a/n: Christmas Short. Two Chapters, Ten Scenes. Happy Holidays to all at FanFiction.NET. Enjoy :)

A Calvin and Hobbes Christmas Story

I. North Pole

Christmas Day comes every year for only one day. During the night, Santa Clause comes with toys and gifts to give to all the children of the world. Every year he attempts to make a girl or boy completely happy. Each Christmas turns out to be dismal because he never succeeds. Santa tells himself on the 26th, that someday he'll make a child perfectly happy. He would, but just one.

II. December 23

"I can't believe I just did that!" exclaimed Calvin as he walked into the door of his house. "Don't worry about it, you made a great elf." said Hobbes.

"Yeah, until I forgot my line and climbed on Santa's house and committed Hari Kari."

"Everyone was jealous of your acting skills. Someday you'll be on 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'"

"Then I'll laugh when I get a million points!" laughed Calvin triumphantly.

Calvin and Hobbes quickly put on their coats and went out to enjoy the last moments of the day. The sun was low on the horizon, and there were dark clouds approaching.

"I bet one of my future presents that I hit Susie's cap off."

"How can you say that, you won't get in presents. Especially if you miss."

"Just watch" Calvin said as he compressed snow to make an icy weapon and threw it.

"I hope you have some good presents" laughed Hobbes. "Oh shut up" sputtered Calvin lifting his head out of the snow. Blushing from his defeat by a girl.

The snow began to fall as they started to trudge back home recapping the day's events. Suddenly, Calvin remembered something he hadn't done. "I haven't written Santa yet!" yelled Calvin. He ran the rest of the way home to start on his list.

Dear Santa,

How are you? I am good. Okay, enough of that, it's that time of year again and you know it. Enclosed is my Christmas list. It is indexed by priority. What I want the most comes in the first chapter.

Goodly, Calvin

CHRISTMAS LIST Chapter 1

A-bomb (5)
Grenades (Gross)
...

"Phew, it's all finished," said Calvin 2 hours later, "Now I have to mail it, c'mon and help me figure out how to operate Dad's fax machine."

"Nope. You remember what happened last time." Warned Hobbes, reading a comic book. "That time you tried to send Susie a picture of your dinner."

"That fax machine was already broken, remember all how the case blew up?" informed Calvin, but Hobbes stayed where he was and didn't look up. "You're such a sissy."

Calvin walked downstairs and crept into his dad's office. After moments of searching, he found the new fax machine.

"Okay, I stick all the papers in, Santa's number is.I don't know."

"Hey Dad!" yelled Calvin, "what's Santa's fax number?"

"I don't know Calvin," replied Dad, "probably 1-800-SPA-NKME."

"Thanks."

"Alri-Hey! Calvin, don't mess with the Fax Machine!"

Dad ran into the room to stop the future disaster, but he ran into find Calvin's list flying everywhere.

"CALVIN! THAT'S A NEW FAX MACHINE! WHERE ARE YOU!" roared Dad as he searched the room for Calvin with papers flying a hitting him. Just as he opened the last cabinet; "Uh.hey Dad. I think I'll just mail Santa tomorrow."

III. December 24

"I told you so." Hobbes said as he and Hobbes walked towards the post office with the large package. Calvin kept walking in silence as they reached the post office and when to the front desk.

"Send this first class to Santa, please." Calvin handed the package over to the clerk.

"Whoa.this is heavy. Couldn't you have faxed this?" exclaimed the Clerk.

"Oh shut up.," said Calvin under his breath as he and Hobbes left the building.

"Hobbes, how does Santa characterize good from naughty?" Asked Calvin. "I've been relatively good all year-"

"Except for the Noodle Incident" said Hobbes butting into Calvin's thoughts.

"I've been good all year, but how does Santa see me? One little bad act by me can be a huge naughty act to Santa. I mean, how am I supposed to know?"

"It's all about what he thinks of you from his point of view."

"That's the problem! There aren't any books on how he 'grades' you. How am I supposed to fulfil what he wants me to fulfil, if I don't even know what he wants."

"If only everyone came with a manual. Sometimes, I think that people don't like certain people anyway." Replied Hobbes.

"That's the problem." Continued Calvin, "It always makes me crack under all the stress Christmas brings." Calvin picked up some snow and made a snowball. "I hope Santa's too busy reading my list to see this!" Calvin yelled as he threw the snowball towards Susie for a second time. He laughed as it pasted her and he ran home in better spirits.

IV. North Pole

"Yo, the last of the batch." Yelled an elf as he carried in a stack of Christmas lists possibly four times his size.

"Thanks." Replied Santa as he quickly started to read the first list on the stack.

"Ah yes, Calvin's list. I should have guessed that it was his list considering it's close to 10 pounds. I'm getting to old for this Mrs. C."

"You've said that every year since 1400." Snapped Mrs. Clause.

"Right." Replied Santa quietly as he started to read Calvin's list.

V. Christmas Eve

"Oh boy, oh boy!" yelled Calvin happily, jumping up and down. "Uncle Max is coming!"

"Yes Calvin, he'll be here tomorrow." Said Mom, explaining it to him for the 43rd time. She looked over to Calvin as he put the milk and cookies out for Santa.

"No, no Calvin! That milk is for Santa."

"Dad said he would rather have a cold beer. And you know, whatever makes Santa happy is a plus!"

"Dear.." Mom turned to look at Dad.

"What?" laughed Dad, "alright Calvin, time for bed."

"Alright! C'mon Hobbes, the faster we go to sleep, the sooner we'll wake up." Said Calvin climbing the stairs to bed.

"If only every night were like Christmas," Chuckled Dad, "He's usually asleep in a heartbeat."

"I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR ALARMS SET TO 4AM!"

Mom gave Dad a worried look.

"Okay, I take that back." Said Dad, rolling his eyes.