Author's Note:

A while ago, I encountered a comic series on DeviantArt called 'DaRealWurld40k'. This fanfiction is an adaption of that series which, sadly, has not been updated in a long time the last time I checked the artist's account.

Anyway, prepare for laughs, gore, drama, and HERESY!


Prologue

Within the Warp

"So, are we in agreement?" An incandescent, golden figure with a mane of glorious black hair of unparalleled lushness and fabulousness, said to the assembled Warp and non-Warp entities who were sat with him. They were all sat around a wide, round table within a grand circular chamber, a stain glass window behind each of the entities. Above them, a sun, rivalling the brightness of the golden figure, illuminated the chamber. This golden figure was the psychic manifestation of the God-Emperor of Mankind. "Will we all set aside our vast differences to-"

"YES! WE HAVE AGREED WITH YOUR PLAN, CORPSE-GOD!" A tall figure in a suit of brass armour shouted at the golden figure, slamming both his fists on the table. This was the Chaos God of Blood and War, Khorne.

The Emperor sighed, planted his face into the palm of his hand and replied. "I am not a god, you petulant dog!"

"Tell that to the raving maniacs running around the galaxy with swords, and shouting your praise whilst they repeatedly stab my children." A gentle, yet despondent female voice said. The speaker was a woman in a dirty white dress, her blonde-hair set in a tall ponytail, and her ears were pointy. She was Isha, Eldar Goddess of Fertility and one of the last of their pantheon of gods.

The Emperor groaned. He was going to get a migraine if this conversation went down that rabbit-hole. Looking to the entities that would be in charge of enacting their plan, the Emperor asked them. "Ugh, Tzeentch. Cegorach. Deceiver. Is everything ready?"

The three entities mentioned, the first a creature whose appearance and colour constantly shifted though most of the time it resembled a blue, confused mollusk with spindly arms and legs, the second wore an extravagant, multi-coloured jester outfit with a smiling mask, and the third was a golden naked horned man, whose only form of modestly was a single piece of golden cloth.

"wA ARe reaDy, AnAThemA." The confused mollusk, Tzeentch, the Chaos God of Change and Sorcery, declared. "It wIlL All gO jUst aS pLaNNeD. *Insert disturbing laugh here*"

"Hehehehe. The play is nearly ready to begin, all it needs is its actors." The jester, Cegorach, the Eldar God of laughter, said before proceeding to laugh. *Insert Mark Hamill Joker laugh here*

"We're not ready." The Deceiver, the C'tan of Trickery, lied from within his little bubble of realspace. *Insert creepy laugh here*

"Good." The Emperor said. He snapped his fingers, and the circular chamber turned into a rectangular room with all the entities sitting on one large coach, a fridge to their left, a door to a bathroom to their right, and a large TV screen in front of them. Doing a quick headcount of all who were present, the Master of Mankind noticed that two of their number were not present. "Where's Khaine and Slaanesh? They were just here a minute ago."

A bloated, decaying pile of rot and disease, Nurgle, the Chaos God of Pestilence and Decay, provided the answer to the Emperor's question. "*Belch* Oh, poor Khaine is simply relieving some stress and frustration that's been building up for over last ten millennia on young, little Slaanesh. I'm sure their getting on swimmingly."

Meanwhile, in the bathroom. The fiery form of Khaine, Eldar God of War, was indeed relieving his frustrations against Slaanesh inside one of the bathroom's stalls, by repeatedly pummeling him/her/it with his bloody left fist, and choking the life out of it with his right.

"THIS. IS. FOR. SHATTERING. ME. TO. PIECES. AT. THE. FALL. YOU. PIECE. OF. S***!" Khaine howled as his slammed his fist into Slaanesh's face even harder and faster, and tightened his iron grip on its throat. It had taken some time, but, thanks to the efforts of the Harlequins and the Blood Ravens, all the Avatars of Khaine were stolen from the Craftworlds or wherever they lay and were gathered together and remade into the god that he had once been.

Slaanesh, the Chaos God of Pleasure and Excess, however, smiled and moaned in ecstasy before whispering a single word loud enough for Khaine to hear. "Harder."

Hearing Slaanesh moan and whispered words made Khaine stop, and look on the Chaos God in disgust and horror, one of his eyes twitching. Moments later, the door to the bathroom opened, Slaanesh's disturbingly attractive female form walked out as if it had just had the most mind-blowing experience of its life, Khaine walking slowly afterwards, his face blank but an eye still twitching.

"Let's do that again sometime." Slaanesh said in a sing song manner as she sat down on the coach, Khaine sitting as far away from the Prince of Excess as he could. Every one of the other gods were also disturbed and inched away from Slaanesh as much as they were able. This disturbing environment was broken, thankfully, by the arrival of two more deities of the 41st Millennium. Two green, loud, and very destructive deities.

One of the room's walls was blasted opened, and two hulking, green bipedal fungi walked in. The two gods of the Orks. Gork, kunnin' but brutal, and Mork, brutal but kunnin'. The two smashed through the wall, buckets of popcorn in their arms, and simultaneously said to the assembled gods. "Sorry we'ze late boyz, we'ze got sidetrack'd by dat munchy git. Da 'ive Mind. It 'ad wanted ta come wid us, bu' we krumped 'im on da 'ead good we'ze did. Anywayz, 'ere iz da popcorn ya wanted."

The various gods each received a bucket of popcorn from Gork and Mork, and looked to the screen. Watching their followers wage constant war against each other had been fun for a while, though, they all had to admit that it did get kind of repetitive and boring at times. For, as Gork and Mork o' so eloquently put it, 'dem beakie 'umie boyz kept on krumpin' evryun.' 'Da pointy 'eads kept on failin' an' dyin.' 'Da Chaos boyz led by da Armless Failur' were losin' all da time.' I could go on, but I think I got the message across by now. There were a few shenanigans that happened here and there that caught the gods' eyes, but other then that, it was almost the same old thing really.

And so, the various gods of the galaxy's warring races came together to solve their little dilemma of boredom. There had been a lot of arguing at first. Then there was some punching. Khorne chased after Slaanesh for a while because it stole his chainaxe. Then there was some hugging and crying, followed by some more punching with a bit of biting and sorcerous fireworks. After all that, they had all come to an agreement over an idea that might look stupid and sound ridiculous at first, but might just work. The idea?

Send a representative of each of the races to another universe and force them to work together. Now, that may sound ridiculous, but there was some reason behind this. For, if all the races of their galaxy fighting each other was deemed amusing by the gods, then what would them living together be? And so, thanks to the manipulation of Cegorach and the Deceiver, the two gods got all the Orks to believe that Gork and Mork could punch so hard they could create a hole in the Warp that lead into another universe. Once that was achieved, the Ork gods did just that, and the gods had their way to the universe that would be their new playground.

If that doesn't make sense, then tough luck. The author had no idea what they were writing about either.

And so, the gods now had the venue for what they had planned. A planet of green and blue, populated by humans and an abhuman race, and plagued by creatures of darkness. Now, they had to pick their representatives. Thankfully for them, they had a whole galaxy to choose from.


Right, that's the prologue done.

If you think this is a good idea, let me know in the reviews or PM me.

Or, if you think that this fanfiction is a stinking pile of heresy, and that I should throw myself into the nearest warp-portal to a Slaaneshi Daemon World and become a Chaos Spawn, you're welcome to say that as well.

Below will be the list of "lucky" chosen who will be sent to Remnant. Still deciding on a few things, but I think I've narrowed it down a little. You, the reader, can make suggestions, though, I can make no promises on whether or not I will actually do them.

Space Marine Captain

Name: ?

Chapter: Trying not to use Ultramarines, I don't hate the smurfs, their just overused

Weapons:

- Thunder Hammer or Power Sword/Axe or Chainsword

- Bolt Pistol

- Maybe a Jump Pack

Chaos Space Marine Havoc Aspiring Champion

Name: ?

Legion: ?

Weapons:

- Heavy Bolter or Autocannon or Plasma Gun

Ork Nob or Mekboy or Kommando

Name: ?

Klan: Blood Axes

Weapons:

- Choppa

- Kustom Shoota or Big Shoota

- Stikkbombz

Tau Shas'la or Shas'ui

Name: ?

Sept: T'au or Farsight Enclaves

Weapons:

- Pulse Rifle or Pulse Blaster

- (If wearing XV15 or XV25 Stealth Battlesuit) Burst Cannon

- (If piloting XV8 Crisis Battlesuit) Plasma Rifle and Missle Pod

Eldar Farseer or Warlock

Name: ?

Craftworld: Ulthwe

Weapons:

- Singing Spear or Witchblade

- Shuriken Pistol

Dark Eldar Wych or Incubus

Name: ?

Cult or Kabal: Cult of Strife or Black Heart Kabal

Weapons:

- (If Wych) Knife and Splinter Pistol

- (If Incubus) Klaive or Demi-Klaives