Well… y'know how they say you don't go into the superhero business if you've lived a good life? Sometimes it feels like even among all these suffering people, I've gotten the short end of the stick. If there's anything I've learned in life, it's that things have got to get really, really bad before they start getting good.
Maybe that's why we don't make sense to other people. I mean, for all the bad press I get, we both know that generally, I'm pretty well liked. And you're, well, you. The mercenary. Insane, feared, disfigured, ruthless, morally unwell. And therefore incomprehensible that I would willingly be with you. But that's only what they see.
Do you remember when you asked me how to be one of the good guys, and I said it was impossible? Our motivations are so fundamentally different. But even I didn't realize back then: I need you as much as you need me.
The truth is people like you keep me believing. Yeah, there's the fact that with great power comes great responsibility. Great responsibility also comes with great guilt when you feel you failed using your power. You get insecure. You start overcompensating, start taking on the impossible because you can't bear to feel that guilt ever again.
Aunt May used to fetter over me constantly. It used to amuse me. If only she knew her dearest, fragile nephew was freaking Spider-Man with the proportional strength of a spider! But the truth is she was right all along. I am frail. Emotionally.
You on the other hand, for all your faults, you're a lot stronger than I am. I hope you know that. You don't deserve any of the things you've been through. I cried when you confessed, remember? Yet here you are, making stupid jokes. Sure, for all my insecurities, when I quip, sure it's just who I am, but when I quip it's also a tactic. But for you…? For you, what else can you do when your only options are to laugh or to cry?
And you chose to laugh. And that's amazing. You taught me that when things turn to a completely clusterfuck-shitwad, you can still laugh and move on. You don't have to wait for things to get better. And it's not the end of the world—well, most of the time—if, in trying to fix things, you somehow make things worse. You remind me that I don't have to hang on to every little thing. That I don't need to claim full responsibility every single time. That my life isn't so bad after all, and that things will be alright.
Wade, you complete me.
Wow, it's been awhile since I've written anything. I wonder if anyone remembers me. /conceit
Anyway, after reading X-Men Origins: Deadpool, I cried all night and somehow it started making sense in my head that perhaps Spider-Man and Deadpool's relationship might not be so one-sided after all. Some seriously powerful feels going on to get a compulsory need to write out of me as I don't really think in words, and even then this short drabble tired me out, lol.
