It has been three years since the outbreak happened; John has been fighting for his life and the lives of his closest friends. Him and Lestrade were the only good shots so they brought up the rear when moving from area to area. It has also been three years since John has lost his best friend Sherlock during the Moriarty incident. He was glad that Sherlock was not there to witness this horror. Though it would be great to have his insight against the zombies.
"Hurry up John we need to get to the next area before nightfall. You know this place will be crawling with them by then and it will make it hard for us to see and keep cover." Lestrade yelled over his shoulder as he turned the corner. Today was hard on John since it was exactly three years ago he saw his best friend fall. The day was just heavy with memories and fear.
"I know just keep going I will be right behind you." John ran as fast as he can. Something felt unusually heavy though. Like there was a presence of some kind near him. John couldn't tell what it was and didn't have time to think about it either. He turned the corner and heard a scream. Right in front of the group was a couple of zombies. John picked up his pace and ran right past the group and started shooting. He got the first zombie right between the eyes and turned to face the other and took him out rather quickly but he did not think about the order in taking them out so the last one was right behind John and closing in fast. Before John could turn around he heard the shot and heard the thud of the zombie hitting the ground. He looked up to see the grey haired man holding his gun and smoke coming out of the barrel. Lystrade lowered the gun and flashed a saddened face then turned annoyed.
"You need to be more careful John. You have been rather reckless lately and I will not always be here to save you!" The silver fox barked.
"Greg cut him some slack you should know what today is!" Molly rushed over to John who keeps staring at the ground in some sort of a trance.
"Yah well we all miss him dammit but it has been three years and he needs to not slack off any day. Things can turn real fast and if we lose one of us it might as well be all of us." Through all the screaming John just felt heavier and heavier. He was reckless but someone had to pay for his best friend's death since the man that caused it took his own life leaving nothing for John to extract his revenge. The zombie outbreak a few months after Sherlock's death gave John many targets for him to unleash his wrath on while protecting those he had left. John also knew if Sherlock was alive he could have maybe prevented this disaster. So many thoughts and feeling swam around his head. Thoughts of why am I still alive, Lestrade is right I am a burden during this time, Molly should not be defending me, I wish Sherlock was here and so forth. John fell to the ground.
"John!" Molly screamed as she ran to the doctor. "See what you have done? He has not been sleeping or eating well the past while and you had to go and yell at him." Molly cradled John in her arms to see if he was ok when he fell. He seemed ok and no head injuries. Lestrade came over to see for himself if John was ok. He let out a huge sigh as darkness encircled around the group. He knew he was too hard on John but times were dangerous. He picked up John and threw him over his shoulder.
"It is getting dark and we need to get moving to reach the others before it gets too late. It is not far so carrying John will not be a problem." Lestrade started walking ahead of the shaken Molly as he looked back. "Oh and Molly I apologize, you were right I am too hard on John." Molly smiled a faint smile and caught up to the grey haired man. They walked in silence to the abandoned house which was the meet up point for the team.
"You are late Greg." A voice slightly snarled as they entered the door.
"Sorry Sally but John had another episode. At least we made it at all." Lestrade set John on the couch and made his way to where the others were gathering.
"Well as I see it we are good here for a couple of days before we have to move again. I need to scout out the areas ahead to see about food and how the hoard has occupied the area. This time it can prove a challenge to scout the area since we are moving towards a once populous area of London. The mission will happen a day after tomorrow after we gather more supplies."
"If you haven't noticed we will need more ammo and maybe some more guns. Mycroft you maybe a scouting and supplies gathering genius but ammo and weapons are coming harder to find in some areas."
"That is why we are heading towards the heart of the city to get what we need. You think I do not know what we need and where to go?" Mycroft flashed Lestrade a curious stare.
"Lestrade please he knows best." Donovan sounded annoyed.
"I know he knows best but we travel so far away from the city sometimes that we cut it close on our supplies. He also knew what today was yet he still had us move knowing how John will react." Lystrade was hell bent on defending John since himself and Molly were the only ones who cared what he was going through and saved him from his deep depression only to be sent into this hell.
"It's ok Greg, I feel much better now after sleeping for a little while." John was up and walking towards the group.
"Oh look who finally woke up. Ready to spaz out again?"
"Shut up Anderson!"
"It's ok really Greg. It was my fault. I should have thought about my actions and thought about you guys. Mycroft I want in on that scouting mission if you have room for me." John shyly smiled but stood his ground.
"Well well look who is taking the leap wanting to make up for his mistakes. I do hope you will not way us down and know if you do we will leave you behind without thinking. "
"Mycroft!"
"I understand."
"Welcome to the team then Mr. Watson. You have a day to prepare yourself." Mycroft slyly grinned. Donovan and Anderson who were also part of the team let out a sigh. If things were different John would be an excellent member who could cover them but in his state he was quite the wild card.
There was barely any light that night as John made his way outside to sit on the steps. He always did this when he couldn't sleep which were most nights. At least he carried his gun with him in case a zombie got too close. He stopped mid step and looked back. He could have sworn something was behind him. Maybe it was even reaching for him. John shrugged it off to his nerves and continued his journey to the outside. He made sure no one saw him so they wouldn't take pity on him or scold him for not resting.
The air was crisp and cool against John's skin. There was no moon in the sky so the darkness was dense. He sat on the middle step. He stared into the darkness. A slight wind brushed across his face. John could have sworn he heard a voice on the wind. The more he looked into the darkness the more it took shape into his nightmare. He could have sworn he saw Sherlock walk towards him but someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and nearly fell down the rest of the stairs.
"Sorry for scaring you John." Molly's calm voice spoke at a whisper. She sat beside John keeping her eyes on him.
"It's ok. I just thought no one saw me when I left."
"Well I knew you always went outside to think when you could not sleep but I think tonight you need a friend."
"Oh who else knows?"
"Just Lestrade. You know he does care about you and doesn't want to see you hurt."
"I do but he does have the right to yell at me when I put others in harm's way. I should know that from when I was in the army for crying out loud!" John got more frustrated at himself and covered his head in shame.
"John you really do need to stop blaming yourself for everything. You can not move on unless you accept it is not your fault. We all need you. We do not want to see you die or become one of them. You know it would be hard for any of us to kill you." Molly became a little stern but John needed to hear those words. "You know Sherlock would want you to live on and not kill yourself over him."
A little pause. "You know a part of me died that day and I can not seem to bring it back. All I think of is how could I have prevented this. All I did was stand there and watch him fall." John was almost in tears even though most nights he could not fight them.
"There was nothing you can do. There was nothing I could do." Molly was crying now. She lived with just as much grief as John. "I wish there was something and I wish he was not dead but we have more concerns than grief to worry about. We have to survive. If you can't survive for yourself please survive for Sherlock to keep his memory alive." Molly was now sobbing and John went to hug her to calm her down. He never thought anyone else could be so torn up about Sherlock other than himself. He forgot that Molly did care just as much as John did. He felt warm and an odd sense of clarity. She was right he should live on to protect his best friend's memory.
The moment subsided and the embrace broke. Molly wiped her eyes. She smiled a little bit. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it." John returned a little smile. Another fluster of wind in the still night. "You know what is really funny is that I sometimes feel that Sherlock is here with me during my darkest of nights. I mean I feel like someone is always with me or behind me. Sometimes I swear I could even hear a voice. It gets stronger as we move towards the center of the city. I never told anyone this because they would think I am crazier than I already am."
"John you are not crazy. You just have an angel who really loves you looking from above."
"I am surprised I am loved by such an angel. Too bad I can not say thanks and that I love him in return." John was filled with sorrow again but fought off the worst of it.
"I think you will in time and even just staying alive and fighting is thanks enough. Now let's go back inside before either of us catches cold." Molly stood up and out stretched her hand towards the doctor. John took her hand and stood up. Molly went inside and John was following her when the wind whispered "John", John spun around but saw nothing just traces of a voice he could of sworn he recognized.
John woke up the next morning ready to begin the day. His dreams did not turn into nightmares after years of the same nightmare again and again. He went down the hall towards the gathering room. Everyone else was up and ready to begin the day. There was not much need for a night watch thanks to Mycroft's ingenious idea of trapping the door. John has never seen it in action but he thinks it has help others sleep at night. There was a little bit of fruit on the table. He took the last banana. Fruit was the first to go since it rotted fast and it was sparse. He sat down next to Lestrade who was sitting on the window sill keeping watch.
"Morning John."
"Morning Greg. Again sorry about yesterday and worrying you." John began to peel his banana.
"I should be the one to apologize. I was really hard on you given the day it was." Lestrade transferred his gaze from the window to the army doctor.
"I really am ready to start living for the group now. A little canary has told me that I am not the only one grief stricken and that I should live to protect his memory. She is right and I will try to live that way for now on."
"Said canary told me everything about last night. I am glad to finally have you back John. Want to sit with me today and keep watch?" Lestrade tapped to the ledge next to him.
"Don't mind if I do!" John leapt at the chance. Today was meant as a day of relaxation to regain their strength. Another on of Mycroft's ideas that works well. Mycroft would use books to research places to go and stock up on supplies. Lestrade keeps watch and gives him time to be alone and think. Molly would read books she finds when they move. Donovan can not keep still so she paces from time to time. She does not like that they could be ambushed at any time. Anderson tries to calm her every once in a while trying to do crossword puzzles even if he has never finished one yet. John normally would just sit on the roof if he could and think about many things mainly about Sherlock. Today though he sat with Lestrade keeping watch. The day was calm so the team kept silent as to not draw attention to themselves. Lestrade and John kept up a little bit of a conversation every now and again talking about the weather and typical stuff. Zombies would pass on the street and the watchers would grow silent. Everyone knew they tracked on sound and could not risk even the slightest sound.
Day turned to night and the team sat down for dinner. Another slice of bread and some water. Not much but at least they all can get by.
"Ready for the big day Mr. Watson? I assume you took today to gather your mind on the task at hand right." Mycroft glared at John.
"Yes Mycroft I have and I will not let you down tomorrow."
"Good to hear. We are going towards Baker Street tomorrow if you all are wondering. My resources have told me Mrs. Hudson has been keeping up shop and gathering some supplies. I know it will be hard to get to from here but we can make it." John's heart sunk a little at the thought of going back there but at least Mrs. Hudson will be there. He hopes she has been handling herself well. Not many people get by on just themselves.
"Sounds like this will be fun and a great chance to stock up for a while. She has always been good to us in the past." Donovan observed.
"She is quite the feisty one from what I can remember." Anderson added in.
"Glad you are all on board this or it would be a hard mission." Mycroft got up to leave the table. "We must be up early tomorrow so everyone get your sleep. You need to be on full alert tomorrow." Mycroft left to retire for the evening. The others still sat there.
"You are going to be ok with this John? It will bring back a lot of memories for you. You have avoided this place for three years." Donovan spoke.
"I will be fine, I need to let go of the past and move on. I must have made Mrs. Hudson worry sick about me for not visiting when you guys went over from time to time." John sounded confident but nervous at the same time.
"Just remember that if you fall behind we will not come back for you."
"Anderson, seriously shut the hell up! Show some sympathy for once you idiot!" Lestrade got up ready to choke Anderson who was leaning back in his seat smirking. Molly touched his arm and sat back down to cool off.
"Trust me I will be the one saving your arse. I am ready for this." John fixed his eyes on Anderson and the smirk washed right off his face. "I do think we should get some sleep so we can function at full strength tomorrow."
"Right with you John." Sally smiled knowing that they have gotten some of their army doctor back but little did any of them know that John did not intend to heed his own advice. Everyone blew out the lamps and tucked in for the night after washing down as much as they could.
John waited until everyone was asleep to journey out again. He could not sleep. He was too nervous thinking about facing Mrs. Hudson again. Was three years enough time? What would his excuse be to her who has done so much for him ever since he moved in all those years ago? John found his way to his step he occupied last night. Oddly enough he felt the same presence he felt before. It started a few months ago after they passed by train yard. A zombie almost had John but a man gave his life to save him. John was then again filled by grief that someone else had given their life to save his. John just did not know what this presence was but when he was in London would be stronger. There would be wind in a still night that would carry whispers. A feeling like he was being watched and followed. The most he would feel like someone was reaching out to touch him but couldn't. John knew the spirit was not bad but not knowing who it could be haunted him more. Could it be a soul from a zombie he took the life of or the man that gave his life for him trying to tell him his last words? In the silence John felt like someone had their hand on his shoulder as if to put him at ease with his thoughts. John wrestled with the remnants of his nerves that he did not notice he felt warm in the still cold night. He came back to reality when a slight breeze whispered passes him again calling his name. The warmth startled him. He had no blanket or extra coat on yet it felt like someone draped a coat or embraced him. The darkest point of the night proved to be the creepiest.
Dawn was breaking as John went inside to prepare for the day. There was no fruit to eat so more bread it was. At least they would be stocking up today. John was the first one ready then Mycroft and Donovan then Anderson who was the last to arrive outside.
"Listen up everyone today we set out three miles to Baker Street it will be the longest three miles but hopefully we all can make it there together and come back together. We have until dusk to get back. Ms. Donovan you will be our front. Mr. Anderson you will cover our sides and last but not least Mr. Watson you will be our rear. Our lives are in your hands so make sure our back is clear." Mycroft said matter of factly. He would be in the center of the formation giving directions and not getting his hands dirty.
"Gotcha there Mycroft." John beamed.
"Why am I always the sides? It is so much to cover!"
"Shut up Anderson!" Sally glared.
"Better get moving we do not have all day to diddle dally." Mycroft rolled his eyes as he began to set off to get the others to follow. Donovan ran ahead to make sure the cost was clear before she had the chance to off Anderson. John brought up the rear. "Remember to keep quiet and only speak when need be. No need to draw attention to ourselves and get ourselves killed now." The journey began before Lestrade and Molly got up to wish them goodbye and good luck. John just hoped everything went according to plan so he can see them again. The silence made John's thoughts want to wander but he knew he had to keep his eyes peeled. His short ashen blonde hair whisped in the cool wind. He still felt like the group was being watched even though Sally said all clear at every turn and Anderson every side alley they came across. Mycroft just walked with his head high and eyes fixed ahead. He was so confident in himself that John was a little put off. He realized only he felt the presence that has been following him for months. A few zombies passed them but there was no need to shoot them since more would come to the sound. As they made the last turn to reach Baker Street John heard a whisper.
"John."
"Who's there, show yourself." John whispered as he spun around. Nobody was there behind him or in the area. John was breathing hard when Donovan came over to him.
"Did you see something?"
"No just the wind playing tricks on me." John sighed as he reached his old flat.
The group was greeted by a warm smile and John was treated a nice hug before the little spitfire of a lady scolded him.
"Three year! No note and not a single visit! I had to hear you were fine from Mycroft of all people! You know how much I was worried about you?" Mrs. Hudson really let John have it.
"I know and I am truly sorry. I should have done something before now but I just did not know what to say or how to face you." John looked down to avoid her glares. You never upset Mrs. Hudson and John saw firsthand what she could do to people.
"Well you are here now and that is what counts." Mrs. Hudson sighed as her steam came to a simmer. "Want some tea?"
"Mycroft?" John asked
"Ugh you have an hour and nothing more. We should eat before we go and make sure of our supplies anyways." Mycroft sighed. John knew this was an inconvenience to him but he also knew John has not seen his old land lady in years. John has deserved that much.
"So how have you been?" Mrs. Hudson handed John his tea the way he liked it. She still remembered after three years. John smiled.
"I have gotten much better thanks to Greg and Molly. Just recently I have been able to move on more. Molly showed me I am not the only one who misses him."
"Well I am glad to hear that John. You had me scared that you would do something rather rash with the dark place you were in. Molly is such an angel. I just hope she is moving on just as well."
"You know with Mycroft we hardly run into zombies and have not needed to fight so many off. He has been quite the help to us all but I just wish Sherlock was here."
"He is in a better place. I do not think you would want him to be here and end up one of you having to kill the other if it came to that. He would rather protect you from above than here. I do not think he would have the strength to take your life if he had to."
"If he deemed it logical he would."
"You do not give him enough credit John. He did love you and would do anything for you but taking the life of the one you hold most dear you would have to have a heart of solid stone to be cold enough to do it without hesitation." Mrs. Hudson was a little stern with John. John sunk into his chair more.
"Speaking on from above—"John wanted to change the subject he walked into. "Molly thinks I have some guardian angel watching over me. I have cheated death quite a few times since this war has begun. I chalk that up to sheer luck and wit. I mean this presence I have with me has only been with me for a few months."
"Spirits are quite tricky you know. It could be a number of things and reasons."
"I know. I also know it means no harm but it does want something. I swear I can hear it say my name like whispers in the wind." John was sounding a little panicked thinking the others might here his ramble or Mrs. Hudson would worry more than she already is.
"John I believe you. I used to think I heard violin music coming from your old flat but no one is there. It is just your mind and grief playing tricks on you. As you move on more they will stop." Mrs. Hudson flashed a very sweet smile towards John. His tea was gone and his time was just about up. Mycroft knocked on the door to let John know he would need to wrap things up so they can head out before dark. John headed toward the others and realized the place was the same since he and Sherlock lived there. His mind wandered to the flat and thought it was still the same. The yellow smiley face with bullet holes, the fridge filled with frightful goodies and the two chairs that held many memories of late night talks between the mates. John's nostalgia was broken when Mycroft shoved a pack at his chest.
"Here take this. It is a mixture of all the food we will need for the next month until we can visit here again. Thank you Mrs. Hudson for all you do for us and keep up the fine work." Mycroft remained courteous with her for Sherlock's sake and even John's.
"I will try and you all stay safe now!" Mrs. Hudson was at the entry way trying to be as upbeat as possible. They all went out the door one by one John being the last. He stopped and gave Mrs. Hudson a hug.
"I will be back next time around and maybe we can talk more." John waved as he walked out of the door.
"You better." The little land lady smiled a sweet smile as she returned the wave.
Halfway back and the sun began to set. Zombies were all over the place now. What a pain this was. The team did their best to move without sound but it is hard when Anderson brushes against a mailbox. All hell broke loose.
"Bloody hell! Thanks a lot for getting us into this mess you idiot!" Donovan began shooting off rounds trying to take out as many zombies as she could before they came too close.
"Well it's kinda hard with all these zombies walking around and so many things in my way!" Anderson began running at full speed. John was doing his best to shoot each one that came near the group. There were so many though. Still another mile to go before they would reach the hide out.
"Everyone just run as fast as you can and shoot when necessary! We may have gotten some new ammo but we still do not want to waste it now." Mycroft yelled as he ran but not as fast as Donovan and Anderson. John compensated for that so he could keep the ex-cake lover safe. He popped off zombie after zombie always with head shots. He knew bullets were treasured and kept for emergencies. It was getting darker so it became harder for the doctor to see his target. He saw ahead of him that Donovan had tripped and a zombie was zoning in on her as she tried to get back up in the panic. He ran faster and set his aim to the head and fired. Killing the zombie in just one shot while it's motionless body fell onto of Donovan. She screamed slightly and scurried up and ran faster than before. Anderson looked back surprised he made the shot before he remembered to keep running. Mycroft caught up to John and they ran together being chased by the hideous creatures. The hide out became closer and closer and the zombies began to slow down since their footsteps were relatively silent with the other sounds of the nightfall. John slowed his pace to make sure he was quiet. Mycroft slowed with him.
'Well done back there Mr. Watson. You really are proving yourself to being back to your usual self. I do expect a lot out of you on our move to our next spot tomorrow." Mycroft smiled a stiff smile which was thanks enough to John given how the man was. They both reached the house and Molly ran out to hug John.
"I am so glad you made it back! I heard the gun shots and screams and shouts. Then only saw Sally and Anderson return." Molly fought back tears. She was so afraid she had lost her one person that connected her to Sherlock and she felt the need to protect him at all costs. The worry was only natural from her.
"Just another hoard that decided to chase us. Nothing to worry about. They can not bring me down that easily." John tried to reassure her. "Come on let's get inside before we lose the light and become sitting ducks.
"Hey thanks for saving me out there. I thought I was a goner." Donovan said as John passed through the door propping Molly up.
"Not a problem at all. Glad you are still here." John got inside and the door shut. John set the bag down on the table and began to unpack its contents. Each bag had some different elements of food. Mrs. Hudson would throw in some sandwiches which barely would last them three days but they were a nice comfort. There were also some various kinds of fruit and vegetables. Nothing canned since they found some on the way to each new location. The ammo was in the little pockets and there were two new guns. Not much but enough for another month.
"I suggest you all get some sleep starting now we are heading towards the train station tomorrow. There we could stay a week or two before moving again." Mycroft was serious but calm as he turned towards where he slept. John knew this was going to be dangerous. The team would split into two groups taking different routes and leaving at different times. The rest grabbed some fruit and quickly ate it before turning in for the long night ahead of them. John did try to sleep but sleep did not come easy.
"John…"
John sat up straight. Something caught his eye. How did he not see this before? He got up and went to his bag. There was a piece of blue cloth hanging from it. As John took it out of the pocket he realized it was a scarf. A blue scarf. Sherlock's scarf. How did Mrs. Hudson have it? John did not know at all but something hit him. The presence he been feeling could actually be Sherlock. How could he be so stupid? The guy actually did care for him enough to watch over him in times of need. He knew John was going through hell over his death. The voice in the wind suddenly clicked and sound familiar enough to make John tear up.
"Sherlock I know it is you. If you could hear me please say something or do something to let me know it is you that is here with me." John stuttered.
"John….John…Please…..John…" the voice made it hard to make out the words.
"Hell I have been such an idiot! I should have known it was you that I felt with me. I just have been so blind and didn't think you could be there for me. I am so sorry. So so so sorry. You must hate me and be in such pain that your own best friend did not recognize your presence." John sobbed while gripping the scarf in his shaking hands.
"John…John….Run….Please."
"What, what is that my friend?" John exclaimed into the night.
"John…Vatican cameos…"
"Down John!" Lestrade yelled at the doctor. John quickly dropped to the floor as Greg fired at the zombie right behind John.
"We are blown guys we need to move now" Donovan yelled as she packed up all she could before rounding up the others. Anderson was covering her as well as he could as John went for his gun.
"John!" Molly screamed. John grasped his gun and took aim and took out the zombie near Molly.
"I can not believe they found us." Mycroft was running around gathering his books. The group did their best with the cleanup and hopped out the window which had zombies swarming near it. John again at the back picking off the zombies while letting the others have a chance. He still had the scarf attached to his hand. Donovan had the front with Lestrade clearing the way in a hurry not caring about ammo. In their surprise no one really cared about saving the ammo they just needed to get out and fast. They ran up the streets clearing the way. Molly and Mycroft were the only ones who did not have guns and were the most vulnerable. Zombies kept on coming. Moonlight was the only thing keeping the team aware of what was around them. Gunshots everywhere. They made it to the train station and entered it to get on the tracks and follow it to their new hide out.
"In hear guys! We can out run them in here." Lestrade panicked as he held the door open. Everyone ran in with John being the last. The team stopped to breathe for a minute.
"Everyone ok?" Molly asked looking Lestrade and John.
"I think so but that was a close one." Lestrade replied.
"They are some sneaky bastards I give them that." Donovan panted
"Wait just wait I thought Mycroft had a defense against them if they tried to enter." Anderson sneered trying to catch his breath.
"Well I did but I guess he is dead. There was supposed to be a sniper on the rooftop across from us in case they found us which we would hear and not be surprised. He always followed us from afar but somewhere along the line we lost him to them."
"Some plan you got there!"
"Maybe he just ran away." John reasoned.
"It is possible but unlikely given the agreement I have with him."
"Oh hell they are coming right at us now! Run!" Donovan yelled as she ran towards the loading station. Everyone then saw that the zombies have found them by entering a different way. John didn't even worry about shooting them and just running. If they made it to the tracks and ran fast enough maybe just maybe they could lose them if there was not a swarm of them.
"John…" The voice was stronger this time and more like Sherlock's. Suddenly a bench flew and hit the zombies knocking some back. John could not believe his eyes. Sherlock was actually trying to protect him and everyone else. He then realized he still had the scarf on his hand and harshly smiled. John ran faster. The tracks came right up on them as they jumped down onto them. They kept to the ground and not run on the tracks so they do not harm themselves and become zombie food. John witnessed more chairs and benches being flung at the hoard. As John was looking back he did not notice how close to the track he was and fell to the ground hard from the ledge. The others were ahead of him and didn't realize John had fallen. They kept on running. John tried to get up but he must have twisted his ankle pretty badly and could not get up.
"John." The voice was almost like it was right next to John. He thought Sherlock was trying to help him up. "John get up and hurry."
"I can't. My ankle is sprained and I do not think I can make it like this. I can do all I can while I am still hear. Then maybe if I am lucky I can join you." John began to fire off round after round taking out zombie after zombie.
"John you must hurry and get out of here while you still can. Before it is too late." John could have sworn it was like Sherlock was there fighting with him. He kept on firing round after round of all his ammo. He seemed to clear the small swarm. All but one. John had one last bullet and was waiting for it to come closer so he can get a final clean shot.
"Get out and get out now I do not want you to see this." It sounded like Sherlock was pleading with John.
"See what? It is just another zombie. I maybe can make it out of here if I do not miss. I can live and keep your memory going like you would want me to. If I don't do this it is very possible I could die." John had will even if it was shaky due to knowing he could join his best friend but he did not want to pain him even if it is his spirit. "Just another zombie, right Sherl—" John halfly giggled until he saw something and could not believe his eyes. The moon light revealed something more than just hideous, it was plain downright cruel and heart wrenching. John gasped and crawled back to the far wall of the track. This must be one sick joke. "What the hell is that? Is this some joke Sherlock? How can this be?" As the zombie got closer John could see the messy brown hair, the slender figure, once pale but now bluish skin and the ocean eye dead hazed and gleaming in the moon light. John's best friend and soul mate was standing right in front of him hideous and disfigured. His neck was ripped out and hand tattered. John was speechless but tears were running down his face.
"I told you to get out of here before it was too late and you saw me like this." The voice was pained.
"I thought you were dead those three years ago so how can this be then?" John stuttered.
"John I was not dead. I had to stay dead to protect you and everyone I hold close to me."
"I was at your grave! I watched you fall!"
"I know you must be hurt but please do not think on this at all right now. Right now you must kill me."
"How can I not wonder how you survived?" John raged through the tears. "Wait you said kill you? No I can't do that. Not you not ever. There has to be another way."
"I am sorry John but there is not an alternative. I have been trying to get you to notice me so I can try to tell you to stay away but it is too late now there is no turning back now." Sherlock was trying to mask more pain in his voice.
"Months how can that be you were –" It clicked for John. He was saved by angel that day in the train yard. Sherlock threw himself onto the zombie to by John some time to get away. He knew John was reckless and he felt guilty that he put his friend's life in danger that he gave up his. John was just too filled with grief to notice and ran out without thinking about anything. It all made sense now and pain struck John's heart like a blade. "NO NO that can not be! How did I not notice then? I could have saved you and not let you meet this fate."
"John what is done is done. I would gladly give my life for you over and over if it meant you were safe. Now please pull the trigger and end this."
"Will you still be hear with me after all this?"
"No, I will move on to the next life."
"Then no I can not do this. I just got you back! How can you do this to me? How do you expect me to just simply end what made me the happiest I have ever been? I love you Sherlock. Don't you know that?" John's hands were shaky as the zombie Sherlock grew closer giving no signs of letting John leave.
"You have to John. I can not see you die not like this at least. I know I heard you all those times as my grave. I wish I could have granted your final wish but please grant mine and shoot me."
"I-I can't!"
"John I will always be here for you in your mind and heart. I gave you my scarf to prove that I care." John felt Sherlock embrace him and made him see reason which put him at ease. The zombie was about ten feet away by now but all of a sudden it stopped. "Now John while I have some strength left in me!"
"I am so sorry!" The doctor sobbed as he raised his gun."
"I know. Goodbye John. I will always love you."
Bam! Thud! Silence.
John walked over to Sherlock's body and rolled it over. He could hardly bear to see what happened to his soul mate. John dropped to his knees. He felt hallow inside nothing there to comfort him at all. He wept there for what felt like hours as the sun began to shine through the building. As the light shone in John looked up. He saw the blue scarf on the ground and a gust came by and began to make the scarf fly away. John hurried up and ran after the only piece of his friend that he had left. He ran along the tracks. The gust would let go of the scarf but pick it up again as soon as John got close. After quite a few yards of running the scarf finally came to a stop on a wire fence. John hurried to pick it up. As he did he noticed a carved sign that read:
"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
John looked at the scarf and the poem again. He knew Sherlock would always be with him through it all. He was his guardian angel that would watch him for above. This was John's proof. Sherlock was in a better place so he really did not die. John wrapped the scarf around his wrist and continued his walk.
He made it to the cottage by sundown. He went through the door and was greeted by so many warms smiles and hugs. They all were happy that John was alive. Only Molly and Lestrade noticed the scarf and John just said Mrs. Hudson gave it to him as a token of remembrance. He could not burden them especially Molly with what transpired at the train station. It would not only be hard to believe but cause new grief. Mycroft asked about the scarf later and he also knew Sherlock was alive but John had to tell him about the train station. Mycroft was not the same after that. He always looked deep in thought and carried a heavy heart. John knew this would take him ages to get over and that he would be there for him when he would want to talk. John would look up to the sky and smile knowing Sherlock was smiling down on him each day. There still maybe zombies but the team gets by in their cottage and only goes to the city for supplies. John fights knowing he can save his friends and one day see his Sherlock again one way or another. It is not about grieving for a loss but to live each day and celebrate the memory of those who were there for you until the end.
