I'd like to thank the guest reviewer kitkat for giving me inspiration for this one-shot with his/her review for mattTheWriter072's story, Next in Line. His/her review was just the words "willy wonka eats a kitkat", and I'm pretty sure it was a joke review, but the image instilled by that phrase was too funny for me to pass up. Even now, I'm not exactly sure why. I'm not exactly sure why I decided to write this either, or why I even bothered to post it, but here it is, I guess. Enjoy?


"Come on, just try it," Charlie pleaded.

"No. I will not. I shall not. I can not. I have been loyal to my own candy for far too long for me to suddenly break my loyalty," Willy Wonka said.

"But it's so good! Please? Just try a little piece?"

Willy looked down on the orange-wrapped candy that Charlie was offering him. It read "Kit Kat" in huge white letters. "Oh, fine. If it'll make you happy. Please forgive me, my candies. Just this once, and I will never betray you again."

Willy took the candy from Charlie and pinched one of the ends of the wrapper with both his hands. He tore the wrapping open and stared at the array of four slender, chocolate-covered wafers that had awaited within. They looked like four chocolatey-brown bars of gold. Would they be as valuable to the tongue as gold was to the wallet? Only one way to find out.

Willy broke off one of the wafers and held it between his right index finger and thumb. Here it is. The first candy that isn't mine I will have eaten since I started making candy of my own in the first place. Come on, just one bite. It doesn't even have to be a full bite, just a tiny iota of a bite. Just enough for the taste to barely spread about my tongue. It probably won't even be that good. But what if it is? What if it's better than my chocolate? What will I do then? Will I have to steal the secret recipe and claim it as my own? Is that considered a chocolate monopoly? Chocopoly? Monocolate? Okay, calm down; let's not be silly. Nothing can be better than my chocolate. And I'm certainly not stealing any recipes. Well, however it will taste, I better taste it quick, because it's starting to melt on my glove.

Willy finally did the inevitable. He took a bite of the Kit Kat. Not a huge bite. But not a small bite either. A reasonable bite. He rolled the piece around in his mouth, letting the milk chocolate coating melt all across his tongue until all that was left was the crisp wafer. Willy crunched down on it, giving a crunchy end to this satisfying indulgence. The creamy chocolate coating in conjunction with the crisp crunchiness of the wafer made it the best candy Willy hadn't invented himself that he had tasted.

But what would he tell Charlie? Would he prove him right? That other chocolate companies actually have some competence in their products? That someone else has made a candy almost worthy of earning the Wonka name? Would he announce to the world and all of his candies that he has been seduced by the dark side that is candy not invented by Willy Wonka? No. There was only one thing he could say.

"Eh, I knew it wouldn't be that great."