Too Many Beasts Spoil Your Day
Mojoverse
The Mojoverse, a parallel universe once run by the bizarre creature known as Mojo. The inhabitants of this universe were addicted to television and thus Mojo had been constantly producing new series for the all important maximum ratings. One of his most popular subjects had always been the mutant outlaws known as the X-Men. Therefore he'd been constantly harassing them for years even going so far as to create child versions of them. These were the cute, adorable little annoyances known as the X-Babies.
Things were different nowadays, the Mojoverse lay in ruins. Mojo had made one terrible mistake, his production of an Age of Apocalypse mini-series ran away with him. The Apocalypse X-Baby gathered an army of followers and led them on a destructive rampage of which one of the first victims was Mojo himself. Now that he'd finally conquered the entire Mojoverse boredom had set in. The miniaturized villain knew the only thing that could relieve his ennui would be new worlds to conquer. Fortunately he had his own pet mad scientist to help him.
"You pwomised you would have the devithe ready ages ago Dark Beathtie. Do you want me to have one of my tantwums? I want to go and conquer the univerthe and if I don't get to do it thoon I'll jutht have to kill you instwead," Apocalypse's voice was dangerously close to a whine as he glared from the view-screen.
"Hey cool your jets A, I've finished it. Just needs testing and now I've got a vi- volunteer I'll know for sure if it works. With any luck we'll be conquering new worlds faster than I can munch a Twinkie."
Dark Beastie grinned toothily and signed off. He sighed with relief, tousling his long dark shaggy hair with a claw. He'd been working flat out trying to construct a workable inter-dimensional portal but it wasn't made any easier by Apocalypse's constant threats and tantrums. As far as Dark Beastie was concerned he'd be a far better leader. Especially since he'd been gifted with the brains and he was the best looking X-Baby. Dark Beastie smoothed down his fur and grinned as he admired his reflection in the mirror.
"Hey bub what happens if ya press this button?" asked Wolvie innocently enough.
"Don't touch that you moron, it hasn't been tested yet," shrieked Dark Beastie.
"Don't ya call me a moron shaggy," growled Wolvie his temper flaring.
He popped his miniature claws and took a wild slash at Dark Beastie. The small furry mutant ducked as the claws instead slashed the insanely complicated portal device. A crackle, some ominous hisses and a whiff of smoke were the only warnings before the whole kit and caboodle hopelessly malfunctioned. With a shriek the munchkin mad scientist and the pint-sized feral were sucked into a dimensional rift.
"Oh poot," moaned Wolvie.
"Stars and freaking garters," roared Dark Beastie.
Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Hank's usually mild blue eyes were smoldering slightly behind the wire-framed glasses. The furry blue scientist folded his arms across his chest and continued to glare at the intruder. The object of his disapproval Bobby Drake simply smiled guilelessly and continued inspecting Hank's experiments. Bobby's eyes lit up as he descended upon a phial of serum.
"Eau de Beast? Hey Hank, I thought you decided it was too dangerous to produce any more of this. I mean it was just totally overpowered if you know what I mean. I know I'd always dreamed about being that successful with women but they do say be careful what you wish for,"
A blue furred hand reached out and snatched the serum, placing it into a pocket of his lab coat.
"Well yes Bobby, I remember it was a little potent so I toned it down. This small sample is purely for research purposes," muttered Hank somewhat hastily.
As Bobby quirked an eyebrow Hank simply shrugged and pointedly turned his back. Before Bobby could get any more ideas about the cologne he decided it would be best to put it somewhere safe. He said a few stern words to Bobby about not touching any equipment and with a final glare headed out of his laboratory. He certainly didn't want Bobby getting hold of the cologne when he needed it for tonight. Tonight he'd be having dinner with a lady he was rather fond of and he wanted to be his best.
"Bobby I warned you not to touch anything,"
Bobby hastily withdrew his hand from the gadget and shoved his hands into his pockets. Whistling tunelessly he put on an almost perfect look of wounded innocence. At Hank's polite cough he reluctantly emptied his pocket of several Twinkies. Hank's heart finally ceased its rapid palpitations. He remembered only too well what had happened the last time Bobby had gotten hold of an experimental Twinkie. That was the problem at the moment; Bobby seemed bored and had obviously decided to spend some time with his good friend Hank.
"Hank you really shouldn't be so snappy with me. I mean we're best buddies remember. Can't a guy just hang out and have some fun with his oldest friend?"
"Yes but perhaps later on. At the moment I'd prefer to be left in peace to carry on with my experiments. For example that little gadget you were fondling was part of the supercharged engine I'm constructing for Logan's motorbike. I'm sure you wouldn't want to end up back against the wall with adamantium claws at your throat. Anyway a lot of these experiments are hmm, Christmas presents for next year. I'm starting early and planning them as surprises including yours. Now you don't want the surprise spoiled do you?"
Hank was not surprised when Bobby took no heed of his hastily and rather flimsily constructed excuse. The problem was trying to find a way to get Bobby to leave without upsetting him. After all much as he might irritate him Bobby was his best friend. Hank was also too much of a gentleman to just throw him out of the lab. Fortunately Bobby's attention seemed to have wandered away from the experiments and to another dimension entirely.
"You know, I love the T-shirt Hank, goes nicely with the fur. Speaking of the fur, it looks sleek and silky smooth. Would I be permitted to feel if it's really as soft as it looks?"
"Conditioner Bobby, still by all means you may touch the fur. Just don't rumple it too much; I need to look my best for tonight."
Bobby managed to suppress the urge to grin. Even as he was lightly brushing the fur on Hank's arm he was reaching for another serum. Hopefully Hank would be too busy purring to notice one little serum go missing. Alas for him, a hand closed on his shirt-front.
"Sorry Bobby but the bouncing, bodacious ever-effervescent Beast has finally run out of patience. I must ask you kindly to leave."
"Hey put me down Hank, oh man, tell me you're not going to bench press me. No have mercy Hank," pleaded Bobby desperately.
Somewhere in New York
"Oh my aching head. Where am I? Who am I? Why am I asking so many questions? Why can't I remember anything?" groaned Dark Beastie rubbing his head.
The last thing he remembered was falling through something and then banging his head. Blackness had followed and now he'd woken up apparently suffering partial amnesia. He couldn't even remember his own name properly. Something like Harry, Perry, Henry, Hank, Honk, none of these really seemed to fit. Maybe it was something more like, McCoy. That still didn't seem quite right, maybe Mack. Yes he liked that so he'd go for it. Happy to have found himself a name Mack staggered to his feet.
"Stairs and carpets, I'm Mack and I'm gray, furry and small. Hmm yellow eyes too, guess I'm some sort of, hmm mutant that's it! Yeah I'm a mutant and that will do for now," he muttered as he gazed down into the puddle.
Scratching his furry chin thoughtfully he wandered out of the alleyway and paused in the shadows. Had there been someone with him? This thought was banished from his mind when a young woman in a long yellow coat stopped dead in front of him. For a second Mack thought he'd frightened her when a smile broke out on her face. Blue eyes glinting Jubilee bent and hugged the small Dark Beast.
"Hi, you must be an X-Baby and you are like so cute. Now don't you worry little guy because Auntie Jubilee is going to look after you. You kinda look like a big Beast I know. Oh I bet the others are going to love you. Come on little guy I'll take you home."
"Score," thought Mack triumphantly.
Nearby
"Are ya freaking kidding me? Yer even smaller than the runt and ya want ta fight me? Beat it pipsqueak, don't make me laugh," growled Sabretooth.
Then he broke down into a fit of full blown guffaws, just laughing until his sides ached. The miniature Wolverine perched on the wall growled menacingly and slashed out with his claws slicing cleanly through one of Sabretooth's muttonchops.
"I'll get yer fer that ya little pipsqueak," snarled Creed lunging for Wolvie.
Wolvie hopped down from the wall, dodged Creed's blows with ease and stuck out his tongue. Snarling Creed chased after the midget feral. Then suddenly he felt a sharp pain as Wolvie sank his miniature adamantium claws into his boot ripping through the leather and deep into his foot. Howling in agony Creed hopped about clutching his injured foot. A small but heavy weight landed on his chest. Toppling backwards Creed ending up flat on his back with a grinning Wolvie perched on his chest.
"Say uncle," sneered Wolvie waving his claws menacingly in front of Creed's nose.
"I'm never going ta live this down," Creed snarled in disgust.
Back at the mansion
Hank was finally enjoying a quick reading session in his favorite armchair. He hadn't done anything too nasty to Bobby. He'd simply settled for suspending him several feet in mid air while he lectured him on why it was a very foolish thing to mess about with his experiments. Maybe he could have been a little more lenient and not thrown Bobby in the swimming pool but there'd been no real harm done. Bobby might not be speaking to him at the moment but at least he was getting some piece and quiet.
Hank flicked the pages, engrossed in a particularly enthralling chapter of his crime novel. Suddenly he was distracted by a rather cold sensation. Cold, slippery ice cubes slid down the soles of his feet and the tickling was proving unbearable. Roaring with laughter Hank fell out of his chair with a thud ending up in an undignified heap at Bobby's feet.
"That's payback for dumping me in the pool Hank,"
"Oh it won't be the swimming pool next time my friend, it will be the lake," growled Hank.
Grabbing Bobby's ankle he pulled him down. Bobby struggled valiantly but Hank managed to grapple with him and get him in an arm-lock. A triumphant grin spread across Hank's hirsute face as he decided he'd be magnanimous in his victory. He'd only make Bobby think he would end up in the lake. Let Bobby sweat a little before he showed mercy.
"Do you yield Iceman?"
"Never," growled Bobby and Hank shivered as small icicles formed in his fur.
Hank growled menacingly and tightened his grip just a little. Bobby yelped and began frantically begging for mercy.
"Would you guys care to explain to me precisely what you're doing? I mean is this like male bonding or have you just been overdoing the Twinkies again?"
Both men at least had the grace to look embarrassed as Jubilee glared at them.
"Never mind, I really don't want to know. Anyway I'm expecting you to set a good example for my new friend. Come and say hello Mack."
Hank's blue eyes widened in shocked surprise as Mack shuffled nervously from behind Jubilee.
"Stars and garters, a miniaturized version of my alternate universe counterpart,"
"Stairs and carpets, that big blue shag-rug kind of looks like me," Mack whistled with surprise.
Hank glared as Bobby and Jubilee broke down in a fit of helpless giggles. Somehow he knew Mack was going to bring nothing but trouble.
