Sometimes...
Sometimes, when it's dark, she thinks he's Tom. She'll turn over in the night, and her breath will catch in her throat. They look so similar, his black hair and pale skin stand out against the darkness. She represses the stab of disappointment that she feels when she realizes that it's simply Harry. That doesn't stop her from brushing his hair from his eyes and imagining, just for a second, how different it would be if the irises staring back at her were blue. She tries to rid these thoughts from her mind. But they always stick, and she just does her best to ignore them.
Sometimes, when Harry touches her, it reminds her of Tom. His caress is always soft and comforting. If she closes her eyes she can hear Tom's voice, as smooth as silk, coaxing her to him. She remembers his words, sweet and calming, how they always made her feel so safe, just like Harry. She could drown in those words, like she can never drown in him.
Sometimes, when Harry's angry, she is the tiniest bit afraid. He always rages with a power that she can feel down to her bones, it is a power that she remembers so well, one that emanated from the pages of a diary she once wrote in. There is a certain wildness to his eyes that she gets lost in. At those times she cannot distinguish between one man and the other. Both rave about injustice, both devote themselves so fanatically to their cause, both drag her behind them as she is hypnotized by their sheer force. She becomes confused, the past and the present muddle together.
Sometimes she recalls waking up in the Chamber and opening her eyes. She remembers the blurry image that she saw, and she had hoped, oh so desperately hoped, that it was him, Tom, rescuing her. She remembered biting back her regret as she realized that it was Harry, only Harry.
Sometimes she goes over the events in her mind, as she did day after day once she was rescued. She still can barely believe it. She never fully believed it, that the man who knew her heart of hearts could be so cruel. She tries to conjure the image of his face, but it has faded from her memory. All she can see is Harry, covered in blood, sword in hand, standing in the Chamber. And sometimes she cries, because she feels that she has lost him, this man who loved her so well. Even though she knows that he didn't ever really.
Most of the time she is happy. Most of the time she lives her life like she knows she should. Most of the time she can distinguish between love and evil.
But sometimes, sometimes she remembers that Harry was her first crush, but Tom was her first love. And sometimes she misses the feeling of being perfectly understood. She remembers the feeling she had when talking to Tom, as if he could see into her mind (which, she now thinks, he probably could). Sometimes she hears the echo of his voice, Ginny, I understand, tell me everything. She would tell him everything.
Sometimes she fools herself into thinking that he loved her, because sometimes she still loves him.
oO0Oo
AN: I haven't written anything Harry Potter in a while, and anything I have written is only worthy of a garbage can. This was quickly written and unbeta'd. So if you have concrit it would be greatly appreciated.
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