Fly on the wall

I sigh as I sit on my bed, just staring at your bed opposite. I know I shouldn't be having these thoughts, but I can't help it. At that point you walk in the room and take your top off, throwing it at me with a laugh. You think that I'm in a world of my own, lost in my own thoughts, but the truth is that I noticed the second the door handle moved and you walked through. I don't let myself look at you. I can't.

You don't notice that I continue to hold the top close to me. I make an excuse and walk out the room as you start to get undressed for bed. I want to stay…you've no idea how much…I just can't let myself. I wonder if you suspect anything, but you've never said or hinted that you do. I take a cold shower, as if the coldness will numb my feelings, but as soon as I step foot in the room and see you lying there in bed my feelings come flooding back.

I tear my eyes away from you and crawl into bed, turning to face the wall, and mumble, "goodnight." I hear you say it back and I smile. I fall to sleep, dreaming of what it would be like if we could be together. Do I wish to hurt myself? It seems so as I find myself being shaken awake and the reality hits me. We are not together.

I see you standing there with a smirk on your face. You remind me that we have to go to work soon at the club, P3. I groan, not because of work like you think, but because I want to go back to sleep. Back to where we are together. I force myself to get up and watch as you walk out the room, closing the door behind you.

I wish I could follow you. See where you go and what you are doing. I wish for some things that I was a fly on the wall. You may never notice me, but I could always be with you. I could watch you…be closer to you than I ever could as a human. Sure, I could use magic, but you'd worry if I disappeared and I wouldn't want to worry you. Besides becoming a fly has too many side effects.

I hurriedly get dressed and make my way to the kitchen where you are already busy cooking breakfast. I smile. You are so perfect. You smile back and then raise an eyebrow. I wonder why and then realise it is probably because I haven't moved from the kitchen door. I quickly move and sit down at the table, although my eyes are still fixed on you. Instead of questioning it you turn your back to me and continue to cook the breakfast.

"Sleep well?" you ask. I nod and then remember he is facing the other way.

"Um…yeah, I guess. You?"

You shrug. "Suppose." You turn back around and place a plate full of bacon, egg and tomatoes in front of me. "I could hear you talking in your sleep." A look of horror crossed my face and I felt myself blushing.

"What did I say?" I ask quietly. You stay silent. "Wyatt? That bad?" I asked, laughing nervously. You shook your head.

"You're not the only one who sometimes wishes to be the fly on the wall, Chris." You grin and start eating and I can't help but grin back. I guess I'm not the only feeling that way.