It was in one of these short meetings, each apparently occupied in admiring a fine display of green-house plants, that he said—
"I have been thinking over the past, and trying impartially to judge of the right and wrong, I mean with regard to myself; and I must believe that I was right, much as I suffered from it, that I was perfectly right in not automatically assuming that I ought to renew the engagement when I returned to England in the year eight, with a few thousand pounds. I could not insult you by believing you to be either mercenary enough to value my wealth more than my love, or less than a rational creature speaking from the heart three years before. You had given me no invitation to return or permission to hope but absolutely put an end to the engagement, and I could only pay you the compliment of believing you sincere and believing what you said. I respected your wishes, as you made me understand them, for a relinquishment; I had too little pride in myself and too much respect for you to do otherwise, unlike so many men are wont to do when confronted with a woman's refusal. It would have been more reprehensible in me to assume I had a right to renew the engagement. I have now, as far as such a sentiment is allowable in human nature, nothing to reproach myself with; and if I mistake not, the ability to take "No" for an answer is no bad part of a man's portion."
Anne replied after a moment of cool deliberation, "It was Lady Russell who deprecated the connexion in every light, not I, and I let her convince me that marrying you would be wrong―indiscreet, improper, and hardly capable of success. I shut my eyes and would not do you justice. This is a recollection which ought to make me forgive everyone sooner than myself. Eight years of separation and suffering would have been spared. I soon concluded that under every disadvantage of disapprobation at home, and every anxiety attending your profession, all our probable, fears, delays, and disappointments, I should yet have been a happier woman in marrying you, than I had been in the sacrifice of you. But I was proud, too proud to admit this to you, and instead boasted that I was right in submitting to her, and that if I had done otherwise, I should have suffered more in marrying you than I did even in giving you up. What was I trying to prove if not that adhering to your personal convictions may be more important than romantic love, but apparently not more important than friendship?"
There was no answer.
