After seeing the promo for the first episode of season 7, "Santabarbaratown 2", I wanted to write a bit on Shawn in the hospital with Henry. this is purely speculation, as the episode has not aired yet. I hope you enjoy it!
listen to "Things Left Unsaid" by Disciple while reading this :)
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
I woke up with a groan of pain. The stupid chair that I'd been sitting in since the night before was not an ideal bed. But upon opening my eyes, I remembered why I was here.
Dad lay in a hospital bed, with wires and and tubes connecting him to every type of machine imaginable. It was hard to believe it was actually him under all of that. He may as well have been a plastic dummy. That's how still he was. I hadn't seen a single twitch since they had brought him in here yesterday.
Yesterday.
I thought I'd solved a crime. I thought it was over. But I'd missed one guy. The guy who'd shot my dad. Dad had been fine last night. We were going to go out for a beer, and it was going to be the first time we actually wanted to be together just to hang out.
"First, I've gotta break some bad news to an old friend."
Dad's words from the day before still haunted me. Why hadn't I insisted that we just go? I should have known something wasn't right.
I leaned forward, grasping Dad's limp hand in both of mine.
"Dad?" I whispered after a pause. "Can you hear me? There's something that I've gotta say."
Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked hard as I looked on his still form.
"Look, I know we've had our differences and there's a ton of stuff that we still may never agree on. But you've still always been there for me and helped me. I don't think it's time for you to go."
The weight of the last 24 hours suddenly came crashing down on me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears rolled, unchecked, down my face.
"Dad, you've gotta hold on. Please. I need you," I sobbed.
I clung to his hand for all I was worth, tears blurring my vision. I'd never felt to helpless, so scared.
I sat there for what felt like ages, tears rolling down my face. The various machines blinked and beeped and their sounds were the only indication that there was a living, breathing human in that bed.
"Please wake up, Dad. Please."
I leaned forward onto the side of the bed, laying my cheek on his cold fingers. A few minutes later, a hand touched my shoulder and I looked up blearily to see Gus standing over me.
"How is he?" Gus asked gently.
I leaned back in the chair, hastily wiping at my tear-streaked face with one hand while still holding Dad's hand with the other.
"No change," I said shakily, looking at the floor. "He's so still."
Gus looked at me. "How are you?"
The tears threatened to spill over again with the next words I spoke.
"I can't let him go. I need him to be okay. If he dies, I'll never forgive myself."
"Shawn, it's not your fault - " Gus began, but I cut him off.
"If I hadn't missed his other partner if I hadn't been so sloppy with solving the case, Dad would have been okay right now. If Buzz hadn't been going through those papers..."
I couldn't finish that thought. I refused to imagine the outcome of that scenario.
"He has to be okay, Gus," I whispered, tears once again pouring down my face. "We were just starting to really care about each other. He has to be okay."
I felt a slight pressure on my hand and looked back at the bed, startled. Dad's fingers were curled ever so slightly around my own. Gus saw it too and gave me a small smile.
For the first time all day, I felt myself relax, just a little. He was going to be okay. I had to believe that. I kissed his hand, blinking away fresh tears.
"I love you, Dad."
