Still Waters, Raging Rivers

Author: ShaViva

Rating: K+

Season: 5

Summary: "I'm kind of interested in somebody else". Rodney finds out about that conversation between Jennifer and Ronon ... and offers his support as only Rodney can. Tag to season 5 'The Lost Tribe'.

Classifications: Romance/Action/Friendship

Pairings: McKeller

Spoilers for: Season 4 Quarantine (very minor) and Season 5 The Lost Tribe at this stage, may be others later if I continue this.

Disclaimer: I am unfortunately not associated in any way with the creators, owners, or producers of Stargate or any of its media franchises. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, equipment, etc are the property of whoever owns them. Any original characters, plot, settings, and anything else I made up are the property of me, the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Copyright (c) 2008 ShaViva

oOo

Chapter 1: The unsubtle art of rejection

"God you are so stupid!"

Rodney looked up in curiosity as the sounds of someone muttering to themselves echoed in the darkened mess hall. It was late, too late for there to be traffic ... he was used to the solitude of coffee ... and yeah okay his lab had coffee but not leftover muffins. He liked to sit by the window, the lights from the city sparkling just enough to sufficiently illuminate his work. Tonight he was working on repair schedules for the Control Room, admittedly not at his usual efficent pace because his mind was continually being distracted with thoughts about activating the Attero device. They had no way of knowing yet the full scope of the damage ... all Rodney could do was desperately hope the Travellers were the only ones besides Atlantis to have experienced an exploding Stargate. Although even those 3000 lost lives were more than he wanted to contemplate.

"You're kind of interested in somebody else ... could that have sounded any more lame?!"

The mutterer continued their self flagellation ... Rodney raised an eyebrow as the words registered. This was getting interesting.

"God, he looked so hurt. Nice one Doctor 'Do no harm'!"

Rodney straightened abruptly as the combination of words and the closing proximity of the speaker announced the identity of his late night interloper.

"Jennifer?" he called out before he could overhear any more.

"R- Rodney?" Jennifer squeaked nervously, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen area with a steaming mug in hand.

"What are you doing up so late?" Rodney deliberately glossed over what he'd overheard, pretty sure the last thing she'd wanted was a witness.

"Couldn't sleep," Jennifer made her way slowly over to his table, slumping down in the seat adjacent to him. "Thought a drink might help."

"Oh," Rodney glanced at her uncertainly before looking away. The silence began to stretch out uncomfortably before he'd gathered himself enough to talk to her ... not that he had to psych himself up to speak to Jennifer ... much ... but he didn't want to let his mouth run away from his brain and end up with his foot in his mouth. "Did ah ... is there ... do you want to talk about it?"

"Have you ever had to let someone down when you were sure they liked you a certain way, even though they never said it, when you didn't feel the same way?" Jennifer rushed out.

"Um ... not really," Rodney admitted. "More the other way around actually."

"I've been on the receiving end too," Jennifer offered. "Not too many guys were interested in a know it all brainiac three years younger than them."

Rodney wasn't sure what he should say about that - that he couldn't believe someone as talented and beautiful and just plain sweet as Jennifer had ever been turned down by anyone? That he was more than interested in this particular brainiac who was who knows how many years younger than him? In the end he decided on silence, waiting for Jennifer to continue.

"I never would have said this in the past, but now? I think I'd prefer the rejection," Jennifer sighed sadly. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but ... it's wrong to let someone believe something is one way when it's another. Isn't it?"

"I'd want to know," Rodney said simply.

"So would I," Jennifer agreed. "Only thing is - he said I was wrong."

Now Rodney was in it - he knew, or at least suspected with very little possibility that he was wrong, that Jennifer was talking about Ronon. And so he knew that she wasn't wrong - Ronon had as good as admitted that he had intentions. Should Rodney tell Jennifer that? Would that be betraying his friendship with Ronon? And if he didn't say anything was that a betrayal of his feelings, his friendship with Jennifer? This relationship stuff was painfully beyond comprehension which was why he avoided it at all costs. Only somehow these people - Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon ... and now Jennifer had gotten under his skin and past his defences, forcing him to muddle along in situations like this.

"Do you think you were wrong?" Rodney turned it back onto her, giving himself more time to think.

"No," Jennifer said simply. "I don't have a lot of experience with something like this but I know people ... you have to be able to read the unspoken just as much as what a patient says to be a good doctor. Ronon was careful with his words but the unspoken stuff ... that told it's own story."

"Maybe he wanted to let you off easy," Rodney suggested softly. "If you care about someone you don't want them to be upset ... even when it's because they said something that hurt you first."

"I didn't leave him any choice," Jennifer admitted. "I was terrible at letting him down gently ... the look in his eyes Rodney ... it was awful, like I crushed him somehow."

"We're talking about Ronon right?" Rodney couldn't keep talking about this unless she knew he was aware of her admirers identity.

"How did you ...," Jennifer trailed off when Rodney shook his head, silently asking her not to question that. "Yeah okay, it's Ronon. He comes over so tough you know ... I honestly didn't think he'd care that much."

"You've heard the phrase 'still waters run deep'?" Rodney asked. "They were thinking about Ronon when they wrote that."

"I guess that would make you the raging river then," Jennifer laughed at Rodney's expression that clearly he said he didn't know whether to be insulted or complimented by that.

"More like a babbling brook," Rodney suggested, "emphasis on babbling."

Jennifer smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood before sighing again. "Do you think I led him on?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Rodney said self depreciatingly. "We all know how oblivious I am to stuff like this."

"That's not making me feel better Rodney," Jennifer complained mockingly. "It's just that," she hesitated before going on, "during the quarantine Ronan and I did share a moment. Maybe I was too receptive to that, too keen to get to know him better because the opening was there when it never had been before. I let my curiosity about him as a person, my desire to learn all the things he could teach me about surviving here drive me and gave him the wrong impression in the process. Oh God this is all my fault isn't it?"

"Jennifer," Rodney reached out and put a hand over the hands she was wringing together in agitation. "Ronon's a big boy - he survived for seven years by himself because he's smart and he knows people too. You didn't lead him on."

"Okay," Jennifer said softly, stilling the nervous movement of her hands but not taking them from under Rodney's. "He's gonna go back to his old self with me isn't he?"

"Probably," Rodney agreed. "His tough scary exterior is there because he is tough and scary but ... how else do you hold in everything he's lived through?"

"Okay well that just made me feel worse again," Jennifer jerked her hands away from his and sat back in her chair.

"I told you I wasn't very good at this," Rodney complained. "What do you want me to say? The truth is you're the first woman to get past Ronon's shield since Sateda and it sucks for him that you don't feel the same. That doesn't make it your fault!"

"Just shoot me now," Jennifer put her head down on the table, miserably contemplating the next few weeks. Ronon would probably avoid the infirmary to avoid her which would be as good as putting a notice up on the bulletin board that they'd had a falling out.

"Come on," Rodney's hand hovered over her hair before he finally settled it on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "It's late ... and you can't solve this one tonight." Getting up from his chair he held out a hand until she looked up at him. "Escort you to your quarters Ma'am?"

"Why thank you kind Sir," Jennifer smiled, letting him pull her up from her chair. He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and guided her from the room.

They walked in companionable silence until they arrived at Jennifer's door, Rodney caught up in thinking about the irony of comforting the woman he was in love with over something that had happened with another man. Could things get any stranger than that?

"Thank you Rodney," Jennifer said simply. She turned to enter the room but was brought to an abrupt halt by Rodney's next question.

"So what did you tell Ronon to put him off?" Rodney asked curiously. When she stood stock still without responding Rodney gave a nervous chuckle. "Not that you have to tell me or anything ... I was just curious."

"I said I was interested in somebody else," Jennifer admitted without looking at him. She'd walked into her room and the door had swooshed closed behind her before Rodney came back to himself.

"Oh," he squeezed a hand over his forehead in tiredness, stared at her door for a few seconds, and then walked away.

Authors Note:

I've read all the tags to The Lost Tribe from the Ronon/Keller point of view which got me thinking about the McKeller angle. This story is my attempt to make it all right for everyone because that's just the type of person I am! Not that I have yet ... but I could try ... if I took this a little further. Interested?