Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note:
This is what happens when I spend all day sleeping-seriously, how I could take Benedryl and meletonin instead of Midol is beyond me. I ended up missing a day of a "race war" going on at my high school though, not that I think I would have been pulled in it since I'm white and I'm not a hick-it's supposed to be "blacks versus hicks"-I call them African-American, by the way. I'm not being racist, exact words I read when the "race war" was described to me-and watching "Ouran High School Host Club"-don't know how I ended up writing a "Durarara!" fanfiction after watching four and a half hours of this in such a small amount of time. Gah, anyway, have some crack.


Izaya could only smirk to himself. He knew he could manage getting this juicy piece of information; he was an informant after all. Why should it be hard to get a hold on Shizuo's email address and his Facebook password?

Izaya chuckled to himself and smiled wildly. Oh, how lovely the world of trolling could be.

He typed the desired web address into the bar at the top of Google Chrome. After a second or two, the famous social network's homepage popped up in all of its blue glory. He rolled his cursor over to the email bar and erased his email address from where it was saved. He checked the slip of paper, copying the address down on the keyboard. The password was soon added afterwards.

When Shizuo's main page popped up, Izaya started typing his own name into the search bar. He rolled over to "Add Friend". The brunette pulled out his phone and added Shizuo on his Facebook account.

Next was the sabotage of Shizuo's account.

Izaya laughed uncontrollably as he typed a new status update for his blond enemy. After it was posted, it wasn't long after that Erika Karisawa had liked it and posted a comment with the words "I knew Shizaya was real!"

Izaya next went on Shizuo's profile and clicked the little "Edit Profile" link. Izaya's smile went wider, a smile so wide that it could be compared to that of the Cheshire Cat's.

He rolled the mouse over to the part about friends and family tab.

Izaya stopped for a moment to bask in what he was about to do. He couldn't hold his laughter in anymore. Shizu-chan was going to be pissed, but this was going to be so damn funny.

Izaya composed himself for just a few moments to get the task at hand done. He clicked the drop-down box that had the words "Select Relation:" printed onto it. He clicked it and scrolled down to "In a relationship". When the option to add with whom, he quickly typed his own name in and clicked on his account. He saved the changes.

As soon as that was saved, he confirmed the action with his own phone so that he wouldn't have to bother logging in his account on the computer.

He couldn't help but smile to himself as he nonchalantly made his way to the doorway of his apartment for a walk in Ikebukuro.


"I can't believe you and Iza-Iza got together, Shizu-chan! I don't think I've ever been this happy about yaoi!"

Shizuo stared down at the hyper-active otaku. What was she going on about?

"And, to think, you even put it on Facebook, too! It's so romantic how you're expressing your love to him for the whole world to know!"

He stared down at the girl with a confused, yet ready-to-be angry look, "What are you talking about?"

Erika could only frown, "What do you mean? You and Izaya are dating now, right?" Her face suddenly lit up again and she clapped her hands together in an excited manner, "Who tops and who bottoms? Iza-Iza's the uke, right! Oh, I knew it! Does he scream and cry when you—"

"Enough," Shizuo snapped, storming off.

Erika became disappointed, "Can't you tell me more details before you leave?"

"No, I'm going to go find that son of a bitch and kick his ass; I don't have time to answer questions of those fantasies of yours."

"You mean with your—"

"I don't mean it that way!"


Later that day, Namie couldn't help but notice that Izaya had left Facebook on his desktop. When she walked towards the screen, she couldn't help but notice a certain status: Shizuo Heiwajima I love Izaya Orihara! He's the best person ever!


Author's Note:
I forgot to mention that while writing this, I had to change my Facebook language back to American English. I can't remember if I switched it back to Pirate or not.