AN: Oh, the pointlessness... I have to thank my friend Luke for forcing me to watch DRRR! one afternoon. Just a little FF crack to keep my writing skills up to snuff.
One thirty-six a.m. Shizuo stands on a street corner, cigarette in one hand, white paper bag in the other. He'd decided to stop at the bakery around the corner and get a bite to eat; he was as known for his sweet tooth in 'bukuro as he was his strength. The bakery had been familiar to him his entire life. The woman that worked there had offered him and his brother milk, told them it'd make them stronger, keep Shizuo from breaking his bones the next time he tried to pick up a refrigerator. ...Well, she didn't actually say the last part, but he assumed as much.
He'd seen those men harassing her in the store...let the anger get the best of him...he'd hurt her trying to protect her.
Shizuo closes his mocha brown eyes and huffs on what's left of his cigarette. It's all in the past now...
He licks his lip, reaches down into the bottom of the goodie bag, and smiles at the contents. Inside the bag is a single cookie, packed with still-melted chocolate chips. He opened his mouth, and -
BAM.
The wind is quite literally knocked out of him as he falls to the ground, his cookie a good foot or so away from his grasp. A foot falls over Shizuo's cigarette butt. Now looming over him are a familiar fur jacket and a pair of narrowed amber orbs, bright even in the nighttime darkness.
Why, Izaya, of course.
"Ahh, Shizu-chan," he says with his best smirk on his face, "it's so late out. How can you see in this darkness with those sunglasses on~?"
Shizuo cringes at the so-called pet name and attempts to bring himself to his feet. A black shoe comes down on top of his back and pushes him back into the pavement.
"Why in such a hurry?" asks the raven.
"What do you want, flea?" the other growls.
Izaya laughs in his obscene, irritating giggle and picks the treat off the ground. "Oh, you stopped at the bakery, did you?"
"I'm warning you -"
"Perhaps you won't mind if I sample this, then~?" Izaya brings the treat to his lips, parting them slightly enough to let the sweet goodness spread across his tongue and push Shizuo close to the point of snapping.
"FLEA -"
And then it happens. The information broker takes a bite out of the cookie.
...snap.
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIII-ZAAAAAAAAAAAA-YAAAAAAAAAAAAA-KUUUUUUUUUUUN!"
The raven laughs and runs.
One forty-six a.m. Shizuo now sits on the raven's back, cookie in hand.
Izaya scratches at the asphalt with his fingernail and allows a wide, evil smirk to slide across his face. "Y'know, Shizu-chan," he said, his amber eyes lighting up, "my tongue was on that cookie."
"Yes?" inquires Shizuo through a mouthful of chocolate goodness.
"And now your tongue is on that coo -"
"SHUT IT, FLEA."
A moment of silence passes. The only sounds are the occasional car horn in the late business of Ikebukuro and Shizuo munching on the cookie.
"...My DNA is now inside of yo -"
"IZAYA-KUUUUUUUN!"
...*headdesk* I can't believe I spent twenty minutes writing this... Ahh, well, it turned out alright, didn't it? Let me know what you think, always appreciated.
