a/n: This story is loosely based off of a song called "The Kettering" by a band called The Antlers. I highly recommend you listen to that song before you read this story. I hope you enjoy this and please review!


The Kettering

I wish that I had known,
In that first minute we met,
The unpayable debt that I owed you.
-The Kettering by The Antlers

As Damon moved into the gray and white hospital room, his entire heart broke. Seeing Elena hooked up to machines that were the only thing keeping her alive was quite possibly the hardest thing he had even been forced to deal with. He had a habit of coming in her room when she was asleep to just look at her. Over the past sixty years his daily visits with Elena had been the only thing that had kept him alive. Now that her life was almost over, he could feel his own body dying.

Despite the fact that the cancer had taken a toll on her body, she still looked absolutely beautiful to him. Her thin gray hair framed her face and made her appear much younger than seventy-eight. The only thing that truly reflected her age was the current pain that was etched into her face.

Damon could remember when Elena had heard the news about her cancer. It had been only three months ago and she had been told that she had a little over three months to live. The cancer had spread beyond the reach of any medicine. It was claiming her body and taking away any life she had left. Although Damon hadn't physically been with Elena when she had heard the news, he still felt the same pain she did as he realized both their lives were coming to an end.

As Damon glanced back to Elena, he saw her stir. Her eyes blinked open and Damon's strength failed. He couldn't make himself leave like he had every time she'd woken up over the past sixty years. This time, he stood his ground and watched her take in his form.

At first, anger reflected across her tired orbs, but that anger quickly changed into pain.

"Hello Damon," she finally spoke.

"Hello Elena."

And as Damon took in the extent of her agony, he realized the unpayable debt that he owed her. Her life had been one of intense pain. Before the war had finally ended, Stefan's life had been claimed. After years of misery, she had finally married Matt, but he too had passed away a few years ago. They had never had children and now, she was completely alone.

"I want you to leave." Her eyes had never left his body.

He forced the tears from his eyes and he looked at the morphine drip she had been given. Its uneven rhythm made Damon want to demolish the horrid machine. But it was one of the things helping Elena now and he couldn't destroy it.

Although Damon knew that he should have obeyed Elena's wishes and left, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he walked over and sat on the edge of her white sheets.

"I talk to your nurses a lot," Damon mused as he gazed deep into her brown eyes. "They call you a hurricane thunderclap," he half laughed.

Elena didn't respond as she turned away from Damon and stared instead at the opposite wall. He wanted to ask her why she was so angry, but with the life she had been forced to go through, he couldn't blame her for her mood. Everything inside of Damon wanted him to gently take Elena's face in his hands and make her look at him. There were so many things he wanted to know now.

Sighing, Damon moved from his seat and walked around her bed. He read the monitors that were checking her vitals and frowned. If they were any indication of her dying body, he didn't have much time at all.

"Why are you here?" Elena snapped. He turned to face her then and saw tears forming in her eyes. "Why did you wait so long to come?"

"I was waiting for you to tell someone you wanted me," he replied. "If you would have said that to anyone, I would have been there in a heartbeat."

"I just wanted you to come back."

"And you told me to leave," Damon recalled as he remembered back to the worse night of his life. It had been a week since Stefan's death and Elena's anger was kindled. She had kissed him and felt guilty for it. And he had loved her enough that he had left when she had told him to.

"I never left you though," Damon continued softly. "I watched you day after day and only left when I had to feed. If you would have ever said anything to anyone about me, I would have heard it."

"I shouldn't have had to say anything," Elena said softly. "I was hurt Damon. You should have known how I felt."

He nodded. He did know how she felt. But he also understood that her life would be easier without the drama of being with a vampire. So he had left.

"I almost came back to you once," Damon sighed. "I had planned on just showing up and asking how you had been."

"Then what stopped you?"

"That was the night Matt came and asked you on a date. And my heart broke when you said yes."

"I would have left him in a second if it meant I got to be with you."

"And that was a decision I couldn't force you to make."

Elena took in a sharp gasp then and Damon frowned.

"Are you alright?"

Nodding slowly, Elena offered a weak smile. "It just hurts, you know?"

"I do know." He sat back down on the bed beside her. "I could end it all if you wanted me too. I could change you."

"And I would be a seventy-eight year old vampire?" Her voice was close to a laugh, but it turned into a painful cough. "I just want to die right now Damon. I've lived my life. It wasn't what I wanted it to be, but it wasn't bad either."

"And when you die, who do you want to be with?" Damon asked softly. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the words, but he had to know. "Will you search for Stefan? Or go to Matt? Or be with me?" His voice broke on the last sentence.

Elena shrugged. "I don't know. I still love Stefan, but not like I used to. Matt was good to me, he deserves to have me."

"And what about me?"

"You're still alive," her voice was sad.

"When you die, I'm dying too."

Her tears were falling quickly now. "You know I've always loved you. I will search for you Damon. In the afterlife, I will find you." A spasm echoed throughout her body. "I'm not going to let you change me, but you can take away my pain Damon. Please unhook me from that awful machine."

Damon glanced to the life support machine that sat beside her bed. He hated the cancer for taking away her ability to live on her own. And he hated himself now for not going back to Elena and seeing if there was a possible future between them. But none of that matter now. All that mattered was the broken human who lay on the hospital bed.

Slowly, he reached down and kissed her lightly on her forehead. "I love you Elena."

"I love you Damon."

As her tears fell, he unhooked the machine. By the time the nurses arrived in the room, it would be too late to save her.

"I'll see you soon," Damon whispered as he heard her heartbeat falter. Then, it quit altogether.

He knew it was reckless to die in the same room with her, but right now, he didn't care. All he cared about was being with her again.

He ripped off the leg from one of the bedside tables and plunged the wood into his heart. There was one short moment of pain before he found absolute bliss.