The Onion Song

Chouji made his best effort to cheer Shikamaru up.

"C'mon, Shikamaru, it wasn't bound to last, you know that…" he said, patting his friend brusquely on the shoulder. "Ino has always liked Sasuke—even you knew that."

Shikamaru made a small gurgle of a noise. "Chouji, go away. Or at least buy me some sake."

"You shouldn't be drinking," Chouji scolded. "Or sulking."

"Listen, Chouji," Shikamaru said, looking up from his arms. "I just need some time alone and drunk, okay? Now be a friend and get me something strong."

Chouji frowned. He didn't like seeing his friend like this. He heaved a great sigh—there was only one thing to do.

"Alright, Shikamaru, get up," he said sternly. The other boy gave him an annoyed look. "It's time for you to learn the Onion Song."

Shikamaru gave him a blank stare.

"It works, really," Chouji insisted, smiling.

"Chouji. What's so hard about getting me a bottle of alcohol?"

"I made up this song," Chouji said loudly over him, "when I was chopping onions for a stew. And when I chop onions, I always end up crying, so I made up this song so I wouldn't cry anymore."

"…Have you been reading shoujo manga again?"

Chouji silenced him with a Look. Finally, Shikamaru gave a resigned sigh. "Alright, alright, how does it go?"

"Just learn the chorus. It goes 'the world is just a great big onion'. Okay? Sing it."

"The world is a great big onion," Shikamaru repeated dully, looking bored. "It didn't work."

"Because you didn't sing it," Chouji said, with a completely serious look on his face. Shikamaru began to grumble.

"Listen, Chouji, I'm not really in the mood—"

"JUST SING IT."

"…"

" 'The world is just a great big onion'. Like that."

Shikamaru heaved a great big sigh, as if he were about to do something incredibly onerous. "The world…" Shikamaru said softly, "is just… a great. Big. Onion." He snorted in amusement.

"SEE?" Chouji said eagerly. "It worked!"

"The world is just a great big onion," Shikamaru repeated, raising his voice, grinning slightly. Chouji beamed, and sang along, in his great booming voice. Shikamaru joined in at the chorus, yelling as loudly as he could until their voices rang in the night air.

"THE WORLD IS JUST A GREAT BIG ONION!!"