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Man in lab coat: Hello, if you're seeing this then that means you have been invited to take part in something that only employees of S2E get to take part in. I'm Dr. Bildumup and I have the honor of welcoming you to Square² Enix, the sister company to the beloved Square Enix. Now unlike Square Enix, we do not produce videogames, we do however create something just as good if not better.
The Doctor: You see, what we work on here is making your dreams a reality. Kind of like the slogan of our most recent game...well not ours but Squares', you know...anyway. Have you ever seen a character and said 'Man I wish they were real'? I know I have, I used to be way into Lord of The Rings and I wished I could just have a little Smaug in my house.
The Doctor: Well if you're like me then look no further than this video, keep watching and I will show you how you can get your hands on one of our special offers. (The man walks behind the metal table standing next to the whiteboard next to the table) Now you're probably thinking that this all too good to be true but it's not. You see I'm a engineer and I have spent years looking into special mechanics and mechanisms just for this special job. But after years of trial and error I have finally created living breathing robots but their small.
The Doctor: Now I am offering you the chance to get one of my many robots, from the latest installment of Final Fantasy. They will look like this (the doctorwhistles and a familiar voice says No in the background making the doctor asks again and a harsh response is heard) this is...oh um...give me a second. C.L.O.U.D c'mon now...please...C.L.O.U.D please...thank you.
(A small chibi version of Cloud Strife hops onto the table glaring) This is as you all know C.L.O.U.D from FFVII, he has also stared in many other games and some movies. Now as you see here (the doctor tries to point to something on C.L.O.U.D causing him to step to the side) as you can see we based his appearance off of World of Final Fantasy, and (C.L.O.U.D crosses his arms wandering around the table commenting on the video) he has his own personality...I was trying to show you that he has all the details that his videogame counterpart does. Down to every last detail. (The doctor makes a move for C.L.O.U.D'S Buster Sword, who leaps back glaring up at him) His sword is made of real metal which does cut, I had cut my hand many times.
The Doctor: These little guys have the capability of growing attached to you the more you interact with them(the doctor makes a move for C.L.O.U.D once more who draws his sword at him) clearly I haven't been doing a great job...I must warn you that they do need to eat, sleep, will use the bathroom, and must get plenty of exercise. You don't know how many times I get complaints from folks who order these guys because they didn't realize they needed to care them.
Like all living things your companion will develop fears and dislikes (the doctor holds up a broccoli and Cloud makes a disgusted face), they will develop fascination and love for many things (the doctor holds up a fruit and C.L.O.U.D looks at it asking for the fruit which the doctor gives him which C.L.O.U.D begins to eat) so be sure not to hurt or harm them you don't know how heartbreaking it is to see your favorite characters flinch and hide from you.
The Doctor: Okay on a lighter note, I'm positive you would like to your own character. This time we're issuing out Final Fantasy XV characters, all in the same World of Final Fantasy style. Each are no bigger than a football standing on its tip, however some are smaller depending on their videogame counterparts height. So we hope you have a favorite in mind based off the E3 footage, movie, anime, or gameplay you seen.
We have three options to choose from when it comes to picking who you want.
We have Random: As the name suggests we will randomly choose a character from our list and ship them to you. (An animation plays out of a box with a question mark is shipped via truck and plane and truck again before arriving to a house)
Match Me: Here you take a quiz, and the quiz will tell you who is best for you. (Show an animation of a person taking a quiz before their face and a image of Cid is put together with a heart)
Lemme Call the Shots: You tell us who you want. (An animation shows a crowd with speech bubbles over their heads with various characters in them)
The Doctor: Once you have been set up with your character we'll begin the shipping process. We take great care in shipping our characters so no need for panic. The best part is there is no shipping or handling fee. You will receive along with the characters a starter kit which in including extra clothes, a small instruction manual, a blanket and pillow, a small supply of potions, and a Phoenix Down. (C.L.O.U.D can be seen staring intensely at the Phoenix Down)
Now the manual will tell you how to start up your new friend, every last one of them requires a different start up and each has their own required amount of boot up time. Now the manual will also come with a small booklet created by me, and fellow workers who had cared for our own Final Fantasy characters, which will explain what to expect out of them.
(C.L.O.U.D faces the left end of the table as a S.E.P.H.I.R.O.T.H appears and both soon end up fighting as men in lab coats rush in trying to break up the fight)
The Doctor: Uh (talking to someone off screen) did that just happen while we were filming?
(Voice: Yeah it did...)
The Doctor: I thought you said you were going to leave him with A.X.E.L?
(Voice: I tried, A.X.E.L left him to go bother S.O.R.A and R.O.X.A.S)
The Doctor: I thought I told you to put him with A.N.G.E.A.L and G.E.N.E.S.I.S?
(Voice: Uh yeah about that.)
(C.L.O.U.D huffs out of annoyance hitting the Doctor and points at the camera)
The Doctor: Uh...oh right...I must warn you that they will fight with the villains. So we do encourage you to not try and get a villain and a hero though you can get them if you wish...just prepare for madness.
Uh...what else what else...I think that's about everything. Oh yeah, don't worry about their price the first one is always free, however these little guys and girls will run you a fair price of $300 dollars, which includes warranty on their weapons.
(S.E.P.H.I.R.O.T.H yawns sitting down with his legs crossed and eyes closed as C.L.O.U.D makes his way to the other end of the table)
The Doctor: Okay that's everything, you'll now be sent to a screen with you options of how to adopt our robots, that's for watching.
Restart Video?
Random Adoption?
Match Me Adoption?
Lemme Call the Shots Adoption?
Hello, I'm the doctors assistant. I'm one of many staff members who will be answering any questions you have about your new additions to your home. We are currently shipping out your order as you read this, please allow at least a day or two for your item to arrive.
Thank you for purchasing from Square² Enix
