Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya

Prompt: Convinced that Shizu-chan has super speshul feelings for Izaya, Erika obeys her her womanly duty to help Shizuo communicate them.
I want fake love letters, Shizuo and Izaya locked in a room together, and improper cues from Erika for Shizuo to tell Izaya "how he really feels."
The more cheesy cliches, the better.


Erika always knew that it was so. Just like she could always tell which girl would win in harem anime, her instinct never erred. That was why when she spotted the sakura trees in bloom, pink heart shaped petals fluttering in the air and the only thing missing a touching soundtrack and a close up on Izaya's bashful smile as he turned around, she knew without a doubt that she had stumbled across a romantic scene of epic proportions.
Of course, she had tracked Shizuo ('stalking' was for amateurs) to this park and her suspicious were confirmed by his throwing a kid slide at Izaya.
"Izaya! You die today! Fucking louse! I'll kill you!"
Pure tsundere. Izaya soon gone, dashing madly, fur fringe fluttering as he ran for dear life. Erika pictured it in slow motion. Time for her to put her grand plan into motion, because there was no better season than spring for love to blossom (without forgetting winter and summer as per KyoAni's decision).

"Shizuo! Hello, how you doing?"
Erika just happened to visit the sushi restaurant just when Shizuo was about to gobble down a few rolls of makizushi. She took a seat next to him.
"That Izaya, I've told him time and time again not to come to Ikebukuro!"
He down a few cups of sake. Erika nodded, playing the understanding friend character was fun. She saw right through Shizuo and dismissed his brooding manner as a typical sign of a sentimental attachment that his delinquent personality kept him from admitting to. Which was when she came in.
"You know how sunset, the sea, going to an amusement park, eating a bento on the school's rooftop-"
"Simon! More of these and some soy sauce! And let me know if you see Izaya! I'll make fatty tuna out of him."
Erika read some subtext into it. She changed tactics, clearly Shizuo had no concept of romantic settings.
"So you saw Izaya today?"
Shizuo pointed his chopsticks at her.
"Ruined my entire day."
He chewed on wasabi.
"I think it is always for the best to express your feelings clearly. Or else you will regret it later."
Shizuo seemed to muse about this, chewing slowly as he did so.
"You're right."
Erika perked up immediately. Surely this would be her crowning moment of greatness.
"Shizuo, you should just tell Izaya-"
"Simon! This wasabi isn't spicy! I don't want your sissy Russian stuff! Bring some decent wasabi!"
She chalked down 'big eater' on her chart of character traits that applied to Shizuo, which made him a companion to Hei or Allen with hints of Doumeki.
"So…what're you doing after dinner?"
Shizuo grunted.
"Patrolling. I'm checking out Izaya's hanging spots and if I find him, we'll be having Izaya sashimi."
Erika giggled at the thought. Apparently along with this obsession Shizuo also had some creative culinary metaphors.
"Can I tag along?"
"Don't care."

That was how Erika ended up walking side by side with Shizuo down dark alleys and peering around corners. Shizuo hardly seemed aware that she was present at all and Erika had to run to keep up with his strides.
"I think it's wonderful that you two are on first name basis."
He blinked as if noticing she was there for the first time. This mission sent her BL sensors tingling.
"Huh? You mean me and the louse?"
"Yes!"
Shizuo got a can of juice from a vending machine and handed her another. Erika imagined him as the school tough guy that picks up kitties in the rain and shelters them in their leather jackets. Then she changed the daydream just to include catear!Izaya instead of an actual cat.
"That's because I've known him since school."
Erika did an inward dance. Now this was absolutely perfect and fit into her previous fantasies. She wondered how Izaya would look in a sailor fuku.
"How was Izaya in high school? Did he run to school with a bit of toast in his mouth because he was late and then bumped into you? And then was all 'kyaa!" because you saw his pink panties under his skirt?"
Shizuo blinked.
"Huh? What are you going on about?"
"Oh, nothing in particular…but how was Izaya back then?"
Shizuo shrugged.
"Same as he is a now. A lowlife, an asshole, a bastard, a fucking louse!"