September 14

Rennie tells me I have to learn to keep my nose clean. Mum and Dad will be rather upset if I cause trouble. Well, more trouble than necessary. The problem with her is that she doesn't seem to understand how much fun playing with others can actually be. Rennie has too good of a heart sometimes.

But I have my sights set on becoming infamous. Not famous but infamous. I will be the breaker of hearts, the one no one can comprehend. No one will ever be able to know who I truly am. To go down in infamy, to become the girl no one can understand, that's my ultimate goal. The reason I breathe.

Because being infamous is so much more fun than being famous. Just like being a bad girl is much more fun than being a good girl. Not that I would know how to be a good girl, even if I tried. Rennie has tried to make me one though. She tries to tame me at every turn. But doesn't she know?

You can make a bad girl hide but she always comes back out.

With a vengeance.

-J

Jezzie could feel him watching her, his eyes fixed intently on her. The edge of her mouth threatened to curl up into a smile. She was used to being watched. Now, being used to being watched had nothing to do with trying to be cocky, trying to be vain. She was just used to it. She was the mystery girl, the one no one could quite figure out.

Across from her sat her sister, Renvie, rambling on about something or other that she couldn't quite focus on. To see them you never would have guessed they were related in anyway let alone sisters. Renvie was lithe like a pixie with fiery red hair and beautiful brown eyes that seemed paler than they actually were at first glance. Her face was beautiful but in a way almost childlike, all round features.

Jezzie's looked like a ghost of her sister- her hair an almost white blonde, more mature features, fuller lips, eyebrows too dark for her hair to look natural and pale, pale blue eyes. Sometimes it seemed that Renvie embodied the spring- all elegant beauty and sunshine; sometimes it seemed like Jezzie embodied winter, pale and cold.

For a long time both girls had been a mystery to the others. At first the girls had stuck together and rarely spoke to others, but as time went on their individual personalities seemed to manifest. Renvie had taken it upon herself to befriend the friendless; she was like the patron saint of lost causes, trying her best to make others feel worthy and welcome.

Jezzie had taken to stringing along boys and breaking their hearts. Everyone knew that getting involved with her was almost like asking to get hurt but most of them found that they couldn't help but want to prove that they could be the one to tame her, to make her feel the same for them as they had begun to feel about her.

And everyone knew that the only one who truly knew Jezzie was her older sister. In some ways it was like they were connected beyond what others could understand- as though their very minds were linked. With an empty glance at each other there was some sort of an unseen and unheard communication, like a psychic connection. They always knew instantly what the other one needed or was feeling. It was both unnerving and intriguing.

Renvie stopped talking suddenly, eyes narrowing in on her sister, head tilting slightly to the side. Pursing her lips she let out a slow breath through her nose. "You're up to no good again," she accused, pointing one long finger at her sister's face.

Jezzie watched her sister unblinking, one dark eyebrow lifting slightly. "Am I really?"

"Yes, you are. I know that look, Jez. You only get that look when you're going to do something that will make Mum and Dad mental."

"I don't do anything with the intent of driving Mum and Dad mental," she drawled, tossing her snowy hair over her shoulder. It was a simple gesture but one that Jezzie practiced a long time to make alluring given the right situation. "I do things with the intention of having a bit of fun."

"I don't see how playing with other people's hearts could really be that amusing, I really don't. Doesn't it bother you at all to lead these guys on?"

"I don't lead them on." Again a smile tugged at the edge of her mouth. "They know full well when they start being interested in me that it won't go anywhere. You can't blame me when they come so willingly into it."

"You're shameless. Sometimes I don't understand how we're sisters."

"Sometimes I don't either. Maybe Mum had an affair and I was the result."

"You know Mum would never do that."

"That would explain everything though, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose it would, yes. Who did you pick for your next victim?"

"I haven't picked anyone. I don't always have to. They seem to show interest on their own."

"Who is it this time?"

Jezzie motioned subtly with her chin to a table further back in the library where a group of boys were joking around. Every so often the librarian was glaring daggers in their direction but she couldn't say she blamed them for being so rowdy. She found herself rather bored in the library as well.

Without even needing to be told not to be obvious about looking Renvie's gaze jumped over to the table in question just in time to see who was watching her sister intently, her eyes briefly meeting his dark ones, her eyebrow raising slightly in a manner that almost resembled her sister's. The boy smiled his hello as though he hadn't just been caught staring and shifted his attention back to his friends trying to act as casually as the girls were. "I know him," Renvie said finally, shifting back around to face her sister.

"Do you?"

"He's in my year. We've had a couple of classes together over the years."

"I see."

"Well, he was looking at you. I'll give you that one."

"I already knew he was."

"No, I won't tell you anything I know about him- which isn't that much incidentally."

"I didn't ask you to."

"You didn't have to. I know that look quite well, Jezzie. And I'm not going to help you play your little games."

"When have I ever needed help?"

Renvie closed her mouth with an audible snap. That, she had to concede, was a fair point. Never before had her sister asked for her help in any of her games. But she also knew that her sister could be deceptive to anyone, herself included. "You're still up to something. Scheming."

"Aren't I always?"

"Hmm." It was a noncommittal sound but they both knew she was agreeing. Returning her attention to the parchment in front of her Renvie exhaled the breath she hadn't even been aware she was holding. "He has a brother, you know. In your year I believe."

"Would I know him?"

"Most likely not. Not in your house."

"That means very little, you know."

"Maybe to you it means little but to others it can mean a lot."

Jezzie waved off her sister's comment with one quick flick of her wrist, eyes rolling. "Such trivial things."

"Most things in life can be rather trivial." Sitting back in her seat she studied her younger sister for a moment. "You know the moment I leave he'll most likely come over and speak to you. They always do."

"I know." Resting her arm on the table she held her chin in her palm, smiling at her sister in the closest thing to an innocent way as she could manage. "Don't you have somewhere you need to be right now anyway?"

"You're right, surprisingly." Gathering her things up Renvie avoided that cold gaze of her sister's.

"Where do you go?"

"You're not the only one with secrets, Jez." Renvie's eyes were empty when they shifted back up to her sister. Never before had she slammed the proverbial door on a conversation like that. She had always been more than willing to share her life with Jezzie and the fact that she wasn't this time just made Jezzie all the more curious. "When you start to tell me everything, little sister, then I'll return the favor."

"You know I'll figure it out eventually." It wasn't a threat nor a statement filled with misplaced confidence. It was merely a fact. "I always do."

"You aren't nearly half as clever as you think you are, Jez. Sometimes I think you really are delusional."

"Delusional? No. Sneaky is what I am."

"Indeed." She leveled her gaze to meet the other girl's. "For once I'm asking you to stay out of things. Leave me be."

"Aren't we supposed to look after each other, dear sister? How am I to do that with you keeping secrets?"

"I'm more than capable of looking out for myself. You should worry more about yourself, Jezzie. One day these games of yours will be taken too far and you'll regret the outcome."

"Come now."

"I'm serious. You're so unaware, Jezzie. So unaware."

"Unaware of what?"

"You live off of your beauty. And yes, beauty is a gift. A great gift, but a terrible one as well. It comes with responsibility."

"Always the responsible one."

"One of us has to be." There was an edge of resentment in her voice as she said this, sliding out of her chair with delicate grace. "Merlin knows you wouldn't know responsibility or reason if it bit you on your arse."

"I know how to be responsible, Rennie. I just like to have fun. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with that. In moderation. Everything in moderation, dear sister. Excess is a dangerous thing." Tossing her own hair over her shoulder in a much less practiced gesture than her sister had Renvie stalked out of the library as though she were about to embark on a mission of vast importance.

Jezzie watched her briefly as she left, smiling to herself. As much love as she held for her sister she also held knew that her sister had lost the ability to let herself go and just enjoy her life. She spent so much time worrying what others would think of her that Jezzie was sure her sister would drop dead from worry before she even made it to her mid-twenties.

Her eyes jumped briefly towards the table the boy was sitting at. Her eyes met his for a moment, calm and collected. The edge of her mouth turned up in a smile, trying her best to look like inviting. Her smile was deceptive- she was like a viper, coiled to strike but instead of intending to kill her intent was to wound. It was a deep deception she couldn't help but take pride in.

Her gaze kept locked on his for a few moments before she looked back at the book in front of her she had been pretending to read during most of the time her sister was sitting there. She knew, of course, that Renvie wasn't fooled by her actions. As a matter-of-fact she knew her sister would be flabbergasted if Jezzie were to actually read a book on her own.

Renvie had always been the one more oriented in the learning department. The bookworm constantly trying to control her free spirited little sister. Even as children it had been Jezzie who would get into trouble, who would fall down and skin her knees, who would come home with her face covered in dirt and leaves sticking out of her unruly hair. Their stark differences had always existed and yet they had a surprisingly close bond.

She felt a presence next to her before she saw it. She supposed logic stated that if she felt someone standing there the proper thing to do would be to look at them but she would rather wait. Wait for them to move, speak, something. She wouldn't be the first to act, never had been the first to act. It was how she operated.

"Hello."

He has a pleasant voice at least, she noted, shifting her icy eyes up to meet ones dark and endless, like a bottomless pit. "Hello."

He smiled.

Game on.