The Way
By YunCyn
A/N: Sequel to "Joining The Play", this story is set a month after the four leave the town where the Trader's Festival had been held. For those who haven't read the preceding fic to this one, it is recommended, although not required, that you read it first. Be warned though, it's much longer than this. There're some references to that (since this IS the sequel of sorts…) But it shouldn't affect the story too much. Also, there're references to a scene in volume 8. (Hey, in all Loki and Fenris stories, there's ALWAYS a reference to book 8. XD)
Disclaimer: Ragnarok © Lee Myung Jin/Myung Jin Lee, depending on whether you go by Western or Eastern naming order
It was a sunny day, full of promise and vigour. Forests were alive with its citizens busily trundling along their way, knowing nothing other than their green, shady haven. The trees rustled and were full of birds, living life one day at a time, thinking nothing of the next week or the next day. The green leaves were occasionally moved by a strong breeze that chose to give the old trees voices for a few brief moments.
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And then they had to come along.
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"LIDIA!"
"It wasn't ME!"
"LIDIA!"
"What part of "it wasn't me" don't you understand!"
"LIDIA!"
"You guys, DO something!"
"We're already restraining her from killing you. What more do you want?"
"Tying her to a chair maybe!"
"We don't have a chair, Lidia."
"LIDIA, YOU'RE A DEAD GIRL WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"
"Iris, please, calm down…"
"I don't care! She ruined my DRESS! The dress I bought with my own MONEY! Do you KNOW how much zeny that cost me!"
"It was an honest mistake…! A complete- WOAH! Watch it with that sword of yours!"
"Oh, I'll watch it alright! I'll watch it slice your empty, air-filled HEAD OFF! AARGH!"
"Iris, if you don't calm down, you're going to really kill someone…"
"That's the whole IDEA!"
"Honestly, Lidia, why couldn't you just leave the poor girl's outfit alone?"
"And just WHOSE side are you on, Sessy?"
"The side of the one waving a large, lethal, very pointy sword around in a very erratic manner."
"SESSY! YIPE-!"
-
Lidia, the "treasure hunter" who had met and were travelling with the others for two nights now, ducked as Iris swung her sword for the umpteenth time. The rest did the same since the girl was too busy yelling and screaming in rage to watch where she was swinging the very dangerous unsheathed sword.
Loki sighed as his head came up and he hung onto the struggling, squalling Iris. To his mind, this was a rather large overreaction to something as trivial as marker drawings over one's outfit. The same for Chaos, the other male who was struggling to hold Iris back.
To Iris, being publicly declared "Cellulite Cleric" and "Fat Headed Chicken Girl" in permanent black marker was just asking for severe mutilation and a painful death.
Fenris, the one who had been assigned to restrain Iris by the waist shook her head. She knew the insults were uncalled for and Lidia had had no right to do this to Iris. After all, she was going to have to wear this dress into the next town unless she wanted to cause a major riot walking around in the nude.
Still, couldn't she make sure she was aiming for the thief instead of the rest of them?
Fenris sighed. Her blue eyes caught Loki's. Their expressions mirrored each other: exasperation.
Chaos on the other hand, was more than exasperated. He was getting very irritated and tired of trying to keep a hold of this flailing, thrashing, screaming girl he called his best friend. (Or maybe something more. He could never really quite admit it.)
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"Lidia, I don't care whether you say it's your fault or not! Just say sorry and promise to buy her a new dress in the next town!"
"WHAT!" screeched the thief. "A new dress too?"
"NOW, Lidia! Before I let her go!"
"LET ME AT HER!"
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll never touch your stuff again!"
Chaos raised an eyebrow. "And…?"
"And… I'll… I'll… b, bu…" Lidia's lips struggled to form the words. "B, buy you a ne…ne…"
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"
"I'llbuyyouanewdress!" Lidia turned and gagged. "Such words! Such vulgar words from my own mouth! I ought to be horsewhipped!"
-
"No argument there…" muttered Loki as Iris finally calmed down enough to sheathe her sword. Gradually, she was released as she grinned evilly and planned to pick the most expensive, elaborate dress there was in the next town. Lidia saw her zeny flying away on little white, feathery wings. She knew darn well that she would have to fork out the money no matter what considering that Iris had this really annoying hold over her all because of one very handsome, cool, utterly desirable, positively drool worthy assassin by the name of Loki.
Speaking of which… Lidia turned her eyes onto the dark haired man who had gone on ahead. She sighed as her eyes hungrily roamed every inch of his physique. The strong, muscular back, the straight, unmoving posture, the purposeful stride, his luscious butt-
"You better get a bucket before the others notice your saliva," reminded Sessy dryly from around her neck.
"Shut up, Sessy." Lidia sighed as she continued to gaze after him. She could really just look at him all day and not get tired. The thief still remembered the very first time he had held her hand.
Well, technically he had grabbed her wrist to stop her from harming Iris but that was a technicality that could be overlooked. (Read: Oblivious Lidia.)
Suddenly, he glanced behind and shot her an ice blue glare.
"Stop staring at me."
WHAT the- how did he- "I was NOT!"
"…stop," was all he said before turning his head back to the front again.
And again, Lidia marveled at the sudden ways he acted, the cool collective front he had and the silent knowing skills he had within him.
Her mind drifted off with fantastic images of her in a white wedding gown. She would be swathed in pure white silk, embroidered with gold threads everywhere. Her gossamer veil would sparkle under the light with real tiny diamonds sewn onto it. Her arms would be covered in elbow length gloves and her happy glowing face would look up shyly at the groom, Loki, looking so dashing in his tuxedo. And just as they sealed their eternal love with a long, passionate kiss, Iris would be red faced and screaming in indignation outside while the guests commented on how suitable the new couple looked…
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WHOMP!
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"I TOLD you to look out for the tree." Her two-tailed cat dryly said, from the ground. She had jumped off an instant before Lidia had kissed tree bark with her entire face.
Behind her, Chaos and Fenris sweat dropped as Iris doubled over and laughed hysterically. Loki turned his head to see Lidia stuffing a cloth to her nose to stop the bleeding. He blinked once and then turned around again, not wanting to know.
At least it would stop her from looking at him for a while. All that focus made his back creep with nervousness and dislike. It was all he could do to keep reminding himself that it was only Lidia's eyes and not the focus of some enemy within the bushes or trees.
Not to mention, he had to concentrate on restraining himself from hitting Lidia unconscious with a large stick just to get her to stop staring.
-
-
"It'll be another two days to the next town." Chaos sighed. "Looks like we're camping out for tomorrow night too," commented the rune-knight as they sat around a bonfire that night.
Loki only nodded wordlessly. Treks through seemingly endless forests and other surroundings had become second nature to him.
Fenris though let out a small sigh but voiced no complaint. As tough as she was and as willing as she was to go through with all the usual inconveniences of traveling on foot, she knew and appreciated the comforts of a mattress and a roof over her head. The nights had been rainy these past days, with slight misty drizzles, lulling everyone to sleep early in the night. It made look outs rather difficult, at least, for her. She didn't think she could say the same for a certain assassin or a certain redheaded rune knight.
Iris groaned audibly. "Four nights of camping. This is just wrong."
Lidia sniffed, having silently vowed to copy her beloved and suffer (or so she thought) in silent dignity. "I thought you village girls were used to the hard life."
"I am NOT a village girl!" retorted Iris, glaring at the thief, sitting opposite her. Chaos palmed his forehead as another senseless argument began. Sessy just jumped down from her mistress's neck and curled up beside Lidia, going to sleep and ignoring the arguing.
Just so she could get away from the flying insults and barbs that would very soon escalate into a physical catfight that involved pinching cheeks and slapping, Fenris got to her feet. "I'll look around then come back and take the first watch. Goodnight, everyone."
Chaos tossed her a nod. "Night, Fenris." He then went back to rubbing his temples at the volume Iris and Lidia were arguing at.
That nod reminded Fenris strongly of the difference in which he used to wish her. Not with a nod but with tokens of his affections that usually delayed her goodnights. However, it didn't hurt quite as much as it once did for some reason or another. Just a dull thud and a wistful thought was all that appeared.
It surprised her.
A minute later, a calm gaze accompanied Loki's quiet voice. "Good night, Fenris."
She met his eyes and nodded with a small smile. Not expecting any reply from either Lidia or Iris since they were too busy pulling at each other's hair, she went off into the forests, looking out for danger towards them.
Along the way, her mind was slightly scared at how accustomed she was getting used to seeing Chaos and Iris together without feeling hurt or torn into two. It hadn't been so long ago that she felt like falling apart when Chaos threw Iris loving looks that she couldn't see. Now whenever she saw that, her memory threw out scenes of him doing the same with her and a wistful, dull thud in her heart would emerge.
But it no longer resembled a stab through the heart or a million sharp pieces of broken glass shards piercing her soul.
Was time healing her? She knew very well he wasn't hers any longer. But she still wanted to be by Chaos's side no matter what.
Yet she was already doing that. Not as the lover she once was and wanted but as a friend, as a comrade. As someone he trusted in.
Had her heart gradually accepted that fact?
Fenris sighed. She wanted to stop agonizing over this man. She was tired of letting her heart crash again and again like the ocean waves against the sand.
Yet she was afraid of letting go, afraid of releasing her fierce hold onto her thoughts as Balder's true love. She was unusually nervous of moving on over Chaos, a little scared of putting the reasons why she fell in love with him behind her.
However, deep within her, she knew she would always recall. The sweet memories of her time with him would always stay within her no matter how far she went. But that would only be in the past. Now, in the present, she would love him as a friend, love him as a fellow comrade, love him as a most trusted and missed brother.
As for whom she would love in a different manner now… that remained to be seen. Although she had a vague idea, she wasn't about to rush headlong into it. Neither he nor she was ready for it.
Fenris took in a deep breath of the forest air and smiled a little. Somewhere by the sea, she knew, the waves didn't end with a crash. Moments later, it really ended with a gentle retreat and left a damp imprint on the seashore until the next wave came about.
-
-
Some hours later, Loki turned his back to the fire and closed his eyes as everyone settled down to sleep.
Only to open them again to see who was the person trying to get comfortable next to him. He wasn't at all surprised by who it was.
Iris had taken up a spot beside Chaos by the fire. Since Chaos was on the right side of the bonfire, this meant that Loki would be on the left.
There was NO way that Lidia was passing up a chance to sleep in close proximity to Loki.
She grinned at him, a bright red blush spread all over her face. "Uh… guess we're kinda like roomies, huh?"
Loki only raised one eyebrow then closed his eyes again. "Good night."
"G, good, n, night…!" The thief squeakily and very happily answered. She shut her eyes tight and smiled, squealing within the privacy of her head that he actually wished her goodnight! That had to mean something, didn't it? Of course it did! She could already hear the wedding bells…
Loki let a few minutes go by as he carefully heard Lidia's breathing turn even and slow. He slowly opened his eyes again and watched the thief's expression change from some silly smile to an ordinary face as she entered her dreams. Silently, he got to his feet and crept away without so much as a whisper. Slipping into the forests easily, he kept his eyes around him, watching the scurrying nocturnal denizens of the old forest.
There was always something about forests that made Loki although a little calmer, a little more tense as well. One never knew what lay behind any bush, rock or tree. But the aura that the ground and air held was old and sacred. It had seen many things in its years and was rarely surprised by anything. It was stable and steady as it just waited and watched.
It reminded him of Fenris somehow.
While Iris was held akin to the wild ocean waves and Chaos to the strong, whipping winds of the monsoon, Fenris was compared to the old forests. Steady and calm in all things, holding everything within. She never said a word of pain and rare was a complaint of discomfort.
She also did the same thing to him: a little more wary but her presence relaxed him by an inch.
He had wondered many times if it was wrong of him to try and alleviate the pain he could see. He knew nothing he did would erase it but he wanted to at least try, no matter how uncharacteristic it was for him. It was in his nature, he supposed. He didn't like to see familiar faces in pain or unease. It had been the same with his friends at the guild, with Iris, admittedly Chaos and perhaps Lidia. But for Fenris…
It was unusually stronger, this urge to protect.
The memory of that incident before they had reached Geffen was also etched into his memory. Before he had caught her hand, he had seen her expression. By the look on her face, she had resigned to her fate, one that seemingly deemed her unable to live another day.
He couldn't allow that.
So, with a grip of steel, he clutched onto her hand, using all of his strength to jam his sword into the wooden plank and hold onto her. There was no way he was going to let her just fall like that. Not without a fight.
Loki released a small breath. He was still unused to how suddenly his mind would turn to the blue-eyed warrior. His mind was wandering dangerously and he silently rebuked himself for losing focus. The assassin went back to everything around him, keeping watch. He didn't know how far he went into the depths, although he carefully marked his trail back to camp.
Then, he saw her.
She stood there among the trees, her back to him. Moonlight illuminated her hair flowing down just like a waterfall from her head. He stood from a distance, letting his blue eyes observe how it seemed to shine under the rays, imitating the shimmering, gleaming waters of a running river in sunlight. The graceful way that she held herself just looking up to the moon and the stars held his attention for a little while.
It hadn't been so long ago. He could almost hear the strains of a song and almost see the dimness of the lanterns in a dark garden.
He could still remember how strongly an urge had risen in him to ask her, to forget everything about Chaos and Iris and just dance with him.
Purposely, he stepped on a dry twig. She jolted and turned around, staff out in a flash. Her shoulders relaxed and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was only him standing by a tree.
"Loki, what're you doing up?"
"…Sleep fails to come tonight," he lied glibly as he came to stand beside her. There was silence as she looked curiously at him for a moment before returning her attention to the velvet night. Around them, the crickets sang and some frogs croaked. It wasn't total quiet but a peaceful calmness that surrounded them as they stood at the edge of the forest.
"… what are you looking at?" he asked finally in a soft tone.
The full moon gave out a strong pale glow from its place in the sky as she answered. "The moon." She turned to him with a small smile. "But without any questions to ask."
"…" Loki turned to the moon as well. "I've noticed. You no longer look at the stars with questions."
Her small smile remained as she looked back upwards. "I still have questions… but not ones that need to be answered right now. And not by the stars."
He nodded in silent answer. Then, Fenris's quiet voice came through again. "…do you ever ask questions in the night, Loki?"
Unexpectedly, he replies after a pause. "… ones without answers."
"…it must be lonely, being what you are."
Loki's blue eyes were fixed on the glow of the moon. There was silence for a long while. Then his voice suddenly sounded far away in its reply. "…It is normal. Understanding is something I never expect from anyone. Perhaps not even myself."
He let out a breath as Fenris looked at him quietly. She hadn't known just how far he was saddened by people's misjudgement. Even if he seemed so robotic in manner, he was still human and had feelings. It was something they tended to forget.
"…we understand you. In a way," she said attempting to let him know he needn't be so alone, needn't be so sad.
He looked at her for a minute out of the corner of his eyes. Gratefulness could be vaguely seen before he looked back to the moon. "…perhaps."
Fenris decided to let it go as she looked back to the moon and thought of the ones she journeyed with.
All different but rather the same, the five of them (she still remembered Lidia). Every one of them had lost things that meant much to their hearts. Fenris, her life once and her love, Loki, something close to family, Chaos and Iris, friends and family and Lidia, her father. All of them lost but still remained strong and continued.
Their strength partly came from the memory of what used to be, she supposed. Strength in the hope that they could make their loved ones proud by pushing on and the knowledge that they would have wanted the living to carry on and be strong.
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To carry on walking and dancing while they still had blood in their veins and life in their limbs.
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"…Loki."
He turned to her silently, frosty blue eyes calm.
"…will you dance with me again?" The tinge of pink on her face was barely visible although it was there.
Without words, he held out his hand to her. Once again, she slipped her right hand into his and placed her left on his shoulder. Once again, Loki put one hand on her waist and without any prompting whatsoever, began to sway to music they heard only in their heads.
It really seemed so natural, so easy to slip into the positions they were in. It was a secret between the two of them. Neither had breathed a word about their dance to either Chaos or Iris. It seemed right to keep this knowledge to themselves.
And it wasn't at all strange or weird to match each other's movements as if they had been dancing with each other all their lives.
There was no piano or saxophone, no dulcet voice to guide them in their steps. But the forests had their own band as well. The cricket's chirps grew louder and melodious. A bullfrog's bass croaks supported the choir of insects. The trees high above Loki and Fenris's heads rustled with their own kind of music. It seemed as if they were all anxious to recreate the moment the two had had some time ago in the inn garden.
It wasn't awkward to twirl Fenris so she lightly spun across the grass. It wasn't peculiar for her to come twirling back and be caught by Loki's hands again. It was… fitting.
No words passed from either one of them, not wanting to break the rhythm they were held in, only telling glances and revealing looks. Occasionally a cautious, tiny smile would venture from Fenris's lips and Loki's gaze would soften a little more. Once again, there were no hawk eye glaring or stony looks. Just something less hard, less concentrated. It was as if with her, he was allowed to let a little of himself go, drop two out of the five shields he placed around himself.
As for her, she was able to let her thoughts go. Let it all melt away into the blueness of his eyes. She could see the concern hidden behind an icy wall. She was safe from the cares of the world for a moment, her memory erasing for a short time, the wounds and scars. She was safe with him and she knew his grip was strong, not allowing anything to slip through his fingers.
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Not even her.
-
Destiny could be put on hold. Fate could wait for a little while. Whatever he was, human or not, whatever she was going through, hurt or disappointment… they were gently tossed to the wind tonight. In this moment in time, there was nothing but each other.
The way they were feeling right now, a sense of calmness, peace and serenity… They knew this could be a temporary refuge from their lives, a refuge both of them shared with one another.
Both didn't know just how long they swayed together beneath the moon, hanging like a glowing lantern in the dark of night. But then again, neither cared as Fenris moved carefully to place her head on Loki's shoulder. Loki merely stiffened for an instant before his spine relaxed and his hand travelled from her waist to her back, resting easily there.
Fear, nervousness, whatever cautious warnings could be dealt with tomorrow.
For now…
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They just remembered the way they felt and quietly sighed in relief and contentment.
-
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"GAAAAAAAAAH!"
-
Lidia jolted in utter fright and shock. Sitting up, she looked wildly around for something.
Relief flooded through her like warm water as she saw Fenris and Iris giving her puzzled looks alongside Chaos, who was making breakfast and Loki had each raised an eyebrow at her. Her cat was eating some eggs and looked up.
"Bad dream, Lidia?"
The treasure hunter shook her head as her heart slowed down to a normal pace. "Bad, scary, totally WEIRD dream… I dreamt you," She pointed at Fenris. "And YOU," Her finger turned to Loki.
-
"Were DANCING together."
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There was a pause.
Then Iris and Chaos set off into peals of hysterical laughter. Sessy rolled her eyes and went back to her eggs. Loki's raised eyebrow just shot higher.
"…ridiculous." He commented. Fenris shook her head with an incredulous expression on her face.
"Loki! Dancing!" Chaos doubled over and shook in laughter, streams of tears pouring from his eyes.
"Waltzing! Tango!" wheezed Iris, leaning against her redheaded friend, stomach aching from so much laughter.
Lidia was just plain upset as she snatched an egg from Sessy.
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Why hadn't she dreamed it was HER dancing with Loki!
-
What the knight, the cleric, the thief and the cat failed to notice was that as Fenris turned away, Loki caught her eye. A rush of light crimson reached her cheeks as she met his lighter blue eyes. Lidia must have sleep walked while they were dancing yesterday night and they hadn't noticed.
But they remembered how comfortable Fenris's head had been on Loki's shoulder and how comforting it had been to have Loki's hand on Fenris's back.
Most of all, they remembered the way they felt.
She smiled at the assassin. His gaze softened.
-
Next full moon, mouthed Fenris.
Loki nodded.
-
And both turned away, keeping their secret refuge to themselves.
-
The End.
A/N: "The Way" (c) Clay Aiken and its writers.
Hehehehee… just got volume 8, saw what happened on the airship, squealed like a clown, wrote the sequel. I admit though, it's not as good as its predecessor. Nonetheless, I enjoyed writing it somehow.
It didn't help that "The Way" is playing on repeat at the moment. Goodness, I love that song…
This perhaps should not be classified as a sequel since this is kinda like in between the story and the epilogue of "Joining The Play". If you'll recall, the epilogue took place a few months after. This is only one month. Perhaps its more of an explanation on how they cultivated that habit of dancing once a month under moonlight. (grin)
I had a LOT of fun writing Lidia's imaginations and her ogling Loki. (cackles) But really, I'm not up to that fangirl level. I just adore the way Fenris and Loki look together. (big smile)
I also did mean to have Lidia come across the dance in the original idea but not in this way. Hmmm… ah well, no big deal. The story took on a life of its own as all stories are inclined to do after a while. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this much shorter sequel. (snicker) Peace out!
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A/N2: 3 Sept 05: Now, before you lynch me for removing the lyrics, I'd rather change the story a bit than get kicked off the site, y'know? That's my standing anyway. But if you have the song, just hit play while you read it and I think you can get the same effect. (smiles) Thanks for your understanding.
