"Where am I", I thought as I stared at the dark ocean that stretched out before me. A pale moon shined down and the sand was a dark gray. Old trees twisted and entwined with each other along the shore, forming menacing shadows over the ground.
"Finally it is time", a voice echoed.
"Who's there?" I asked while looking around franticly until I saw a cloaked figure materialize above the ocean his garb barely touching the water.
"Who are you and what do you mean". I started walking as if in a trance toward this man out in the ocean but unlike him I did not simply hover above the dark ocean as he was. After the water had reached my waist I tried to stop my legs from moving forward but they just wouldn't cooperate. Soon the water was up to my neck. Until finally I was completely underwater with no ground beneath me anymore except for the one that lied miles beneath me. I tried to swim back up but I eventually gave up trying to reach the surface again and I began to sink and drown.
I opened my eyes shocked to find that I didn't die instead I was laying on a stained glass platform with a heart shaped symbol on it that was the same one that I wear on a silver chain around my neck. The one I've had ever since I can remember.
"Welcome to your doom mhahahahahahaha", a voice spoke.
"Okaaaayyyy", I said a bit confused.
"Hello my name is bob I will be the scary voice in your head tonight", said bob with a very cheery voice.
"Uh hi", I replied still a bit unsure of what was going on.
"Might I interest you in some complimentary coffee".
"No that's ok thanks", I replied trying to find where the voice was coming from.
"Are you sure I got frappachinos".
"No I would just like to get out of here".
"You can do that later but first you must pick a weapon". In front of me appeared three weapons a staff a shield and a sword. I pick up the shield and throw it like a Frisbee of death at the place I assumed the voice was coming from. "Wait what are you doing nooooooooo!!!!!" Gurgling noises of death were heard and then another frantic voice was heard.
"Nooooo bob I love you noooooooooo!!!!! What have you done you shall pay for killing bob" The platform shattered and I fell in slow motion a distance that would have easily kill someone had I not been falling in slow motion. As soon as I landed another voice that was a lot higher pitched a fast than the last one came from the darkness that surrounded me.
"Hello my name is gir".
"What happened to the other guy".
"Oh he kept crying about that bob guy he was driving me CRAZY so I shot a sandwich out of my head at him…. He's dead now" A door appeared out of nowhere "through that door is some people that you're going to talk to they got WAFFLES!!!!".
"Alright then", I said before going through the door and being temporarily blinded by a white light "no I don't wanna go into the light yet I have so much to live for", I shouted.
The light cleared and I was sitting in a booth at a coffee shop. Surrounded by three squirrels one next to me with a purple Mohawk, one across from me with huge glasses cradling a pill bottle, and another yelling at a purple haired woman at the counter. "Oh hello there it's about time you arrived" the one with the purple Mohawk said with a heavy British accent.
"Great now she's here now we can ask the questions that have no meaning that the dark scary people with the dark and scary cloaks told us to ask because they appear out of flames", said the one with the pills within about ten seconds which I didn't know was possible till now.
The one yelling at the lady turned his attention to me "Do you like bagels".
"Huh, that has got to be the most random question ever."
"Do you like bagels with cream cheese the cream cream creamy cheese cheesy cream?"
"Kind of I guess", I replied.
"Yay you passed", said the British squirrel.
"Now you gotta go fight the thing," said the pill-popper. The coffee shop disappeared and I was standing on the platform and a huge thing with a hole in it appeared and the shield I had killed someone with appeared in my hands covered in blood "they couldn't' have cleaned this off first before giving it back to me."I beat the thing with the shield and got blood on him.
"AHHHHHH NOOOO BLOOD" the thing faints and dies and I get sucked into a black portal.
YAY first chapter over with, ok in case you're wondering who the squirrels and the Goth lady were go to "Illwillpress" and by "gir" I meant the little robot from "invader zim" Please review and I'll update when I can.
