Insanity Hawke #1

The "Snap"

As the creature stood shakily up from its chair, Ailia could almost feel the tattered remnants of her mind shattering into more pieces than could ever be reassembled. This was the final straw, she had managed to pick up the pieces of herself three times before, and Hawke couldn't do it a fourth time.

Her father had died from a swift, terrible bout with illness, which had just about broken her; Daddy was always her favorite, he had taught her how to make the fire, pretty fire. Her sister had been crushed by an Ogre, though, now that she thought of it, brains were quite an attractive shade. She should have a gown commission in that particular shade of grey, she would look marvelous in a dress that color. Too bad they had to leave the body behind or she could have used what was left on the ground as a color swatch. Carver, poor, poor Carver, she had been forced to kill him herself. She had waited, waited until there was no possible alternative, but then she had stabbed him in the heart, Hawke had held her little brother in her arms until the light was gone from his eyes and his life blood had soaked her robe. She had never had the heart to wash it, the poor tattered thing hung still in her wardrobe, now stained the rust color of old blood. It might make a nice pillow covering…

Hawke started to giggle at the Bloodmage that had placed her mother's head onto a construct made of bits and pieces of other, now dead, women. The madman was taken aback, and asked her what was so funny.

"I'm just imagining the hours it must have taken you to sew that thing together. I can envision you sitting at the fire, night after night, mumbling to yourself as you made those clumsy stitches. It's sweet really, you're like a blind grandmother trying to make a doll," Hawke actually laughed out loud, "Well, a blind grandmother, you really are a horrible seamstress. You should have hired the elf from the alienage, you'd never be able to see where one woman ended and another began." Anders, Varric, and Aveline watched this verbal transaction, struck silent with a mixture of horror and pity.

Hawke lifted her hand and created a swirling ball of fire; she looked into its dancing depths and smiled. "So can we get to the part where I kill you? I'm bored." The maniac enclosed himself within a shield and summoned his first wave of demons. This was more like it, Hawke thought to herself, she so loved playing with demons. They made the best sounds when you burned them, not quite as good as people, but this would do. For now.


A/N: Welcome to my new series: Insanity Hawke! The title is pretty much self-explanatory. I tried to play one of my canon Hawkes like this, but Bioware included limited "Batshit Crazy" dialogue options. I like to think of this series as humor/horror as I evaluate different scenes from throughout the game, rewriting them to reflect how Insanity Hawke would really react. I may jump to scenes before Insanity Hawke should technically exist, just for funsises.