My first attempt at what I think of as a thoughtfic. Started as no particular Doctor, then I realised it was inspired by the Vincent Van Gogh episode, so it's probably 11. Hope you like it.
He stares at the stars, so alone. They welcome him, like an old friend. He knows them, all of them, by name, by scent, by memories. Each and every one holds memories, of his friends, his loves, his sisters. His companions, remembered forever. Each time breaking his heart.
The twinkling of the stars calms his mind, and however much his rational head tells him they are just balls of gas, his lonely hearts see them differently. They are there for eternity, watching over their worlds, so lonely, so far from others, yet looking so near.
The star that he feels inside him pulls, drags at his soul, longs to be set free. And he longs to set it free. Knowing he can't, and it breaks his heart all over again. He has a responsibility. The last responsibility, the only one that matters. To take care of the universe. To be the caretaker, wandering alone in the dark. To watch others live, and love, and leave, knowing he can't.
A single tear falls from his eye, and he brushes it away angrily. Realising that the denial of emotion leads to more emotion. Knowing he can never escape that vicious circle, knowing he will never be free.
He hears laughter, echoing through the ages. Knows it is in his head, that he can't escape it. Unwanted, their faces rise up out of the ocean of memories that live inside him. He sees them again, knows he can't stop them from leaving, or staying. They choose their own way. As he must choose his. But, oh, he wishes there was no choice.
He looks back at the sky. Remembers a night like this, in the past. A man showed him a new way, and once again the sky takes that form, the light of the stars growing, the moon glowing gold, the wind twisting and turning around them. He closes his eyes, to shut out the sight, but the memory continues, deep in his mind.
The tears fall freely now, as he knows he can't escape his fate. To wander alone. No matter who he finds, they will always leave. And no matter how many love him, he will always be alone.
He stands now, turns, faces his one constant companion, his only always friend. He walks towards her, through her familiar doorway. His escape shuts behind him, as he begins again the journey. Walking forever among friends, knowing none can give him what he needs. Knowing his last chance has gone.
Hope I got it right. Please review!
