A/N Hey everybody, long time no post. Sorries. I got swamped by life. In a good way though. It's all good. By the way, my latest thing is NCIS. Tony DiNozzo (I know - the Roberts and the Tonys and damn, there's a pattern here somewhere) is my new squeeze. Well, actually, new addition. My heart is currently shared by many.

And, for some amazing news, which I am so genuinely happy about. Robbie Williams has married! I am very happy for him and Ayda, the new Mrs. Williams. In fact, I am so happy on his and her behalves that I don't think it's healthy. But still - here's to a long and happy life. I wish them well.

Anyway. Basically everything's hunky dory on Planet RawrFangMonster. Hope it goes the same for you.

Enjoy.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned, and I don't claim to or recieve anything for my efforts. Born of a love of the fandom.


"Sir," asked the airport security man patiently, "What is this metal implant in your body?"

"Holy crap, man. We've been over this. It is an arc reactor. It will not explode. Do I look stupid enough to plant a bomb in my chest?"

"Sir, please stay focussed. What is the metal implant?"

Tony groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"It is an arc reactor, patented by Stark Industries. You see, a few months back I was spending some quality time in Afghanistan, and I got blown up. Look, you've heard the story. Got some shrapnel in my chest, put the reactor there to keep it from exploding my heart, and got this piece of paper to give to idiots like you to prove it."

"Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down. Can you please repeat your answer?"

"...Okay. But boy, this had better be the last time, I swear."

Speaking very slowly and clearly, Tony tried again. "I, while overseas, had an accident. A bomb sent some shrapnel into my body. To keep the shrapnel from entering my heart and therefore – shit, too big a word – and, and so killing me, I built this miniature arc reactor you see now. Yes, it is metal. No, it will not blow up. Yes, I have papers for you. No, I don't mind if you see them. Here you go."

"Sir, I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to repeat that. Please refrain from answering questions before I ask them."

Tony stared. And tried not to gape. But he did blink a few times.

"I-," And he was lost for words.

"Sir, please answer the question. What is the object in your chest?"

Pulling himself back from the edge, Tony miserably began again.

"Arc reactor. Keeps me alive. Not a bomb."

"Sir, we'd like to ask you to keep yourself from using the 'b' word, it tends to spread panic. Can you please answer the question again?"

"...Garrrgh...arc reactor...metal...palladium...medical..." Tony mumbled through his hands.

"Sir, I'd like to bring you back to the matter at hand. You have a metal implant in your chest with no documentation. Please repeat your answer."

"But I do have papers! I've been trying to give them to you!"

"Sir, please answer the question."

"All right, but dude, seriously, this had better be the last time. Just so you know, I am never flying commercial again. Oh my god, no wonder Pepper ditched me. She saw this coming a mile away. The red tape, the security, the scanners...it's a nightmare. This would have to be the worst idea I've ever had. Including the cougar sleepover party. And the automatic popcorn cooker. Was cleaning up buttery walls for months."

"Sir, please answer the question. I do not want to ask again. What is the implant in your chest?"

"We're not good."


A/N2 Did you like? I wrote it in about five minutes, and hardly looked over it so it's likely it's iffy, but I just had to type. I hope through my Married!Robbie haze it turned out alright.

Lovest, me.

R&R?