How was I to have known that all this time he had been one of them? I did not know. The humiliation was no less public. The betrayal – the shock of it – left me burning up inside. I am not some whore whose name has no meaning in the morning. I might have slammed my fist atop the table and ground out empty threats in the heat of that moment.
"They were not people, Jack. Not like us – we were the ones who mattered, the only ones who mattered. They were nothing, they were human waste. I want you to know: I was judge, jury, and executioner. I sent out my spies and I got every one of them back. You kept me busy building gallows."
I only gave him what he deserved. That is a lie. I gave him more than he ever deserved. I was foolish. But I was taught a great lesson. Failure is an excellent teacher. Let them have all the rest of me and I shall keep my heart inside my chest. Let them break me down so low there is no place left to go.
"No, Jack. I will not kill you. I am going to let you live. Think you have sorrows now? Then they had best learn to swim – your precious ship is burning – drink that down. Oh, this? This is what you deserve; this is what you have always wanted. Keep still. This is going to hurt-"
-But not as much as you hurt me. You were just like them. No. That is a lie. You had more finesse. You had a deceptive gentleness. I thought I could trust you. It was nothing more than the cool brush of a snake in the bed sheets. You will never hurt me again: I am Lord Beckett. You are just like all the rest: Liar. Torturer. Rapist. Pirate.
Whoa, inspiration! I kept replaying that song until it got me what I wanted. This is a fic told from Cutler's perspective and it is his reaction to Jack's betrayal. I have tried to deconstruct this in Cutler's mind so that Jack's betrayal is emotionally on the same level as Beckett's physical rape and torture when we was held captive by pirates. I'm kind of getting this from The Price of Freedom – I have only ever read the summaries. It is about Cutler coming to understand jack's betrayal on the same level that he understood the dehumanizing time he spent with the pirates. He has to turn Jack into one of them to find a way for his ego – his house of pride (as Jack London called it) – to survive. In doing so, he dehumanizes Jack and this is the first real, conscious step in the direction of becoming what he has called Jack: liar, torturer, rapist, and pirate. Eventually, Beckett becomes the very thing he despises, albeit with more "finesse", and he has the ability to reason it all away. I swear, I am thinking in nothing but lyrics tonight. Cutler Beckett can become the very thing he hates – because he has identified with his abusers – and he never has to confront his own actions from an exterior context. All his context and subtext is interior and from his warped perspective. He has hardened his heart beyond the casual cruelty of his youth into a self defense mechanism so sharp no one will ever come at him again. And I hope this all makes sense. Is it bad when your story notes exceed the length of the story? _
