It was in his nature to contradict himself, and Ciel found he had gone from simply appreciating the irony, to quietly adoring that strange aspect of his servant.
He wandered slowly, knowing that as long as he did not make it to the room, the ethereal music would continue. Smiling softly, the rarest of genuine occurrences, he stopped his feet, simply breathing in the air flowing from the open window beside him.
Spring was truly a glorious time of year. Sebastian had told him the tale of how the seasons came into being; the mating and birth seasons of the supernatural realm. In the spring, the birth of angels breathed new life back into the earth after demonic young had drained it for winter. Though Ciel would always like winter best, he also enjoyed the breeze of spring, which Sebastian told him was the beating of brand new angel wings. The earl had smirked and asked if it was alright to enjoy spring as much as he did. Sebastian had chuckled and reluctantly agreed that angels did have some use, after all, if the breeze pleased the young master.
Now his feet carried him to the ajar door of the vast room where a piano sat, regal and shining black, played by the most dexterous of fingers, the most soft and gentle and giving of hands.
Those hands had played upon him before, and when asked, Sebastian had claimed that no piano or violin could compare to the music drawn forth from his master. Ciel didn't believe for one second that his own voice raised in pleasure could compare to the overwhelmingly beautiful sounds the demon coaxed from the piano.
It lilted and shifted, the melody one of peace requested. The irony in the song's name was inescapable, but fitting somehow. If any demon could have a soul, Sebastian most certainly would. And it was the more beautiful than any other being in the world. The balance of cruelty and tenderness, wrath and forgiveness, apathy and caring, were all apparent in the way the demon held himself when he played. Ciel drew a sharp breath as he peered into the room and beheld the sight before him.
Lithe upper body was barred to the air, enjoying the breeze as much as his master did, the smooth muscles tensing and relaxing in time with toned arms that connected to slim hands and fingers. Those fingers flexed agilely across the delicate keys of the piano, bringing to life the meaning of true music. Music was meant to make one feel, no matter what the feeling may be. And the feelings that calmly swam throughout Ciel's body were of the strongest kind.
The back presented to his eyes was pale and smooth, unmarred but for two ragged vertical scars. Ciel's eyes traced them, feeling sorrow for the fall of this magnificent creature. His wings, upon betrayal to the God he once served, had been ripped from his back as he was cast down into Hell. Sebastian never divulged the reason for his fall, but for some reason, Ciel couldn't help but wonder…
The signals he had learned to read told him that Sebastian had been reluctant to tell him exactly why he had been banished, but Ciel thought he knew the reason. He had either fallen in love, or at the very least, mated with a demon when he was still an angel. That would explain a lot, for Sebastian always seemed to want what he thought he couldn't have. As an angel, perhaps he had seen the dark beauty in the demonic as Ciel saw now, but now that he had it, perhaps he also wished for some semblance of light. And maybe that was why he sought to be a glow in Ciel's life.
Though he knew Sebastian was likely eagerly looking forward to being fed, whenever Sebastian said something to the effect of being with him to the ends of Hell, Ciel couldn't help but notice that there was regret in the demon's eyes. He thought, at first, that it was just his imagination, until one night long after their amorous affair started, they lay on the bed, spent and sated, and Ciel found himself pulled into arms that were more tender than he expected.
"Sebastian?"
"It's nothing, young master."
The young earl frowned and craned his neck up to look at his servant's face. "It's not nothing, Sebastian. Don't forget that I have ordered you not to lie."
A humorless chuckle met his ears. "No, I'm telling the truth. It's…nothing. There is a—a gaping hole in my chest, a nothingness, that doesn't seem to ever want to be filled," Sebastian stated honestly, as if such a thing were too meager for his master to take notice of.
Ciel's frown became deeper. "What do you mean, Sebastian? Why can you not fill it?"
His servant breathed out slowly, resting his cheek against the top of the earl's head. "I suppose it's a punishment of sorts, from my fall long ago. God may be gracious to those who seek to find Him, but I was never content with what I had. And so I think He felt that the most fitting retribution would be to keep that restlessness within me. Sometimes I wonder if He thought it would one day bring me back."
Ciel stared at the raven, confused. "Bring you back? You mean—"
Sebastian nodded. "If there is one thing you humans are correct in your assumptions about God, it is that He can be most forgiving. He has other aspects that you as humans don't comprehend in a divine being, but yes, He does have that side to him. He desires that all creatures be with Him in Oneness, and that includes demons."
"How is that possible?"
"It is a complicated process that I have never felt the need to go through, but some demons have reconciled, much to Lucifer's displeasure," he chuckled as if at a memory. "But, I find that the nothingness can be useful to motivate me."
They lay in silence for a long while, both of their breathing having calmed into a more normal cadence.
"If…if I could, I would fill that emptiness for you, Sebastian."
The surprise radiated off the demon for a moment, though Ciel couldn't see his face. "You are such an interesting creature, Sebastian, and any God that would give you up is rather useless in my mind. I see I was right in my decision to put my faith in you rather than Him."
Sebastian tensed for a moment, though Ciel didn't know why until a moment later. "I truly wish you hadn't."
"What?" Ciel gasped, struggling out of Sebastian's arms to look at him with wide, horrified eyes. Sebastian shook his head and smiled vaguely, reaching to try and draw him back in.
"Not like that, silly boy. I simply meant that there are…occasions that I find myself amazed at just how selfish I am. I took you from eternal bliss and peace, into this life of violence and blood, simply because when you called out, I knew that you would be the closest thing I would ever find to peace. Selfish…" Sebastian muttered the last word, before sighing and bringing Ciel back to his chest. "But I suppose it can't be helped now."
Ciel paused for a moment, before snorting. "And you accuse me of having second thoughts…" he grumbled, before leaning up to kiss his butler's lips softly. The older male had simply shrugged and hummed thoughtfully.
And now Ciel had come to understand that he too, was selfish. He craved Sebastian in every way possible, and he often wondered if it was himself that kept Sebastian from going back. Not that he was complaining, for he still felt that God was a fool for letting Sebastian go, but if any accounts of the difference between Heaven and Hell were true, then he would much rather see Sebastian fulfilled and happy.
He hadn't even realized it, but he suddenly found himself sketching the raven while he stood at the piano, playing that melody that ached with the desire of peace. The lines were vague, a bit ambiguous, much like the subject he drew. The sculpted back was traced on the paper much in the way his own fingers traced the pale contours when they made love. Yes, that is what Ciel called it, if only in the hope that perhaps Sebastian's wish for things to be different was a reflection of feelings yet unexpressed in words. Because with everything that Sebastian did, Ciel could feel that he was somehow saying 'I love you'.
The tattoo at the base of the raven's neck was a subject of interest in the drawing; a cross that had once proclaimed him as a creature of God's court, now had another piece in the center. A pentagram, the same one as in Ciel's eye and the back of Sebastian's hand. It was the mark of the new, less delightful master he served in Hell.
Each stroke of the pencil was put to paper in a loving way. Ciel had always expressed well through art. He would be eternally grateful to Sebastian for insisting on lessons, even if they were with Mrs. Creedy. Sebastian turned his face slightly, hiding his eyes, but giving a better view of the flawless neck and face he possessed. Ciel smiled, silently thanking him, and drew the picture to completion. There was no need to fill in details. The lines of his frame gave reference enough to his character.
Eventually, the piano's melody drifted into a close, and the stillness was…beautiful. After all the rush and destruction and horrors of a day in the life, stillness was its own kind of perfection. He slowly let the pad of paper and the pencil slide from his grasp, unable to think of a perfect drawing, when he had the even more perfect subject near him.
He crossed the room, to where Sebastian stood, still facing the piano. When he was within arms-reach, he traced his fingers delicately along the scars where white feathery wings once protruded. He felt, rather than heard, Sebastian's breath slow, as if being lulled by the touch.
"They must have been beautiful."
"They were."
His hands moved to the tattoo, dragging his fingers along the lines of cross and pentagram alike, making Sebastian's breath speed up this time.
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes."
"Both of them?"
"Yes."
Ciel hummed under his breath, beginning to knead his fingers into the tense muscles of a temporary human body that lived solely for him. It was a warm feeling that Sebastian had known him well enough, within one glimpse of his soul , that this was the form he should take. A figure with midnight hair, to remind Ciel of his true nature, milky pale skin to remind him that there would always be a contrast to the darkness, and crimson eyes, to remind him that there was both pain, and redemption, in the color of blood.
Turning so that he could wrap his arms around Ciel, Sebastian smiled gently, pressing his cheek to Ciel's head and breathing in the heady scent of his beloved.
"I don't believe I have ever spoken in words what you are to me, young master," he breathed, sliding his face until the side of his face touched Ciel's smooth cheek, the last vestiges of baby fat stubbornly making Ciel all the more precious. His master's breathing sped, in anticipation. "You are no fool; you know what my actions speak, what I say even without words. Both realms I have been a part of taught me that actions speak the loudest. But sometimes…I think words are necessary, don't you? Sometimes, the words are an action."
"Sebastian…"
"So let me make this very clear, so that you never have reason to doubt me. I do not lie, and thereby I can say that I love you, Ciel." The tone was soft, but there was a quaver nearly undetectable within it. Ciel smiled, staying silent to make the demon squirm a bit, before pressing his lips to Sebastian's ear.
"Stupid…did you think there was any possible way that I wouldn't feel the same?" He shook his head at the faint, shuddering breath his butler released. "And here I thought that you were more intelligent than me."
Sebastian leaned back to look at him, crimson eyes solemn for a moment, before a happily smirking smile curved his mouth and he leaned in to kiss Ciel's forehead, his eyelids, his nose, cheeks, chin, neck, until he came back to press against his mouth, silently breathing his thanks.
Perhaps God was more forgiving that they thought…
Finis
Read and Review! Redemption story yay or nay?
