Falling into Christmas
Carol of the Bells was playing over the loudspeaker, the quick beat of the song adding an extra sense of urgency as Rick hurried through the department store. He clipped another harried last minute shopper with his shoulder and called out an apology without slowing down. How could he forget a present for his mother?
He sent a quiet thank you toward the heavens when the perfume counter came into sight.
"The store will be closing in 10 minutes."
Rick cursed under his breath and surged forward, dodging displays and customers weighed down by bags. Rounding the final corner, he glanced down as his phone buzzed in his hand and slammed into a brick wall.
Rick groaned from his spot on the floor, his tailbone throbbing. The brick wall groaned in tandem from behind a short choppy curtain of brown hair, and Rick sat up to see that the hair was attached to a woman in a power suit, and stilettos with a… gun on her hip. She flipped her hair back and Rick froze.
"Kate?"
"Castle? Um hi."
"Hi," He replied dumbly and levered himself to his feet, holding out a hand to help her up.
"You're back."
The hesitation in her voice gave him pause, and he mentally kicked himself. His summer in the Hamptons with Gina had spiraled into a multi-continent book tour, which ended with him being offered a deal of a lifetime- collaborating on a Derek Storm television series. "Yeah, I'm back. A couple years now actually."
The flash of hurt in her eyes stung. He had never called.
"It's a funny story," he continued, rambling. "Alexis got into Columbia and then decided to stay for grad school, and I couldn't stomach the idea of her being across the country and the show was pretty much settled so I could commute when needed..."
Kate stared at him with a patented raised eyebrow. Wow he had missed her.
"Not so funny I guess."
"The store is closing. Please bring your purchases to the registers now."
"I've got to go finish…" Rick gestured to the counter behind her, but blurted without a second thought. "But dinner! Come to dinner. You and your dad, at the loft with me- us."
Kate assessed him a moment longer before softening her gaze. "My dad is not here, and I have to work, but I appreciate the invitation. Say hi to everyone for me."
She turned to walk away, heels clicking in three distinct steps before she paused and looked back over her shoulder. "It was good to see you, Castle. Merry Christmas."
A thrill shot through his chest. No one had called him Castle in a long time.
"Merry Christmas to you too, Detective."
"It's Captain now."
He smiled, of course. "Captain."
Kate sunk down into the worn couch in the living space of her industrial chic studio apartment- her gift to herself after making captain the year before. The tabletop tree stood half-decorated on the tall thin table in the corner. She eyed it as she took a sip of wine, and looking over at the clock levered herself back up. It was fifteen minutes until midnight- and Christmas- the least she could do was finish decorating the damn tree.
A series of gifts sat still unwrapped on the windowsill behind it, and she made a mental note to scrounge up her wrapping paper before going to bed. Lanie's, Kevin's, and Javi's she could take to work the next day, and possibly Jenny's and the kid's too… she really should have mailed Aunt Theresa's a week ago, she gave the package an eyeroll. She'd hear about that the next time they talked for sure. And then there was the one for Josh. Josh who she hadn't even seen, and barely talked to since he had gone off to the Congo the year before. Josh who was saving the world. Hell, she had nearly forgotten she had a boyfriend, which had sent her flying through the department store fifteen minutes before closing on Christmas Eve and right into Richard Castle in the flesh.
Richard Castle who had disappeared from her life with a trip to the Hamptons and a two minute phone call explaining a fantastic offer in L.A.. Who had waltzed right back in with chatter and a dinner invitation like everything was normal, like it hadn't been seven years since she'd seen him, like he hadn't broken her heart. Twice. Kate sank down into her desk chair, a red glass ornament spinning by the looped string gripped in her fingers.
Richard Fucking Castle.
She forced the simmering anger down and went to work placing the remaining ornaments on the tree, and draping the garland on the branches. There was probably some cosmic law against decorating a Christmas tree while angry.
She stepped back and gave the tree a satisfied smile once the final bauble was in its place, hanging happily from one of the bottom branches. There was something so happy about Christmas trees. She had relearned how to appreciate it over the years.
With a last nod she turned to the office window, picked up the small plastic lighter and lit the two candles standing side by side on the ledge. She had never considered her a religious person but it was calming to light a candle for the dead. A small spark of light to break overwhelming dark.
"Love you mom. Love you dad," she murmured and turned toward the bedroom area, bare feet falling softly on the wood floor as she made her way across the space, turning off lights as she went.
The precinct was quiet the next morning, a scattering of detectives at their desks. The resident funny man sported a flashing reindeer tie that had Kate rolling her eyes good naturedly. A group of uniformed officers huddled in the breakroom by the coffee maker. Kate gave them a warm smile quick hello as she passed through the door and placed the stack of boxes from her favorite bakery on the table.
"Merry Christmas, guys. Dig in." Kate announced, nabbing a bear claw and jumped out of the way as feeding frenzy descended.
Someone on the night shift had taken it upon themselves to decorate. Snowflakes and paper chains made from plain white paper hung from the ceiling and pillars, giving Kate the sneaking suspicion she'd find the copier empty if she checked. The tree they had pulled from storage the week before twinkled in the corner and the ancient radio that sat on the table next to it had been tuned to a local station playing Christmas songs.
Kate smiled, giving the bullpen one last look and opened the door to her office. The precinct was her Christmas tradition, her home for the holidays, and she wouldn't change that for the world. She placed her briefcase on the couch and, gripping the bear claw in her teeth, shrugged off her coat, hanging it on the coat rack in the corner. Taking a bite of the pastry she walked over to her desk and froze, a large go cup from her favorite coffee shop staring back at her.
A single index card stuck out from under the cup, a ten digit number and the letters RC inscribed under a faint coffee ring. Kate lifted the coffee to her lips and sipped, trying to be surprised when the flavor of a sugar free vanilla latte coated her tongue. Of course he would remember. She sank down in her chair and picked up the card, a finger flicking at it's corner. Lifting the phone from it's cradle, she dialed.
"Richard Castle's phone."
Kate startled when a female voice answered the line, instead of the deep one she had been expecting. "Uh, hi. Is Castle, um Rick there?"
Kate flinched at her own stuttering awkwardness.
"Detective Beckett?" The woman responded and Kate paused, how could the girl sound so grown up?
"Alexis?"
"Yep. Oh, here's my dad. Bye, Detective."
"Hello Captain Kate Beckett, NYPD."
Kate rolled her eyes even as she smiled. Some things never changed. "Hi, Castle."
"I take you got the coffee." He continued after a pause.
"I did. Yes. Thank you. I can't believe you remembered my order."
"You're not an easy person to forget, Detective."
Kate sucked in a breath. Fighting to keep the past seven years from melting away like they had never existed.
"I just, I wanted to say…" he trailed off, silence filling the line again. "I wanted to invite you to dinner again and to say I'm sorry. I should have called. I was a coward."
"You're right, you should have called."
"But I'm calling now." Kate continued, pushing through the awkwardness. "Thank you for the coffee and the dinner invitation but I really can't make it. My… boyfriend," she internally winced as she said the word. "And I have plans."
"Oh, you're seeing someone." She forced herself to ignore the hurt in his voice.
"Yeah, for awhile now. He's flying home for the holidays."
"That's good. Great. Maybe we can get coffee sometime after the holidays- catch up."
"Yeah, sometime."
"Merry Christmas, Kate."
"Merry Christmas, Castle." Kate responded and Rick hung up with a sad smile. They both knew there would be no coffee.
"So, Detective Beckett is calling, hmm?" Alexis leaned on the doorframe to his office an eyebrow quirked in question.
"Yeah, we ran into each other last night. Literally. And it's Captain now." Castle sank back into his chair.
"And how did that go?" Alexis continued her interrogation as she walked into the office and sat down in a chair, hands folded on crossed legs.
"I'm regretting encouraging your decision to become a psychologist."
"Clinical social worker." Alexis corrected. "But seriously how's Det- Kate."
"Good, I guess. I invited her to dinner but she can't make it." He gave her another sad smile. "I screwed up. I should have called. When I moved back to the city. When Gina and I broke up...again. So many times I should have called."
"But you reconnected now."
"Six years too late."
"It's never too late to be what you might have been," Alexis quoted. "Who knows, Christmas is the season for miracles."
"Miracles like this theoretical boyfriend of yours actually making an appearance." Castle teased.
"Ben is very real," Alexis retorted, the tips of her ears turning scarlet. "He's just a med student, he doesn't get a lot of free time."
"Uh huh. I'll be sure to set an extra place at dinner in case that is actually true."
"Har har."
"Don't give up hope, dad." Alexis repeated as she stood. "You two always did have something even if you both were too hard headed to see it."
Castle smiled back at her. "I never give up hope."
"Uh oh," Alexis froze in the doorway. "You better come quick Gram's in the kitchen again."
"Crap." Castle pushed himself up from his desk chair. As much as some things changed, others remained reliably the same, like his mother's ability to salt everything to the point of inedibility.
Kate stared at the apology text on her phone. The one from Josh saying he was stuck in Africa. She willed herself to feel something. Anger, disappointment, sadness, but there was nothing. She wasn't even surprised. She couldn't fault him. He was saving lives, following his calling, just like she did everyday. Well, at least like she had before becoming Captain. Now there was just politics and paperwork.
Politics, paperwork, and Richard Castle.
She stared at the response she had typed, hit the backspace and typed again.
Kate pulled on her coat just as a new flurry of snow began to fall outside her office window, covering the ground like a blanket. She smiled. A white Christmas.
She pulled her cap down over her shoulder length shaggy cut of hair as she stepped out onto the sidewalk and stuffed her hands into her pockets, staring up at the falling flakes. The year had been tough. It had taken months to wade through the stages of grief after losing her father so suddenly to a heart attack the spring before. Now breaking up with Josh. But that was different. She felt… free.
She stopped at a coffee shop, the only open one she could find at 5:30 on Christmas day, on her way from visiting her parents' graves, and flexed her fingers, enjoying the blast of warm air as she waited for her order. The barista plopped two coffees on the counter and she took them with a quiet thank you, a bottle of wine nestled in the bag hanging from her elbow. She hailed a cab to outside in the dark snowy evening and tipped extra with a quiet Merry Christmas when they pulled up to the building on Broome. She stared up from the sidewalk. It had been years since she had been there. She passed the doorman with a smile, strolled into the elevator and out again, and down the hall to his door.
It all still looked the same, but it wasn't. Nothing was. She wasn't the same person she had been seven years before. Neither was he. And as she knocked, holding out the cappuccino when he swung the door open, his face painted with shocked delight, all she could hope was that they had both changed for the better.
"Merry Christmas, Castle."
A/N: Merry Everything and Happy Always to all of you. This was originally written as a 25 part installment for my Tumblr Castle Secret Santee Heaven-High-Water. I hope you all enjoyed this little AU Christmas tale. Xx
