A/N: I'm really starting to think of this pairing as an obscure, yet interesting one…so, to kind of test it out, I wrote this simple little one shot. I'm thinking of turning this into a loosely related one shot series, since I think this pairing has a lot to show for itself, if given the time to bloom.
Story One: Faint Belief
Rating: T
Summary: Sometimes having a little faith in others is the first step to happiness.
I don't own Mai HiME.
Amidst The White:
Faint Belief
Footfalls echoed down the hall, but there was no other students left in the building this late in the evening. The sun was setting, but she sat there, leaning heavily on the desk, looking at old photographs. Pictures that she wished she could explain away, but she couldn't. She let a breath fall from her lips, and closed her eyes, pretending for just a moment, someone else would be there. That for just once in her life, someone would notice her, when she felt alone.
She opened her eyes, as soon as she realized how silly it was to pray for something like that, but even so, the happy photographs were nothing more than playing pretend in a time of hardship…forcing herself to laugh, when she really simply wanted to cry. Even so, the group pictures were memories that she felt as if she had to protect, even if they weren't her own.
The sterile smell of the nurses offices was once she had grown accustom with, as the very smell was something that consumed her life. Her past, and up until recently, had been consumed with visits to doctors when she went with her younger brother. Now that he was in America, she still visited the nurse's office every day, even when the woman who should have occupied the room, wasn't even there.
Mai's eyes wandered around the room, picking up glimpses of the white that cloaked it, from the curtains, to the cabinets, most things were colored in that pure, white color. She wondered if such a thing blinded the school's nurse, but, Mai doubted it. The bed in the corner, the one Takumi usually rested in during school hours was empty, since he was no longer there to fill the space.
The door opened and closed without the carrot top noticing. "Mai, what are you still doing here?" The voice was real, and not the figment of her imagination, that Mai thought it might have been.
"Oh, hey Ms. Sagisawa, I didn't know you were still around." Mai laughed, as she hopped off of the desk, and had the decency to offer a short bow. "All of the other faculty left, I thought that you would have too."
"Yohko." The nurse said then before taking a desired swig out of her paper cup. The logo of a nearby coffee shop came into view before Yohko tossed the empty cup in the trash. "As I keep telling you, you can call me by my first name when the students aren't around. Lord knows we see each other often enough."
"Have you heard anything?" Mai asked. It was the same question Mai asked every week when the mail came in from overseas. "Any letters, anything at all?"
"Afraid not." She did have a handful of papers, but, none of them were from Takumi. "Mai, I'm willing to bet he'll be okay with his rehabilitation. You shouldn't worry so much."
"It's easy to say that." Mai said, though in truth, it didn't make her feel any better. "I'm just used to being here for him, it's hard, knowing he's so far away, and I can't even see my own brother…" She sighed, running a hand through her short, tousled carrot colored hair. "You'd think I'd get used to this."
"He'll be back before you know it." Yohko answered without missing a beat. "To be honest, I'm more worried about you."
"I'll manage." Mai said offhandedly, pushing the lone window open to let the warm breeze in. "I would still feel better if I got some sort of call or letter from him, or something." She shrugged, knowing what she wanted didn't really matter.
"Akira's with him." Yohko pointed out, hoping that would be some sort of comfort, but, the look in violet eyes told otherwise. "So, where's Natsuki?" Yohko asked as she sat down at her desk to file away some paperwork.
"Who knows?" A warmth graced Mai's laughter, but, Yohko could tell it was just front. Mai didn't miss a beat though, as she pushed away her concern. "She gets on that bike hers, and just goes wherever she wants, whenever she wants…I can't keep track of her."
"Mikoto then?" Yohko questioned, prying again as she looked up from her work.
"She's been staying with Reito." Mai tried to sound happy about it, but the fact was, she worried about that too. "He better be making sure she's well fed, because if not, she gets crabby, and unmanageable."
"I see." Yohko lifted her eyebrows momentarily, but then returned to her work. "You're not usually alone, someone usually comes with you, even if they do complain the entire time."
"No, I suppose I'm not used to being by myself." Mai agreed, though she was unsure of just why she came here by herself. "I guess I came alone just because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. They've all got their lives back in order, and, I just feel like mine can't go back to normal until Takumi comes home."
"That'll be about four months or so." Yohko said then, pushing the file cabinet back into place. "I know it's hard, but try not to trouble yourself so much about it."
"How can I not?" Mai shook her head. "I've looked after him for so long, you know? It's hard to just worry about myself for a change." She laughed at that, feeling a little silly for admitting it. "I'm just not used to all the free time I have on my hands."
"Midori would be worried if she heard you say that." Yohko told her, unwilling to believe a person such as Mai couldn't find something to do. "Although, she has such a zest for life, I sometimes don't understand how she manages to live the way she does." Fond, yet distant memories became crystal clear. "She's very wise, but, I often wonder at what cost."
"I wish I could be that way." Mai said honestly. "The thing is, I'm just stuck, I think. It's like no matter what I try, I'm not really going anywhere." Then she offered what she hoped was a calm smile, she knew it was a failing endeavor. "I don't really do very good on my own. Even though, it feels like I've been that way a lot."
"That I can understand." Yohko looked over to the mountains that left little to be desired. She never really knew what went on, but, she knew not all of the students at the school were normal, and, that somehow, Midori was the same. The strange occurrences weren't something Yohko asked about. Even so, the murmurs were crystal clear. Something had gone on, and that something involved Mai directly...and Midori. "Mai, I don't know what you've seen, or what you think you think you've faced…but, I believe you can stop now."
"Can I really?" Mai asked, sometimes unsure of that herself. "It's over." She said cryptically. "But, now, no one knows what's next. It could be anything...so, can I really just relax?"
"It could be nothing." Yohko replied. "I think it's safe to say that you can take a break."
"For how long?" Mai asked then, a near desperation at the edges of her voice, the only thing keeping it even was pure resolve alone.
Yohko considered that, unsure of what she should say. Mai was not only a student of the academy, but she was also thrust into a world that Yohko knew she would never understand, and, over the time that Mai had attended the school, violet eyes had changed ever so slightly. They were a little stronger, a little older, and unquestionably wiser. They were, to some degree harder, jaded perhaps, in their own way.
"I wish I could say." Yohko murmured. "I just don't know."
"Yeah, I don't think anybody does." Mai didn't want to think about it, but, she knew that pretending that everything was simply over and done with didn't change the past, or, the things she faced. Those truths were hers alone...just as all of the other HiME had their own burdens to put to rest, she was trying to do the same with hers. "I think we can't even believe that everything is all said and done...we want too, but, I don't think everyone can yet...I know I can't."
Yohko finally felt an edge, something to hold onto, protected by her good friendship with Midori. Held dear to her, by the things that such a close companion would never say. Such an image was before her now, that same look of complete exposure. Yohko felt it, the tense, unwavering heat of a woman who had seen hell. Mai wasn't the only girl to have undergone such an earthshattering transformation, but, she was one of the only ones to come out of the ordeal praying that life would return to the way it was before.
Sadly, that could never happen. The traces of those times were fading fast...but, that was probably for the better too, in its own way.
"Midori had eyes like yours, right before she left." Yohko said suddenly. "Eyes that told me she'd seen too much of something, but she would never tell me what that was." It seemed foolish now, to tell Mai something like that, but she continued anyway. "There were nights she would knock on my apartment door, and when I opened it to greet her, all I could see was this haunted look in her eyes. As if, she'd gazed upon something far worse than could ever be explained." Yohko knew, Mai was the same. She had participated in whatever strange occurrences had grasped hold upon the school like a vice. "Other times, it seemed like Midori had found something that gave her unending hope. I never knew for sure, why exactly she came to my apartment, as she never stayed long enough for me to find out."
"Yeah, sounds about right." Mai murmured. "We never seemed to catch a break, that's for sure."
"What I mean to say, is that I believe it really is over." Yohko said, as she stepped forward. "I believe you can go back to normal life."
"The only problem with that, is my life will never be normal again…even the things I used to do every day just aren't the same." She knew that wasn't exactly a bad thing, but the sudden changed unnerved her. "I guess I'm okay with it…or, I will be, eventually...Its just, overwhelming to think back on everything...or, to know the future isn't exactly written in the stars."
"Mai, if you wanted, my sofa folds out into a bed." Yohko offered casually, sticking her hands into her deep pockets. "You're more than welcome to stay over."
"It's alright." Mai said with a shake of her head. "Either way, I'd be on my own, so I should probably just go back to the dorm."
"My bed then." Yohko said all too quickly. "You don't have to be alone anymore."
"Is something like that really okay?" Mai asked then, feeling uneasy.
The answer for any normal person would have been no. It wasn't alright, but, Mai wasn't normal. Yohko could feel that deep down. "You tell me." Yohko replied, unwilling to admit that it was a gross negligence in proper conduct. "I was just a bystander, still am. So, if you believe it'll be okay, then I'll believe that too."
It took a while before Mai nodded. "I think, I'd like that."
