VOY – Get It Right

Surprisingly, this is set in canon. Shortly after Seven and Chakotay go public with their relationship, Kathryn reflects on her past ones. This takes place sometime between Homestead and Renaissance Man.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, Glee, or anything else you recognise. I just own a few too many addictions to more than a few TV shows… and a laptop.

VOYVOYVOYVOYVOYVOYVOY

The mess hall was abandoned when Kathryn walked in, and for this she was glad; even the well-meaning Neelix, though he was no longer with Voyager, would have been too much for her to handle in her present state.

Instructing the computer to leave the lights off, she replicated herself a cup of coffee before moving to stand in front of a viewport. They weren't in the vicinity of any interesting special anomalies, so she only had a view of the stars that flew by at warp as they continued their journey home.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she sighed heavily. After spending the afternoon with Naomi, the little girl had simultaneously cheered her up and depressed at the same time. For the most part, it was Tom Paris' fault, he and his twentieth century television addiction had spread to the youngest member of her crew, and Naomi had seen fit to share it instead of them focusing on her science lesson.

Today, Naomi had shared a twenty-first century musical show based in a high school, and the songs they had performed were very memorable. One specific song was now stuck in her head.

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right?

The lyrics rang true in her head, and as she watched the stars flying by at warp speed, she thought about the ultimate betrayal that had been thrust upon her.

She should be happy for them, she thought, for finding happiness with each other while they were all stranded in the middle of nowhere, much like Tom and B'Elanna had. But still, she couldn't help but think back to New Earth, where they had been stranded all those years ago, and the peacefulness they had achieved whilst they were planetside.

She sighed heavily again. Maybe she was destined to be alone; first she lost Justin, then Mark, though neither of them by choice, and that was hard enough. She was the one to use Kashyk, but in her defence, he had done the same thing to her, and they both knew it.

Jaffen was the one she left behind by choice, and every now and again she still regretted the look she left on his face when he returned to the surface of Quarra.

But now, she had been betrayed by the man who still continued to stand by her every day, by a woman she had rescued and now thought of as a daughter. It was the ultimate betrayal, one she would find hard to forget.

But, as her mother always said, the heart wants what it wants, and you can't help who you fall in love with.

The only problem was, she was still in love with him.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

When all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

The doors hissed open, interrupting her tranquillity, and Kathryn turned to see who dared intrude on her solitude. Though it was a public place, most crew members knew better than to interrupt her during her current mood.

Most excluded her senior staff, and definitely the man who betrayed her.

The very same man who stood in front of her now.

"What do you want?" she asked tiredly, not turning from the window. She could see his reflection clearly, and their eyes met in the glass.

"I never meant to betray you, Kathryn," Chakotay said quietly, not breaking eye contact with her. "I never meant to hurt you, to make you think you're not good enough."

"Then why did you?" she was trying to keep the poison from lacing her tone, but it wasn't working very well. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she turned to face him. "Why did you?" she asked again, this time in a calmer, toneless voice.

This was the voice that scared him; he had witnessed it before, when Tom had stolen the Flyer to help the Moneans, when they had been stranded in the Void for such a long period of time. This was the voice he associated with her depression and disappointment, and it wasn't a mood he was keen to see anywhere in the near future.

"I'm not like you, Kathryn, I can't wait forever," he sighed regretfully, taking a step closer to his captain, to the woman who would always and forever hold the proverbial keys to his heart.

"Do you even love her?" she asked quietly. Truth be told, she didn't want to know the answer, but she desperately needed to if she wanted to move on with her own life. She moved to stand directly in front of him, well within his personal space, and cupped a cheek with her free hand.

"Enough to make a life with her," he answered regretfully.

She sighed and took a step back to her original position, close to the viewport, staring out at the stars outside. The unknown; it was called that for a reason, yet strangely, at this moment, the uncertainty they faced in their journey home was more comforting than knowing she had lost the love of her life to a much younger woman.

Seven of Nine to Chakotay

Speak of the devil, she thought, and shook her head. Chakotay broke eye contact to answer the comm call, and to Kathryn it felt as if she had lost him, then and there.

Maybe she was destined to be alone, she couldn't help but think. Live out the rest of her days, whether it be on Voyager, or on Earth should they make it back there, without anyone to spend every day with, any real family to speak of.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

When all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right?

"Is it too much to ask for you to be happy for us?" Chakotay asked quietly some time later, after he had finished the comm call and Kathryn was once again lost in the song.

She turned from the window again to look him directly in the eyes. "Who am I to stop you?"

A flicker of a smile appeared at the corners of Chakotay's mouth, but it vanished before either could comment.

"Get some sleep, Kathryn," he told her softly. "You never know what tomorrow will bring."

She watched as he walked out of the mess hall, once again leaving her to her thoughts, the stars her only company. She took the chance to collapse into one of the lounges that had appeared years ago, from where she had never found out, and let a strangled sob escape her mouth.

It was final, she had lost him.

To get it ri-igh-ight