He was late. It was unlike him but no one questioned it. Under current circumstances, punctuality was the last thing expected of him. In all fairness, he wasn't technically supposed to be working; he had a week's compassionate leave, but he just couldn't sit in the lonely apartment, surrounded by all her things anymore. No, he needed to keep his mind occupied, keep distracted, and the one place he could fully achieve that? Work. Or so he thought.

As soon as Ressler stepped off the elevator, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. Sympathy, pity and concern laced stares bore into him as he made his way through the Post Office. Ressler hated it, it made him appear weak, vulnerable and he didn't want his colleagues to view him in that way. The usual minute walk to his shared office took nearly ten; people stopping, shaking his hands or touching his arm offering their condolences. He was fast regretting his decision to come into work. They were suffocating him with their worry and kindness. But the thing that was getting to him the most and making this unbearable? The concerned stare coming from the one person that had yet to come over to him, his partner – Elizabeth Keen.

As he sat down at his desk, he knew it was only a matter of time before she made her way to him; after all, this was her office to. It took her longer than he expected for her to get to him, but when she walked into the office and put a steaming mug of coffee on the desk in front of him, he understood why.

"Thanks, Keen." Ressler muttered as he gratefully took the mug and sipped its scolding contents.

"You're welcome." Keen replied, as she headed to her desk, away from the door she had just closed.

He refused to look up at her, needed to avoid her gaze, because he knew as soon as he made eye contact with her, he'd crumble. She'd seen him cry once already and he didn't want that happening again. Ressler tried to pretend he couldn't feel her gaze and busied himself with finding paperwork he could do. He would admit later that he had failed miserably at ignoring his partner's watchful eye.

"If you've got something to say, say it Keen, if not, stop bloody staring at me, its unsettling."

"You shouldn't be here, Ressler. You should be at home. No one expects you to be working, not now. You didn't want to be here the moment you walked in, don't put yourself through this."

"How could you possibly know that I didn't want to be here? Yes, I have the time off, but in case you haven't noticed, I chose to be here today." Dammit. She was good. He may have disliked her in the beginning but the months since her first day have become easy, even enjoyable, what with her ability to read people and the fact she was a damn good agent.

"You forget, I'm a profiler, it's my job. You don't want to be here. I watched you walk out that elevator and stiffen up. You were uncomfortable, still are, because you know the moment you leave this office people will be offering support to you again and you can't stand that. What I don't know and understand is why you're willingly putting yourself through this? You need time. You need to go home."

Ressler, dropping the pen he was holding, finally looked at his partner and she could now see how close he was to breaking. Trembling slightly, he pushed himself away from his desk and walked towards the window to close the blinds so if he does indeed crumble, none of his other colleagues would see.

"You really don't get it do you, Liz?" He turned to her and stared into her bright eyes. He could see her register the use of her first name, which was unusual for him. There had only ever been a handful of occasions where they had used first names, all of which had occurred after a life threatening situation. "I can't be at home. She moved in, was in the process of finishing moving her stuff before I dragged her out of there with the intention of keeping her safe. Every time I'm in that apartment, I see her. I'm constantly surrounded by her things and I don't think I can stand it anymore. This is my only escape… Well this or I hit the bottle."

He looked away, couldn't look at her anymore. No one knew what he had just told her. No one knew how far he and Audrey had gotten into their rekindled relationship in the three short months they had gotten together. He could hear Keen as she moved behind him, moved towards him. His breath caught in his throat as he felt her touch his arm to try and turn him round and to his surprise, he turned willingly.

They stood there locked in one another's gaze for what felt like a lifetime. He noticed how Liz's eyes glistened as they slowly filled with silent tears but he didn't have the energy to pull his own away from hers. Together they stood there, Liz silently comforting her partner whilst his walls came down. It was only after his tears started flowing freely that she spoke.

"Ressler… Don… I'm so sorry. I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what you're going through because I don't. I can't imagine exactly how you must be feeling. But I do know the pain of losing someone you love. I know losing my father isn't the same as you losing Audrey but grief is grief, Don. Having my fathers' things around me helped, I think, because it felt like he was still close, like he wasn't completely gone. Having some of her things around you might help. Eventually you will find the strength to cope with going through her things, but for now, just let them comfort you. Remember her, keep her spirit close and find your own pace of letting go, don't force it."

He had closed his eyes whilst she had spoken softly to him. She still had her hand resting on his arm and knowing that she truly cared for him was comforting. It took a few minutes but when he finally reopened his eyes, he managed a faint resemblance of a smile towards his partner.

"Thank you, Liz. I needed that." Ressler pushed himself away from the wall and used his hands to wipe the tears and their tracks from his face, unintentionally forcing Liz's hand to leave his arm. "I think I understand what you're saying, I just –"

A knock on the office door stopped him in his tracks. Dread washed over him as he contemplated who was about to open the door and see him in such a state. To his surprise, however, whoever was at the door didn't barge in; instead, they called through to let them know Liz was needed.

"Agent Keen?" Meera called through the door. "Cooper wants us for a debriefing in five minutes. He wants your report on… the latest case."

"Okay, thanks, Meera. I'll be ready in a few."

Liz gave Ressler the once over. His head was bowed and he now had a sombre look upon his face. She reckoned he had a very clear idea on exactly what report Cooper wanted. She walked to her desk to gather what she needed for the debriefing.

"Don, I –"

"You don't have to explain yourself. I broke the rules, I went against regulations. It's your job, Liz. You have to do what's right, I'm not going to blame you for that, so don't feel bad for anything you've put in that report okay?" She nodded to him but she still looked guilty as hell. Ressler felt sorry for her, he had acted out of order that day and she had to write him up but he didn't resent her, if he remembered correctly, he'd done a very similar thing to her a good few months back.

"I need to head down, and I don't really want to see you here when I get back but I won't try and force you. Just think about what I said. Time is everything." With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her. It wasn't long after she left that Ressler decided that she was right, he shouldn't be here, he didn't need to be. He grabbed his keys and slipped out of the office, not before leaving Liz a note.


She'd been in with Cooper for over an hour, defending Resslers name. It had worked, but she didn't need to try particularly hard – no one blamed Donald Ressler for his actions. On her way back to her office she wondered if he would still be there, she stood by what she'd said to him earlier, but she also wanted to be near him to make sure he was alright. It would seem that the Agent had listened to her after all, judging by the note left on her desk.

Liz, I thought about what you said and you're right. I shouldn't be throwing myself back into work so soon, I need to grieve and that's what I plan on doing. I think I might ask Cooper to extend the leave; I should go and see Audrey's family, spend some time with them. Thank you for today, it means a lot. Don.

She couldn't help but smile to herself. At least he was giving himself time. As she sat there, she looked around the room they shared, even though it had only been an hour since she saw him, she realised she missed him. Liz couldn't figure out whether she missed him because she knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a while, or whether she missed him because, well, she missed him. She decided to settle on the former, even though in her mind she was mentally slapping herself. Liz contemplated all that had gone on in the last few days, the struggle Ressler must be going through. She knew he felt guilty for not being able to keep Audrey safe, knew that he blamed himself because if it wasn't for his job, she would have been out of danger, safe and sound. For the first time in months, Liz's sole focus wasn't her own problems, they were now Resslers.


Ressler had been sitting in his car outside his apartment for nearly two hours. He'd left the Post Office determined to face being around Audrey's things but as he parked and looked towards his building, he had felt his chest constrict and he could barely breathe. He tried to think back to what Liz had said to him but he couldn't, all he could think of was Audrey. Everything they could have had, could have been, if only he'd been able to keep her safe…

The two hours he'd been there was as long as it had taken him to regain control. He didn't feel better per se, after his little break down, but he had felt stronger, felt that he had the ability to face his demons. Ressler unlocked his apartment slowly, taking deep breaths to keep control of himself as he entered his once happy home. He managed until he hit the couch, where lying in front of it on the coffee table was a small, open suitcase full of some of her more personal things. It felt like an eternity before he walked to the kitchen – there were none of her things in there. Tears were once again flowing freely down his face and he knew it was only a matter of time before he broke completely. Five bottles of beer and two tumblers of whiskey later he made his way back to his living room, accidentally knocking into Audrey's suitcase and knocking it off the table as he went. Closing his eyes and bracing himself, he crouched down slowly to retrieve the fallen items. A pink box caught his eye and as he lifted it he realised what it was, and the fact that it was empty. Was she? Had she been? He carelessly sorted through the rest of her things before stumbling towards the bathroom, digging through the bin in there but coming up empty. Realising that she wouldn't have thrown it if it meant something, and that she wouldn't have kept it if it didn't, he almost ran to the bedroom and threw her things out of the draws he had cleared for her. Ressler only made it through one draw before he found it. There, the thin white stick held one word. Pregnant.

"No. God, please no… No…" As he walked out of the room, Ressler punched the bedroom door with such force; he put a fist sized hole through it. He found himself back in the kitchen, downing half a bottle of God knows what from the cupboard. Slumping against the wall, he slowly slipped down it, steadily losing consciousness as his drunken state took over him. Within seconds, Ressler had passed out, the half-drunk bottle of alcohol in one hand, and clutching the pregnancy test in the other.